Jane O'Callaghan's Friendly Truth or Dare!
by Jane O'Callaghan
Summary: Hooray for truth or dare fics! I'm bored, and so decided to make my own! ...The game show is over now, since I'm ending the fic, sorry!
1. Chapter 1

Jane O'Callaghan's Friendly Truth or Dare!

Chapter 1  
(even though it's not really a chapter)

Hey everyone! That's right, I'm starting a truth or dare fic! I know, I know, there's already a ton of these out there, but I'm bored, and I just can't figure out what to do with my other fic (which hasn't even had its first chapter posted yet, so that tells you how much trouble I'm having with it…), so I figured this would be a nice distraction/excuse! Plus, I've never really done anything like this before, so it should be interesting. Now, as you can see from the title (and the story rating…), this is supposed to be a nice friendly fic for anyone to read. That means no weird stuff, like having so-and-so make out with what's-his face. Anything inappropriate to the wonderful K+ rating shall be ignored. I'll just apologize in advance now, because ignoring people is rude! You can have someone kill somebody else, but just keep in mind that it won't be anything graphic, and that person will come back to life right away (well, maybe not _right_ away). Sorry if it seems like I'm putting up too much restrictions, but some of the other truth or dare fics creep me out because of their…erm…violence? Yes, we'll just stick with the word violence for now…

Anyways, you can send in questions for the characters, or dares. Just let me know who you're talking to so that I can have the characters respond accordingly. So (if you want to), just press the little blue/purple/lilac/periwinkle colored review button on the bottom of the screen and send in your questions/dares! Also, I do accept anonymous reviews, so anyone can join in on the (hopefully) fun!

And I do not own anything Zelda, except for my Link action figure/doll, that has the ability to move his arm and destroy little houses made of toothpicks or anything around that weight. He also came with Epona! :-D

Oh! And I've just decided to add something new, something that no other truth or dare fic has done before (at least I don't think it's been done before…)! Link and Navi want to do a special show at the end of each chapter, sort of like a game show thing. Anyone will be able to participate! Here's what I had in mind: Questions will be PM'd (private message 'd) to anyone who wishes to enter, and then the contestants will send their answers back to me via the same way (PM (private message)). There will only be a few questions, since it's just a little ending 'for fun' thing, and they'll usually be really easy questions that someone who just started playing the Zelda series will be able to answer (at least I hope so…people will get very mad at me if they turn out to be harder…)! This might turn out to be a lame idea, but I figured I'd just give it a try for awhile and see if anyone liked it.  
Also, I'll need votes on the name for the new show… I was thinking either, Are You Smarter Than a Kokiri? or, Who Wants to be an Owner of a Golden Rupee!If you like the idea, please tell me which name you like the best via a review, because I have no idea how to set up a vote thingy on my profile… If you think this is a stupid idea, then just ignore the entire paragraph! Hmm…maybe I should've told you to ignore it in the beginning of the paragraph… oh well, too late now!

So anyway, thanks to anyone who took the time to read this, and double thanks to those who will actually send in truth and/or dares!

**Author's Notes: What's this? More author's notes right after an entire page of author's notes...interesting... Anyways, I just wanted to mention that I might be a bit slow getting out chapters for this, since, as I've said before, I've never done anything like this before. There's also the whole school thing going on.  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the reviews! :-D  
**

* * *

Chapter 2  
(which is technically the first chapter, since Chapter 1 wasn't really a chapter…)

"Hi everyone, I'm Princess Zelda, the princess of destiny!" Zelda shouted, making all the other Zelda characters partially deaf for a short time. Someone from the large group booed, but he was quickly kicked out of the building by one of Zelda's many bodyguards (he wasn't an important character anyway; you can tell, because nobody else even noticed that he was gone). "And I'm the hostess of this truth or dare fic! Today we have a total of… drum roll please!" There was a few minutes of silence before Zelda started throwing random objects at the other characters. "I said drum roll, darn it!"

"We don't have anyone who knows how to play drums!" Link protested, hiding from the angry princess behind his shield.

"Oh…well start learning already! You there!" Zelda pointed randomly at someone, "Learn to play the drums, so we can do my show the proper way!"

"Uh…Zelda?" Link asked nervously as the person Zelda had pointed to began to jump around in his excitement over being picked.

"What?" Zelda snapped angrily.

"You picked Tingle for the drums…"

Zelda gave a high pitched scream when she saw that Link was correct, "But he's creepy! And ugly!"

"Tingle Tingle Kooloo-limpah!" Tingle shouted. "These are Tingle's magic words, don't steal them!"

"Whatever," Zelda said. "Just give me a drum roll, so we can get started already!"

"Ok!"

"Now then, today we have a total of…drum roll please!"

Unfortunately, Zelda hadn't given the strange man enough time to learn how to play the drums, and so he continued shouting out his magic words instead. "Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!"

Zelda stared at him for awhile before sighing, "Good enough. We have a grand total of… three questions, and three dares for today!"

"Hooray!" Everyone else shouted, except for Tingle, as he was too out of breath from his previous shouting.

"These are…Tingle's…magic words…don't steal them!" he managed to get out before fainting from lack of oxygen.

Everyone ignored him and left him where he was as they all moved to the special 'review room'.

"This first one is from Lostwonder15: **I will use a simple question...for Link. Have you ever hated Navi so much you wanted to make her into a snowball?**" Zelda read off of a piece of paper. Every single person turned to look at Link. "Well?" Zelda asked impatiently. "We're waiting!"

"Um…wait, what was the question? I wasn't listening…" Link said hesitantly.

Zelda gave a disgusted sigh before throwing the question at Link, "Read it yourself! The princess of destiny never repeats herself!"

"What?" Ganondorf, who was in the very back of the room, asked.

"I said the princess of destiny never repeats herself!" Zelda shrieked.

"Oh. Ok."

Meanwhile, Link was trying to read the question that had been handed to him, "Have…you……… How do you pronounce this word?"

"Oh for crying out loud, give it to me!" Midna shouted, and she then read the question out to Link.

"Oh! Well… Of course I tried to turn her into a snowball! I've tried everything to get rid of that annoying, talking fairy!" Link shouted.

"Teehee!" Navi said happily as both she and Link remembered what had happened on that fateful, cold winter's day…

* * *

Flashback:

Link and Navi were walking through Hyrule Field, returning from a long day of shopping at the Castle Market, when suddenly…it began to snow! "Hey look listen!" Navi said excitedly, pointing at all the snowflakes.

"I know, it's pretty!" Link said, still walking.

"Hey look listen!" Navi shouted, still pointing at the snow.

"I know…I saw it…" Link said, frowning at Navi before continuing the trek back home.

"Hey look listen!"

"I know! I saw!"

"Hey look listen!"

"Ok! I saw it!!" Link shouted.

"Hey look listen!"

"I KNOW!!"

"Hey look list-"

"I can't take it anymore!" Link shouted, and he dropped all of his groceries that he had been carrying before scooping up some of the snow and creating a snowball. Then he snatched Navi from the air and stuffed her inside the snowball before tossing it away from him, nodding satisfactorily as the fairy's voice got farther and farther away. Link gave a sigh of relief before retrieving his bags and turning around, only to find that Navi was right in front of him. Not only that, but she had learned how to create snowballs by watching Link make his. "Uh oh…" Link said nervously as the fairy aimed a large amount of snowballs at him.

"Hey look listen!" Navi shouted happily, and then began to cover Link in the cold snow.

End of Flashback.

* * *

"I hate snow," Link grumbled while Navi just hummed innocently and floated around his head.

"Well…that was an entertaining story, Link. Now, onwards!" Zelda shouted while Link just sat in a corner and glared at his fairy companion. "This question is for Link, from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule: **What brand of shampoo do you use?**"

Once again, everyone turned to face Link. "You better have been paying attention this time!" Zelda shouted at the boy.

"I was!" Link defended himself before the princess could start throwing things at him again. "Actually, I make my own shampoo. I throw together some beetroots, some salt, some pepper, some rice, a little bit of butter, and water, and then I let it simmer for awhile before throwing it on my head!"

". . . . . . . ." said everyone.

"What?" Link asked.

"Link, that's a recipe for beetroot soup, you moron!" Zelda shouted.

"It is? Oh."

"Anyway, it's time for our first dare!"

"Muhahahaha, finally!" Ganondorf shouted excitedly. "Which of you losers is going to have to do something stupid?"

Everyone stared at the tall man.

"What?" Ganondorf asked, getting nervous.

"Uh… This dare is for Ganondorf!" Zelda said cheerfully.

"Darn! I should've seen that coming…" Ganondorf said miserably.

"Yeah, you should've," Link said casually.

"Shut up, Link! Nobody likes you!" Ganondorf snapped, not even paying attention to Zelda as she read out the dare. He was caught by surprise when suddenly Zelda held out a small drinking bowl for puppies, filled with water.

"Here you go!" She said happily.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Ganondorf snapped.

"It's the dare! From The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! See?" Zelda handed the man a piece of paper.

"**I dare you to drink out of a puppy's water dish!**?" Ganondorf read out loud. "But that's icky!"

"It's the dare, so do it!" Zelda snapped.

"Ewwwww," Ganondorf said as he grabbed the bowl with just the tips of his fingers.

"Ewwwwwwwwww," everyone else said as Ganondorf took a deep breath and then swallowed the water in just one gulp.

"Yuck yuck yuck! Somebody give me mouthwash or something!" Ganondorf screamed.

"Here, take mine!" Link shouted, tossing the man a small bottle of green liquid.

"What is it?" Ganondorf asked hesitantly, peering at the liquid.

"Oh, just my own recipe. It's got lots of peas in it, some onions, a little bit of sugar, and oil, and some cream, with just a dash of mint!" Link said proudly.

"That's pea soup!" Ganondorf shouted impatiently, but he drank it anyway. "Not bad, really…"

"Ok, let's move on!" Zelda said. "Our next question is from Sott: **If the evil big owl who is annoying is there, I would like to ask him…Why are you annoying?**"

"Ahha! A question for me!" shouted the owl, forcing his way between Link and Ganondorf, who were trading recipes. The giant bird waddled over to Zelda before fluffing his feathers happily. He then pouted when he reread the question. "I'm not annoying!" he protested.

"Yes you are!" Link called over.

"Fine! Hmm, why am I annoying? Good question! I don't really know why I like to annoy people, I just do! It's so much fun, seeing the look of despair on people's faces the minute they see me, and yet they know that they can't do anything about it. And if they try to skip my speech, they accidentally end up saying that they'd like me to repeat myself! Muhahaha! Would you like to hear what I said again?"

"Yes already!" Zelda shouted without realizing what she was saying. She gasped and quickly covered her mouth with her hands as the owl smiled menacingly and then repeated his speech, starting with the protest that he wasn't annoying.

Finally the owl finished again, and Link, who had more experience with the owl, quickly said that they didn't want to hear what he had said again. "Thank goodness!" Zelda shouted while everyone else gave sighs of relief. "Now, you have a dare from Sott, annoying talking owl!"

"Oooo, really?" the owl asked excitedly.

"Your dare is…**Don't annoy anyone for the rest of the chapter. Ha!**"

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"Is he ok?" Saria asked as everyone stared at the shocked expression on the owl's face.

"Don't…annoy…anyone?" the owl asked, and then he promptly fainted.

"Aw that's no fun, now he can't suffer!" Zelda said with a pout. "Well anyway, since this is near the end of the chapter, we can just have him not annoy anyone for half of the next chapter too!"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" the owl screamed, and then fainted again.

"Next and final dare! This one is from Starlll: **I want Zelda and Link to give their Triforce shards to Ganondorf for three days. Then he (Ganon) gives them back and has to knit the WORLD'S LARGEST DOYLE!**"

"Yes! Thank you!" Ganondorf said, clapping his hands gleefully as Zelda and Link pouted before handing over their Triforce pieces. "Yes! Now I have ultimate power! Muhahahahahaha!"

All the Zelda characters sighed as Ganondorf ran around the world, making everyone work for him with just minimum wages and no vacation time to speak of. During those three long days, everyone in the world was very miserable, except for Ganondorf. He spent most of his time in his newest castle, playing his giant organ and flying around in his private jet…which somehow fit into his newest castle…

Finally his three days were up, and so the man had to return the Triforce shards, along with the private jet, since he had actually stolen that from Zelda. "Now, knit the doily!" Zelda commanded, throwing some knitting needles at the man.

"Oh but, I was just about to fly to Paris and try their croissants!" Ganondorf protested sadly.

"Hey, that sounds like a good idea!" Link said cheerfully, and he and Zelda went instead, leaving Ganondorf to finish the rest of his dare.

"Stupid…dares…" Ganondorf grumbled as the sound of the needles clacking against each other filled the dark castle.

…two days later…

Link and Zelda, along with all the other Zelda characters, were enjoying a nice, relaxing ride on a gondola in Venice (well, as relaxing as one can get when everyone from the Zelda games were crammed into one tiny boat), when suddenly Ganondorf came running towards them, waving a giant doyle over his head. "I did it! The world's largest-" Before he could finish his sentence, however, he suddenly slipped and fell into the water. "Nooooooooo!" the man screamed as his creation was swept away.

"Oh well, keep working, Ganondorf!" Link called. "Come on everyone, who wants to go see the Great Pyramids!"

"Hooray!" shouted everyone else (except for Ganondorf, as he was still crying over losing the doily).

"Stupid dares!" he shouted as he began to knit all over again…

* * *

"Now then, since it's the end of the chapter, it's time for Link and Navi's game show!" Zelda said happily, and she promptly went marching off to her trailer to get her hair ready for the next chapter.

"Hey listen look!" Navi shouted excitedly.

"Ok everyone, it's time for… Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee! (The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule kindly made the name sound better, by suggesting we use 'the Owner', instead of 'an Owner'!). And we actually have a contestant!" Link said.

"Hooray!" shouted everyone else, except for Navi, who insisted on shouting 'hey look listen' instead.

"The contestant's name is Sott!" Link announced.

"Booooo!" booed the giant, annoying owl.

"That's considered being annoying, owl!" Link warned.

"Oh no! I forgot!" the owl screamed and then ran off into the growing darkness.

"Now then, are you ready to start the show, Sott?" Link asked.

But before Sott could even respond, Navi came flying in, shouting to listen, and carrying in large game show equipment, including buzzers.

"Just press the buzzer when you know the answer!" Link said cheerfully as he handed one to Sott, and kept one for himself. "As host of the show, I've decided that I'll participate too!"

"That's cheating!" Ganondorf shouted, still trying to knit the largest doily. "You already know the answers!"

"Yeah, whatever," Link said in a bored voice. "Now then, are you ready to play…Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!"

"Hooray!" Everyone shouted.

"Just get on with it already!" Zelda shouted from her trailer. "You're so loud!"

"Ok…First question!

What is the Princess of Hyrule's name?

Is it… a) Princess Zelda  
b) Helga Buttercup  
or, c) I Like Pie!" Link said happily. Before Sott could even think about pressing the buzzer, Link instantly hit his. "I know this one! Helga Buttercup!"

"You idiot!" Zelda shouted through her trailer's window.

"Listen!" Navi shouted, and she slammed her microphone over Link's head.

While all this was going on, Sott finally got the chance to answer. "Oh! I like pie too! Yay!" Sott shouted after hitting the buzzer.

"What!? None of you know my name?! I am so quitting!" Zelda screeched, and she slammed her window shut before making a very angry call to her agent.

"Yeah, pie is great…but it looks like we both got that answer wrong…" said Link with a small pout as Navi started to hit both contestants with her microphone for being wrong. "Well anyway, next question!" Link shouted, impatiently gesturing to Navi for the piece of paper that held the questions.

Link cleared his throat before continuing, "What is the magical land from the Zelda games called? Is it…

a) Soup!  
b) Hyrule  
or c) Watchoutheylistenlook"

"Hey!" Navi shouted, and she instantly grabbed the buzzer from Link before the two contestants could even react. "Watchoutheylistenlook!" she screamed excitedly into the microphone.

"Oh! So sorry, that's the wrong answer!" Link said cheerfully.

"Hey!" Navi shouted angrily, and she instantly began to hit Link again, this time with a large chair.

"Oh oh oh, I so know this one!" Sott said, slamming on the buzzer continuously.

"Yeah, go ahead," Link said calmly, straightening out his tunic while Navi quickly returned the chair.

"Uhmm... Wait, I know it! Uhh... B! Yeah, b! Whatever it is…"

"Is that your final answer?" Link asked in a bored voice.

"Uh…yes?" Sott said nervously. Instantly different colored lights began to flash, and the windmill guy from Ocarina of Time began to play his song, the Song of Storms. "Woot! I got it right! Go me!" Sott shouted excitedly. As the rain water began to pour down on everyone there, Link sulkily handed Sott a Golden Rupee. "Congrats, you got half of the questions right! You get the Golden Rupee! There you go. Now in different games that's worth different amounts, sometimes it's worth five hundred rupees, and other times it's worth less… But hey! You won the game show! That should be worth something…I don't see why we have to hand out these rupees and can't just keep them… But anyway, Sott is our first winner for the show!" Link shouted, still pouting over not getting anything himself.

"Hooray!" shouted everyone else, except for Navi, who, once again, shouted something completely different, and for Zelda, who shouted to be quiet already.

"Well thanks for coming, Sott, see you around!" Link said, and he shoved the winning contestant off of the stage. "Well that's it for today's game show! If anyone else would like to enter, just let us know! We also allow people who have already been here to return, as long as we don't have any new people requesting entrance first! Anyway, thanks for watching, and goodnight…or good day, depending on where you live…or-"

"Hey!" Navi shouted, and she quickly turned off the cameras before Link could continue his long and pointless speech.

* * *

**Well that's it for that chapter, what did you all think of it? Thanks again for sending in so many dares and questions, they were a lot of fun to answer! **

**And thanks to Sott for entering the game show! Let me know if you ever want to enter again. And if anyone else out there wants to be on the show, just say so and I'll send you the questions (which will be different next time, lol)! :-D**

**Anyway, thanks for reading everyone, and tell me if there was something in the chapter that you didn't like so I can change it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all the reviews! Sorry I took so long to get this one out... I had to write a speech about the secret lives of eels for school. I didn't even think they had a secret life...they just sort of sit around and eat stuff... But anyway, here's the next chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 3  
(which is actually the second chapter, since Chapter 2 was technically the first chapter, since Chapter 1 wasn't really a chapter)

"Yo yo yo, what's up, dawgs! My name be Vaati, and I'm the new host, since Zelda quit, because nobody remembered her name during the game show…" The little Minish, Vaati, said cheerfully through a large megaphone. He was sitting on a very high up ladder, so that nobody stepped on him.

"Who put you in charge?" Midna asked crossly.

Vaati glared down at the tall Twilight Princess, "We had a vote last night! I won!"

"I don't remember that!" Link shouted with a pout. "I like voting for things too!"

Ganondorf looked up from knitting the world's largest doily, which he was still trying to complete from the last chapter, "I don't remember anything from the past few days, except that I missed two stitches, and had to get rid of three whole rows to fix them!" the man sobbed.

"Whatever. I voted, and I was the only one who voted, so I won!" Vaati said smugly.

"You can't vote for yourself! …Can you?" Link asked curiously.

"Who cares! Let's get the truths and dares over with already!" Zelda snapped, exiting her trailer.

"How come nobody else has a trailer?" Ganondorf asked with a pout.

"Duh! I'm the princess of destiny!" she shrieked.

"Oh, right…"

"Anyways, let's get the show on the road!" Vaati said excitedly. "We've got a grand total of th-"

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!" Tingle started to shout suddenly.

"Uhh…why's he doing that?" Vaati asked.

"Because I made him do it for the drum roll last time," Zelda said, rolling her eyes at the still shouting man.

"Well make him stop, it's annoying!" Vaati said.

"Fine!" Zelda snapped. "Tingle, shut up!" She gasped in surprise when the man ignored her and continued to shout out his magic words.

Midna sighed, "Here, let me," she said, and she grabbed him with her super ninja twilight skillz and tossed him into Zelda's trailer.

"Noooooo!" Zelda screamed as Midna locked the trailer door shut. "What have you done!?" the princess shouted at Midna.

"I'll let him out later," Midna said in a bored voice, and then she walked off.

"Alrighty then! Today we have a grand total of three truths, and nine dares!" Vaati said happily.

"Hooray!" everyone shouted, but not as enthusiastically as they had been for the first chapter.

"Yo yo yo, check it out! This first question is from Sott and-"

"Sott," the giant, talking, annoying owl hissed. "My arch-enemy!"

"You're being annoying, owl," Link said in a bored voice.

The owl gave a high pitched scream and then went flying off.

"Now then," Vaati said, glaring at everyone before continuing to make sure that no one else would interrupt him. "Here's Sott's first question: **Link, Do you like Zelda, Saria, Malon or Ruto?**"

Everyone turned to look at an embarrassed Link. "Well…uh…I guess I might, possibly, maybe, not really, like Zel-"

"Don't even think about it!" Zelda screeched.

"Um…. . . . .can I have a hint?" Link asked.

"There's no hints! You just pick who you like!" Midna said grouchily.

"Fine!" Link snapped. He looked at the three choices left: Saria was laughing maniacally as she prepared her army of squirrels and rabbits to help her take over the world, Malon was still singing that short and repetitive song that she had been singing her whole entire life without showing any signs of stopping anytime soon, and Ruto was jumping up and down, waving her hands in the air with a sign that read 'Pick me! Pick me!', and in fine print it said that if he didn't pick her, she'd haunt him for all eternity. "Well, I guess I'll just go with Ruto then!" Link said, not wanting to be haunted by a fish the rest of his life.

"Yes! I won! Losers!" Ruto shouted, cackling loudly. "Are you going to buy me lots of expensive jewelry?" she asked Link.

"Uh…no?"

"Hmph!" Ruto instantly turned her back on Link and stalked off.

"Well, that went better than I thought it would!" Link said happily.

"I have a feeling it's not over yet, Link. Anyway, next question!" Vaati said, watching out of the corner of his eye as Ruto practiced throwing darts at a picture of Link's face, muttering angrily under her breath. "This next one is also from Sott! **Another one for the Owl: Why is he always in the place where Link is just arriving to? Why doesn't he annoy other people?**"

"Why why why? I have a question for you, why can't you just quit bothering me!" the owl said crossly. "Why do I keep bothering Link? I'll tell you why! Because he started it!"

"What? I did not!" Link protested.

"Did too! It all started a long time ago…

* * *

Flashback…

Little three years old Link was skipping through the Lost Woods, singing loudly, when suddenly he came across a large bird. "Hi Mister Owl!" Link shouted up at the bird.

"Hello there! My name is actually Kae-"

"My name ish Wink! I'm twee and a half!"

"Uh…good for you…" the owl said uncertainly. "Hey, I'm looking for my sweater, have you seen it anywh-"

"How old are you, Mister Owl?" Link shouted.

"Uh…nine hundred and-"

Before the owl could finish reciting his age, Link's eyes widened and then he began to laugh. "You're old!"

"What!? I am not!" the owl protested.

"Are too! You're the oldest owl evah!"

The giant owl ruffled his feathers indignantly, "You have no manners at all! Prepare to regret this day, Link! Hoot!" And with that, the owl flew off, leaving the laughing toddler behind.

End of Flashback.

* * *

"Oh come on, I don't even remember that!" Link shouted.

"Well I do!" the owl sniffed. "And I never could find my sweater, either…that's your fault too, you know! I was so upset over your rudeness, that I forgot to look for it!"

"Whatever," Link grumbled.

"Yo yo yo, man! You still have to answer the other part of the question!" Vaati said through his megaphone.

"What, how I'm always where Link is headed to before he even gets there? That's easy! I can see…the FUTURE!!"

"Or he just hears Navi shouting at me about where to go next over and over again…" Link grumbled under his breath.

"Moving on, dawgs!" Vaati said cheerfully. "This dare is from Sott: **Zelda, I dare you to dress in PANTS and a jacket and not get mad for the whole episode and the next episode.**"

"What!?" Zelda shouted. "But but but…I'm the princess of destiny! And I like my pretty dresses! And I like getting mad at people!" she screamed before crossing her arms and pouting.

"Finally!" Link said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Haha! You can't throw things at me for two whole chapters!"

Zelda stuck out her tongue at Link before grabbing the outfit that Vaati had handed her and marching towards her trailer. "Hey, Zelda, wait!" Midna shouted, but it was too late.

"Noooooooooooo!" Zelda screamed as Tingle came crashing outside the minute the door had been opened. Tingle took in a deep breath before shouting out his magic words over and over again, despite everyone's attempts to tell him that they didn't need a drum roll anymore.

"Wow, he sure takes his job seriously, doesn't he?" Midna commented casually.

"How can you stand his shouting!?" Link shouted at her, his hands tightly clasped to his ears.

"Earplugs," the Twili said simply, and then walked off.

Finally Zelda was finished getting changed, and so they were able to stuff Tingle back into the trailer and continue with the show. "I hate these shoes. And I hate these pants. And I hate this jacket," Zelda complained as she walked around in her jeans and long trench coat thing that I've always wanted, but never got…

"Now remember, no getting mad either, yo!" Vaati warned, and then looked down at his list of dares and questions. "Ok, check it out, yo! This next dare is from Lostwonder15: **Malon, I dare you to sing hard rock instead of Epona's song.**"

Malon, who had been in the middle of singing that very song, suddenly stopped short and started to cough and choke. "What!?" she shouted finally.

"And Ganondorf, this is also from Lostwonder15: **Ganon, I dare you to sing "I'm a Barbie girl" In front of EVERYONE! HA!**"

"Oh but, I'm still busy knitting!" Ganondorf protested.

"You can finish making the world's largest doily later, just get over here and start singing, yo!" Vaati shouted.

"Fine!" Ganondorf snapped.

"I can't sing hard rock!" Malon screamed. "I only know one song!"

"It's the dare, man, so start learning some new songs!" Vaati said, rolling his eyes.

"Fine!" Malon shouted, and she stomped over to a computer where Ganondorf was learning the Barbie Girl song.

…one hour later…

"Ok, and action!" Vaati shouted.

"Uh…" Malon began.

"You call that rocking out?!" Vaati shouted.

"No… Ok, here I go! Hard rock, Hard rock, I love hard rock! It's so…rocky…" Malon sang uncertainly to the tune of Epona's song.

"Cut cut cut, it's all wrong! That's not right at all! Next!" Vaati shouted.

Ganondorf came running up and cleared his throat before beginning his song, "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world! Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair-"

"Cut! You're freaking me out!" Vaati said. "Next!"

"I think that's it…" Malon said.

"Oh. Ok then! Next dare! This one is from keybladeboy, **Ruto: I dare you to give a friendly hug to Link, which nearly ends up suffocating him!**"

"But I don't like getting suffocated!" Link protested.

"I'm not hugging him, he didn't buy me jewelry!" Ruto shrieked before running off.

"Oooookay… This next dare is also from keybladeboy!" Vaati said cheerfully. "Well what do you know, this one is for the author, who is so lazy that she doesn't even read out the truths and dares and forces one of us to do it instead!"

"What?" Jane asked, looking up from her tv.

"You have a dare, yo!"

"Sweet!" Jane said excitedly. "Read it out!"

"Ok. **Jane: I dare you to read my Truth or Dare fic.**"

"Huh. Talk about advertising for your own story on somebody else's fic… Ok then, be right back!" Jane said cheerfully, and she went skipping off.

"While Jane is doing that, we'll do the next dare…Oh, this one sounds scary… Glad it's not for me!" Vaati said.

"Who's it for?" Zelda asked.

"You! It's from keybladeboy: **Zelda, I dare you to go to Silent Hill and do lots of stuff to attract attention from the "friendly" and "up-close" locals.**"

Zelda tossed her hair proudly, "I'm the princess of destiny! I'm always getting all the attention!" she scoffed.

"Ok then, good luck!" Vaati said, and he warped Zelda to a decaying city that was filled with fog.

"I can't see anything!" Zelda shrieked loudly. Suddenly a flashlight and a radio appeared in her hands, and the radio was constantly crackling. "Shut up, stupid radio!" Zelda shouted, slapping at the radio with her flashlight. When she finally looked up from the still crackling radio, she noticed a bunch of people were slowly surrounding her. "Oh, hello! I'm Zelda, the princess of destiny! Hmm, you people don't really look that good… Oh my gosh! Do you have a cold!? I don't wanna get sick!" Zelda screamed at the zombie-like people.

Fortunately for Zelda, Vaati warped her back to safety before the monsters could get to her. "Well it's about time!" Zelda snapped. "That stupid radio was giving me a headache!"

"You're not supposed to get mad, remember?" Vaati scolded.

"Oh…right. Hey, what's wrong with Link?" Zelda asked, pointing towards the hero as he hid behind Midna.

"There's no such things as Re-Deads, there's no such things as Re-Deads…" he mumbled under his breath.

"He's had some bad experiences with zombie guys…" Midna said, rolling her eyes at Link.

Suddenly Jane came back into the room, "Oh my gosh, I just love that little waffle guy, Batter! He's so cute!" Jane said, clapping her hands happily. "Too bad people keep eating him… anyway, get back to work, slackers!" Jane shouted at the Zelda characters before leaving.

Before Vaati could read out the next dare, the giant, talking owl suddenly began to cackle maniacally. "What's wrong with you, yo?" Vaati asked.

"It's been over half a chapter! I can finally be annoying again! Bwahahahahaha!"

"Good for you," Link grumbled, finally recovering from watching Zelda's dare.

"Hey, good thing you're here, owl dude, because this next dare is for you!" Vaati said cheerfully, snickering as he read the dare to himself.

"Goodie! Wait, it's not from Sott, is it?" the owl asked nervously.

"Nope! This one is from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!"

"Oh thank goodness!" the owl breathed a sigh of relief.

"**Kaepora Gaebora: I dare you to not be annoying for an extra chapter!**"

"Hey, somebody actually knows how to spell my name! …Wait, WHAT!?"

"Oh, so sorry, owl! Looks like you have to-" But before Vaati could finish his sentence, the owl fainted once again.

"Huh. Oh well! This next question is from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Helga Buttercu- er, Zelda: Which do you like better: Pancakes, or waffles?**"

"Oh come on! It's really not a hard name to remember! You got the stupid owl's name right!" Zelda shouted, pouting.

"Remember you're other dare, Zelda!" Vaati said in a warning tone.

"Um…I wasn't mad! Anyway, which do I like better…hmm… Well I'd say waffles, but after Jane's comment on feeling bad for some waffle being eaten, I guess I'll pick pancakes, so I don't get fired! But you know what makes a really good breakfast? Crepes, and pancakes, and waffles, and French toast, and some eggs, and some oatmeal, and grits, and some fresh fruit, and some dried fruit, all covered in maple syrup! Yum! I have that everyday! Well… I used to, until I got stuck doing this stupid show…" Zelda grumbled. "Now I'm stuck with just Lucky Charms every morning…"

"They're magically delicious!" Link protested, hugging the box of cereal protectively.

"Ok… Next!" Vaati said. "This is another dare from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Ganondorf: I dare you to sing and dance along with the first baby show that comes on tv!**"

"I told you already, I'm busy knitting the world's largest-"

"Would you just get over here, man!" Vaati shouted, plugging in a tv. "Now, here's the little kid channel, let's see what's on!"

"Fine," Ganondorf grumbled, sitting down in front of the large screen.

Finally, after many commercials advertising different types of clay that was, apparently, safe to eat, and fun to mold, a colorful cartoon started playing. "Doo doo doo, doo doo do Dorah! Doo doo doo, doo doo do Dorah! Doo doo doo, Dorah the Explorer!" Ganondorf sang along in a loud and out of tune voice, which had everyone else covering their ears, except for Midna, as she still had her earplugs on.

"Swiper no swiping!" Link shouted along with the little cartoon girl and monkey. "Yeah! We showed him!" Link turned to see everyone staring at him. "What? …It's a fun show…"

"Ok then… what else do we have?" Vaati asked, inching away from Link while Navi just hit the hero with the television (she was super strong for her size). "Oh hey, check it out, dawgs! That's it for today!"

"Hooray!" shouted Zelda and the giant, annoying, talking owl.

"And that means it's time for the game show!"

"Hooray!" Link shouted, clapping happily.

"Hey look listen!" Navi cheered, tossing the now broken tv outside.

* * *

"Hello everyone, and welcome to…Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!" Link said.

"Hooray!" Everyone in the audience shouted, except for Ganondorf, as he was too busy trying to complete the world's largest doily.

"Today's contestant is keybladeboy! Hi there, keybladeboy!"

". . . . . ."

"Ok…then let's get on with the show! Once you know the answer, just hit the buzzer!" Link said cheerfully.

". . . . . ."

"Ok then! Are you ready to play… Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!"

". . . . . ."

"…….. First question! In the Wind Waker, who is looking for Link in the beginning movie?

Is it…a) His sister, Aryll  
b) His evil step-brother who is bent on destroying the world  
or, c) A flying ice cream cone, which is also bent on destroying the world?"

Once again, Link quickly slammed on his own buzzer immediately after reading out the question. "And the answer is… c!"

"Hey!" Navi shouted angrily, which, when translated, said, "How could you not know this one!? The question is about one of the many Links!"

"Whatever, Navi," Link grumbled.

Keybladeboy stared at the two for a few seconds before tapping the buzzer, "A!"

"Hooray!" the audience shouted.

"Fine. Next question! In most of the Zelda games, what does the main boss usually do once Link gets up to him?

a) sleeps for five hours, then eats a ten course meal before doing some exercises for two hours, all the while making Link wait in his comfy waiting room which plays elevator music, which for some reason nobody likes to listen to…  
b) plays a mean air guitar  
c) goes into a long speech"

Keybladeboy instantly hit the buzzer, much to Link's dismay. "Oh but…I knew this one too!"

"Listen!" Navi scolded.

The contestant looked over at Ganondorf, who was currently showing off his air guitar skills to a group of extremely bored Gorons, and shouted out the letter B.

Instantly lights started flashing and the windmill guy started to play the Song of Storms again. "Wait wait wait, that wasn't even the right answer!" Link shouted over the pouring rain.

"He still got half of the questions right!" Zelda called out from under her giant umbrella.

"Fine," Link said with a pout. "I guess I don't get to keep this rupee either. Here you go, congratulations on winning," Link grumbled, handing over the Golden Rupee to the contestant. "Come again, sometime, goodbye!" Link shouted, and he shoved Keybladeboy off of the stage, just when he had been about to start his victory dance.

"Our next contestant (if she still wants to come anyway), is The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! Stay tuned, and goodnight! Or good day, depending on where you liv-" Once again, Navi turned off everything by means of a giant sledgehammer before Link could finish talking.

* * *

**So this chapter was scary to write! Mainly because I had to remember my days of playing Silent Hill for this one... I say days, not because that's how long it took me to finish the game, but because that's how long it took me to finally give in and hide behind my chair while letting my brother take over. Then he lasted a whopping ten minutes, before we decided that scary games just aren't for us, lol. **

**Anyways, the next chapter might be an even longer wait, because my cousin is getting married, and, apparently, I'm one of the bridesmaids. I just found that out yesterday (my family isn't exactly organized, lol), and the wedding's this week**, **so we're sort of in a rush to find proper clothes...so, yeah...**

**So I hoped you liked this chapter, and let me know if there's anything you want me to change!**

**Oh, and thanks to keybladeboy for entering the game show! See y'all later!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yikes! So sorry for taking so long to get this one out! I didn't have any chance at all to write anything last week. In answer to Starlll's question, the wedding was actually last Friday (and who made fun of Artemis Fowl!? Let me at 'em!!). Nobody came to the rehearsal though except for me and one other bridesmaid, and so we were all busy telling everyone else what they had to do. And then the groomsmen were just hanging out with the groom, at the ALTAR no less, so we had to send somebody to bring them back to where they were supposed to be. And nobody was listening to anyone, and my cousin had to run around to find the people she needed, while making sure the groom didn't see her! It was really confusing... Anyways, on with the chapter! Thanks for all the truths and dares! There's also some spoilers for Ocarina of Time in this one, and maybe a few for Wind Waker. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!  
**

**Also, thanks to Starlll for letting me use one of her characters! I'll get him back to you as soon as possible, lol.**

* * *

Chapter 4  
(so many dares!)

"Hey, what up dawgs! It's your host, Vaati!"

"Boooo!" booed Zelda, only to receive an angry glare in response.

"Now, today we have a total of something dares, and something truths! Jane was too lazy to count them this time around..."

"Hooray," everyone said uncertainly.

"Ok! This first dare is from Senom299()!"

"Oh good, somebody new! Maybe he won't be mean to me!" the owl said miserably.

"Be quiet owl, your voice annoys me!" Zelda said cheerfully.

"Ok, dawgs, here's the first dare!** Navi and Tingle: I dare you to have a battle to the DEATH(for 2 chapters) and the winner has to shut up until the loser comes back!**"

"Hey listen hey watch out hey!"

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!"

"Ready dawgs? And fight!" Vaati shouted excitedly through his megaphone, jumping up and down on his ladder.

Navi and Tingle stared at each other for a while before Tingle suddenly pulled Navi into a big hug. "Tingle loves fairies!!"

"Hey! Watch out! Hey!" Navi shouted, hitting Tingle continually with the Master Sword that she had 'borrowed' from Link.

"Wow, this is a really tense battle, yo!" Vaati said.

Suddenly Ganondorf came running in, his eyes completely bloodshot. "I DID IT!!" the man shouted before laughing maniacally.

"Did what?" Link asked, searching for his sword.

"I COMPLETED THE WORLD'S LARGEST DOILY! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Whoa, calm down there, dawg…" Vaati said nervously.

"Well it took you long enough!" Zelda snapped. "That was like, one of your first dares!"

"I did it! I did it!" Ganondorf shouted, dancing around the room with his doily.

"Watch out!" Navi's shout brought everyone's attention back to the fight between the fairy and Tingle.

"Yo yo yo, dawg! That's my ladder!" Vaati screamed as Navi suddenly grabbed the wooden ladder and started to whack Tingle with it. "Noooooo!" Vaati yelled as he fell down to the floor. Instantly he was forced to run around the room and dodge all the people who were running around and betting on who would win the fight.

Vaati quickly ran over to Link, who was still searching for his Master Sword, and climbed up onto his head. "Hey, get off!" Link shouted, trying to throw Vaati off by running around in a mad panic.

"Quit moving around so much, yo! I'm trying to do my show here!"

"Fine," Link grumbled miserably. Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound. Link and Vaati turned sharply to see what was going on, only to see that both Navi and Tingle had fallen through the window. The two cautiously peered over the edge to find Tingle holding onto the windowsill, with Navi still hitting him with her ladder. "Well…good luck with that!" Link said, and he went running off with Vaati holding on to Link's green hat.

"Next dare, yo! This one is also from Senom299()! **Ganon, Zelda and Ilia: I hate all 3 of u except for Sheik, DO TEH CAN-CAN!**"

"But I am Sheik!" Zelda protested. "Therefore, I am exempted from the dance!"

"You don't look like Sheik," Ilia said.

"I can't believe somebody hates me! I'm such a nice guy!" Ganondorf wailed.

"…No you aren't," Link and Ilia said at the same time.

"Can we please get back to me!" Zelda shouted before smiling sweetly. "Now, like I was saying, I am-"

"You aren't Sheik right now, so start dancing, yo!" Vaati shouted through the megaphone, forcing Link to cover his ears.

So Ilia, Zelda, and Ganondorf started to dance to the can-can music, still wondering how someone could actually hate them.

"Ok, while they're doing that, let's move on!" Vaati said as everyone else quickly ran into another room, leaving the three dancers all by themselves. "Another dare from Senom299()!** Link: transform into a wolf and bite Ilia and Ganon.**"

"I can't, they're dancing! They might kick me by accident!" Link argued as Vaati quickly climbed onto Midna's head instead while she changed Link into a wolf, grinning evilly.

"Bye Link!" Midna said cheerfully. The large wolf growled at her as she tossed him into the other room before quickly slamming the door shut.

"Awwwww, a cute little puppy!" Ilia squealed, while still dancing. "I love puppies!"

"Uh…Ilia?" Zelda said uncertainly, "That's not really a puppy…"

"Give a hug!" Ilia screeched, and she immediately stopped dancing and grabbed poor Link. Wolf Link gave a warning growl, and then, when she didn't stop hugging him, gave her a quick bite on the hand. "Owwww!" she screamed, instantly releasing Link. "No! Bad puppy! Bad!" Ilia shouted, starting to hit Link on the head with a newspaper.

Link sighed before walking over to Ganondorf, who was still dancing along with Zelda. "Uh…hi?" Ganondorf asked uncertainly as Link continued to just stare at him. "Owwww! Bad puppy!" the man shouted as Link quickly bit Ganondorf as well.

"Hahahahaha! Losers!" Zelda shouted as Link went prancing off to the other room. "He likes me!"

"Yo yo yo, check it out! Here's another one from Senom299()!** Midna: I LUV U-wait that isn't even a question…**" Vaati read.

Midna clapped happily, "Aww, thanks! Muhahaha! Yet another fan to add to my army, called the Army of Fans!"

"What are you going to do with an army of fans?" Saria scoffed. "My army of squirrels will totally pawn your army of fans! Ahhahahahaha!"

"I will take over the world and- one minute Link!" Midna shouted at the wolf, who was constantly prodding her to get her to change him back. "And I'm also going to take over all of the world's best ice cream places! I said to wait, Link!" Link sighed and then trotted off, wondering when Midna would remember about him.

While Saria and Midna were arguing over whose army was better, Vaati jumped back over to Link before reading out the next review thing. "Ok, yo! This one is from Lostwonder15! **Owl: I dare you to Duck tape your mouth(beak whatever) and everyone in the show has to rip it off!**"

"Why does the world hate me so!?" the owl wailed as Midna and Saria instantly stopped arguing and worked together to find the duck tape, cackling maniacally.

"Well, since Link is still a wolf, and Tingle and Navi are still fighting, and Ganondorf, Ilia, and Zelda are still dancing, and the author doesn't really feel like writing out every single Zelda character's name out, it looks like just me, Midna, and Saria get to do this dare!" Vaati said cheerfully, pulling on Link's ears to get him to move.

"Ouchies!" the owl said as they tore the duck tape off.

"Well that was short… I say we just tape his beak shut and leave it that way for awhile!" Midna said casually.

"Works for me!" Saria said happily.

"Ok, next!" Vaati said This is a question from Lostwonder15! **Navi: Do you know the English language?**"

"Hey!" Navi shouted, flying into the room from out of nowhere. "Listen! Watch out! Hey! Look! Listen!"

"She's working on it…" Link said (did I forget to mention that Midna had just changed him back? My bad!). Navi then spun around in the air for awhile before going back to hitting Tingle with Vaati's ladder.

"And another dare from Lostwonder15! **And finally...ME! I dare myself to go on your game show!**"

"Well, that's new," Zelda commented.

"Hey, where'd you come from?" Link asked.

"Well the dare didn't specify how long we should dance, so we just kept going until we collapsed!" the princess of destiny said cheerfully.

Suddenly, there was an incredible and surprise guest appearance! Jane O'Callaghan! "Boooooo!" shouted everyone.

"Hey everyone, just wanted to tell you all that I have a new idea to get questions to people who are either having trouble with emails, or are anonymous and forget to give me something to reply to them with… I'll just post a special chapter with the questions, and then you can send in your answers with a review. This might annoy people who have this fic on their alert thing, but it won't be all the time anyway…Besides, it'll keep you guessing! Anyway, on with the chapter! I'll explain this better at the end of the chapter."

"Boooooo!" everyone shouted again as Jane went running off.

"Ok, this next dare is from Starlll! **Ganon: Just finish the doyle and you'll be fine.**"

"Oh…uh… Does that mean that if I did finish it I'm not fine!?" Ganondorf asked in a scared voice. "Oops, I think I might've made a mistake on it…got to go work on it some more!"

"Right…" Vaati said, rolling his eyes at the man. "Here's another dare from Starlll!" The Minish started to unroll a large scroll that was filled with dares. "Wow, there's a lot here! Ok, let's get these started, yo! **Malon: Let all the horses on Lon-Lon free.**"

"Nevah! Muhahahaha!" Malon shouted. Unfortunately for her, she accidentally unlocked the gate and opened it, and then held it open long enough for all the horses to escape. "Nooooooooo! My horses!" Malon screamed. Everyone else began to scream as well when the large stampede came charging towards them. Link and Midna managed to get them to change course, however, by throwing sugar cubes in the opposite direction. So instead, they stampeded right over to the middle of Hyrule Field and trampled over Tingle and Navi, who had been in the middle of throwing bombs at each other. "**Link: bury Navi under three feet of dirt.**"

"That sounds like it'll be hard…" Link said, peering out of the window and watching as Navi continually threw a bunch of boomerangs at Tingle, who was just dancing around.

"Get going, yo!" Vaati shouted, and he, with the help of a very willing Midna, shoved Link out into the battle field.

"Navi, oh Navi!" Link called out over the loud explosions of bombs.

"Hey!" Navi called back happily, having a large amount of fun trying to kill Tingle.

"I need to bury you under three feet of dirt!"

"Listen?" Navi asked curiously, instantly ceasing her attacks.

"No…not like the last time where you ended up burying me…" Link said, pouting slightly as the other Zelda character's snickering reached his ears.

"Look!" Navi shouted angrily, and she started to throw her bombs at Link instead, giving Tingle the perfect chance to escape, which, of course, he didn't take.

"Navi, it's just the dare! Don't take it personally!" Link shouted as he ran around, dodging all of the bombs.

"Hey hey, watch out, hey!"

* * *

…two hours later…

"You don't look so good, Link," Midna said casually as she sat down next to where he was almost completely buried under the ground. Only his head was sticking out.

"Thanks…Midna…" Link grumbled.

"Listen!" Navi said happily, and then she went back to attacking Tingle, who was currently dancing the can-can.

"Another dare (still from Starlll)!" Vaati said from his ladder, which he had somehow managed to get back. "**Navi: go FOUR chapters without talking.**"

"Hey!" Navi shouted angrily, which, when translated, said, "Hey!" in a protesting manner.

"**Zelda: (spoiler to ocarina of time AVERT YOUR EYES) Change into Sheik, and Sheik: Give another speech on Friendship and blah blah blah.**"

"Ok!" Zelda said happily, and she instantly changed into a Sheikah. "Ahha! Now instead of giving a speech on friendship, I think I'll sing a song instead!" Sheik said. He/she cleared his/her throat before bursting into song, "You are my friend, you are special! F-R-I-E-N-D special! In the-"

Suddenly, there was another special guest appearance by Jane!

"Boooooo!"

"Hiya! Just wanted to add that I do not own Mr. Roger's Neighborhood either… continue!"

"Booooooo!"

"Now I just don't feel like singing anymore!" Sheik snapped, and he/she went stomping off.

Vaati rolled his eyes before reading the next dare from Starlll, "Tetra: let anyone go onto your ship without arguing."

Silence.

"Uh…hey, dawgs, where's Tetra at?"

"She's sailing the seven seas and looking for treasure," Link answered, brushing some dirt off of his tunic.

"Oh…well call her already and let her know her dare, yo!"

"Does it look like we have cell phones yet!?" Link snapped.

"Fine! We'll let her know later!" Vaati said with a pout. "Oh hey, here's a dare for the author!"(que sentence about guest star appearance, and Zelda characters booing).

"Woot! Another dare for me! How exciting!"

"**Jane O' Callaghan: host your next three episodes on Tetra's ship!**"

"Oooooo, I like it! We'll start now! To the seven seas!"

* * *

…At one of the seven seas…

"Arrrrrr, I be Tetra! And if you land lubbers want to come on my ship, you've got to be talking like a pirate! I don't care about no stinking dare! If you don't talk like a pirate, then you ain't comin' on! Arrrr! And besides, today's Talk like a Pirate Day!" Tetra said happily to all the Zelda characters that were currently lined up on the deck of her ship.

"Actually, that was a few days ago…" Link said as he examined his pocket calendar/organizer/anything else that was handy that you could put on pocket sized paper.

Before Link could even react, Tetra's sword was pointed right at him. "Arrr, on my ship, everyday be Talk like a Pirate Day!"

"Ok ok! Everyday's Pirate Day! Got it! Uh…Arrr?"

"Arrrr!" Tetra said in agreement, and she put her sword away, much to Link's relief. "Now then, set sail, everyone! We be off to find the treasure! Arrr!" The pirate captain/princess of destiny under cover stared at her new crew in disgust when they all sat down and started to set up a picnic lunch. "Oy, land lubbers! I was talking to you!"

"What!?" Ganondorf shouted around his sandwhich.

"Oh no no no no!" Zelda/Sheik said anxiously. "We don't do that sort of thing… You see, we do dares! And sometimes we answer questions… and-"

"Set up the darn sail!" Tetra shouted. "Arrrrr!"

"Ok, ok, setting up the sail!" Link said quickly, and soon everyone was trying to figure out how they were supposed to do that.

Tetra sighed, "This is going to be a long trip…"

Finally the ship was sailing across the sparkling, blue water, and so the characters could get back to doing what they did best. "Ok dawgs, check it! Another dare from Starlll!"

"How many did that person send!?" Ganondorf shouted.

Everyone else just glared at him until he was quiet. "Now then, yo! Here we go! **The owl dude: Become friends with a seagull**."

"What!? But seagulls are so arrogant!" the owl protested. He glared up at one of the many seagulls that were flying alongside the ship. The small bird stared back at the owl with its beady black eyes, as if taunting him. "I don't wanna talk to him!" the owl wailed.

"Just make friends already," Zelda/Sheik said, rolling her/his eyes.

"Fine…" the owl took off and was soon flying next to the seagull he had been previously staring at. "Hello there! My name is Kae-"

"Squawk!" the seagull shouted, and soon the owl was being attacked by the entire flock of birds.

"I told you!" the owl shouted from inside the cloud of white feathers.

"Well…next!" Vaati said happily. "**Minda: become an imp and kiss ganon. just DON'T INTTERUPT HIM FROM THE DOYLE!**"

Midna gasped, "I'll do no such thing!"

"Yeah, girls are gross!" Ganondorf said. "They've got cooties!"

Ilia gave a disgusted sigh, "You're so immature. Just like Link, who would rather bite people instead of just kindly asking them to stop hugging him!" she said, glaring icily at Link, who sighed and placed his chin in his hands.

"Oooookay… next dare I guess!" Vaati said. "**Dora the Explorer: jump off the ship and into shark infested waters**. **Boots: coat yourself in BRQ sauce and follow Dora into the sharks**."

"Doo doo doo, doo doo do Dora! Doo doo doo, doo doo do Dora! Doo doo doo, Dora the Explorer!" Dora sang loudly as she and her pet monkey friend came marching onto the ship.

"Arrrr, how'd you landlubbers get onboard!?" Tetra shouted from the crow's nest.

"We used the map! Map map map!"

"She reminds me of Navi…I don't know why," Link said.

"We need to get Tiger Cub to his mama! Do any of you remember where we have to go next?" Dora asked, looking out into space for some reason. "We walked over the bridge, went onto the boat, and now we need to swim through shark infested waters!"

"Ah bueno!" the monkey said happily. "Hey, I think I'll put some barbecue sauce on me, so that I can float!"

"Oh good idea, Boots!" Dora said, still staring at nothing with those creepy wide eyes. "Here we go!" they both shouted, and then they jumped into the water, completely oblivious to the fact that Tiger Cub had found his own way home hours ago.

"Wow…that was weird," Ganondorf said.

"…Next!" Vaati shouted. "**Vaati: Why is your picture on the Knight's crest? (Wind Waker)** Yes! I have a question to answer! Finally! And the answer is… Huh. I didn't even notice that… Well I guess it would just be because I am totally awesome, and I amaze everyone with my awesome awesomeness! Now then, next!** Mudd: Be a cohost for the next three episodes**."

"Who the heck is Mudd!?" Midna asked.

"I'm Mudd!" said a person, who was a quarter Zora, and three/fourths something else. His hair was black, and didn't look as if it was ever combed. He had tattoos of a tarantula on his wrists, and two knives were strapped to his side. There was also a large bow on his back, which made Link quickly hide his Hero's Bow, since it was smaller and not as cool. "Ahha! I'm Starlll's creation, from Starlll's story, His Name is Mudd! I like lakes, Zoras, Ritos, the crescent moon, and…Tetra…I think. But I'm not sure…"

"Arrrrrr, well I'm not sure if I like you either!" Tetra snapped before running off to hide in her room that was being guarded by one of her fellow pirates.

"Anyway, I hate Gerudos," Mudd continued, ignoring Ganondorf as he burst into tears, "People forgetting how to spell my name, Tingle, and salt water!"

"Uh…Mudd?" Saria said hesitantly.

"Yes?" Mudd asked.

"You're on a ship that's sailing through the ocean…"

"Ack! I'm burning! And melting! Meeeeelting!" Mudd shouted.

After that crisis was resolved by handing Mudd an oxygen mask, the thief person continued. "So anyway, I'm here to be cohost, like Starlll said!"

Vaati glared suspiciously at him, "Yo, just don't go trying to take over my job as host!"

"Whatever," Mudd said, trying to hold in his evil laughter.

"Ok, still doing Starlll's review! **Tingle: tw**-"

"I want to read it!" Mudd whined.

Vaati was about to protest this when Jane appeared out of nowhere and gave him a warning glare. "Fine…here," Vaati grumbled as he handed Mudd the large scroll.

"Ok! **Tingle: two words: go crazy.**"

Instantly Tingle appeared, with Navi still throwing her boomerangs at him. "Tingle is already crazy! …But Tingle will be even more crazy for you, wonderful reviewer!" Tingle said, and he then jumped into the water and joined Dora and Boots, who were currently battling the sharks with their talking backpack, map, and giant rocket launcher (bet none of you saw that episode! Muhahaha!).

"Ok, it looks like that's it for Starlll!" Mudd said.

"Yeah whatever, dawg. I get to read the next dare though!" Vaati said, sticking his small, Minish tongue out at Mudd as he opened up the next review. "Yo yo yo, check it out! It's Sott again!"

"Booooo!" the owl shouted, having managed to escape from the seagulls long ago.

"Check it out, dawg! **This is for my arch-enemy Kapoeira or whatever-his-name-is… the talking owl. Who do you hate more, Link or Sott? Muhahahahah!**"

The owl sighed, "So far, only one of you people have gotten my name right! Well let me think…Sott, of course! In fact, you better watch your back next time you come here for the game show!" the owl narrowed his eyes angrily, "'Cause I'll be there…when you least suspect it…"

"Ok, man, quit making empty threats," Vaati said, pouting as he handed the next dare for Mudd to read out.

"I am not!" the owl whined before stomping off, completely forgetting that he was on a boat.

"This dare is from Sott!" Mudd said happily as the owl fell into the water. "**Tingle can't say magic words all chapter and has to dress in a tutu with a flower hat.**"

Once again, Tingle appeared instantly, along with Navi, who was now hitting him with a shark. "But…Tingle loves his magic words!" Tingle protested. "And Tingle is already wearing a tutu and a flower hat!" Everyone turned to look, and sure enough, the strange man already was wearing the specified clothes.

"You're weird!" Mudd said.

"Yes, yes he is," Vaati said, not even noticing when Mudd grabbed the next dare, which also happened to be from Sott.

"**Saria has to set all her army free and can't laugh maniacally for 3 chapters. MUAHHAHAHAHAHA!**"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Saria screamed. "Me and Midna are having our armies fight it out to see which is better!"

"Hahahaha! I win!" Midna shouted as Vaati released all the squirrels and rabbits. "Fans totally pawn rabbits!"

"Noooooo!"

"Another dare from Sott!" Vaati said, glaring at Mudd as he tried to steal this dare as well. "**Talon and Ingo will have to eat mushrooms till they grow 3 times their size and then eat a flower to change colors.**"

"What in tarnation!?" Talon shouted, just waking up.

Ingo and Talon shrugged before tossing some strange colored mushrooms into their mouths. Instantly a cute little Mario song started in (I don't own Mario either) and the two started to grow at an incredibly fast rate. "I'm super strong! Now Lon Lon Ranch will be mine!" Ingo shouted.

"Arrrrr, you foolish landlubbers be too heavy!" Tetra shouted. "You be sinking the ship!"

"What in tarnation!?" Talon shouted again as Tetra shoved both him and Ingo off of the ship.

"Here, dawgs, eat these too!" Vaati called out to them, tossing them some flowers.

"Yum!" Ingo said happily as he and Talon swallowed these as well. In just a few seconds they were wearing red and white clothes, and had the ability to shoot fireballs from their hands. "Hey! I'm…a mage!" Ingo shouted while the World of Warcraft theme song started to play (nope, don't own that either :-D).

"What in tarnation!"

"Ok, dawgs, last review!" Vaati said.

"Oh thank goodness! I'm tired!" Sheik complained as she/he helped pull a now back to normal Talon and Ingo.

"Daddy daddy! You were a giant!" Malon screamed in his ear.

"What in tarna-"

"This question is from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule, yo!** Princess Melda: How do you feel about Vaati stealing your job?**"

Link snickered, "Melda…"

Zelda/Sheik/Melda glared at Link before answering, "Well… first off, it's Zelda! ZELDA!! You see it on every single game cover! The legend of ZELDA! And I don't really care who's hosting this stupid fic! Vaati will probably lose his position anyway…" the princess leaned forward conspiratorially, "I hear Mudd is planning something big!"

"I heard that, yo!" Vaati shouted, glaring at both Zelda and Mudd, who was smiling innocently.

"I wanna read the next one!" Mudd shouted.

"Fine…" Vaati grumbled.

"Another one from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Ganondorf: After you finish knitting the world's largest doily, I dare you to sew the world's girliest dress, then wear it for an entire chapter!**"

"Oh come on! I just finished the stupid doily, now I have to work on something else!?" Ganondorf shouted. "Fine! But since I'm making it, I get to pick the color! And I pick blue!"

"It has to be girly, you have to make it pink!" Ilia shouted impatiently. "Because everyone knows that pink is the prettiest color evah!"

"I want a blue dress!" Ganondorf screamed.

"Well…this is different," Vaati said. "Next! This dare is also from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!"

"I want to read that one too!" Mudd shouted over Ganondorf and Ilia's argument about which color to use for the dress.

"Fine!" Vaati snapped.

"**Midna: I dare you to stop wearing earplugs and listen to everyone's shouting!**"

Midna, who had just been watching all the fights going on with amusement, glared at Mudd. "But I…um… I like my ear plugs!"

"That's the best excuse you could come up with?" Link asked.

"…Yes?"

"Too bad, yo! Hand 'em over!" Vaati said.

With a pout, Midna pulled out her earplugs and scowled at everyone who was still shouting.

"Pink!"

"Blue!"

"Pink!"

"Blue!"

"Tingle really wants to say his magic words! Why can't Tingle say them!?"

For the first time in history, Navi didn't say anything.

"Pink!"

"Blue!"

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Midna screamed. "I can't take it!" And with that she jumped overboard and went swimming off.

"Arrrr, man overboard!" Tetra shouted before leaping gracefully into the water and dragging Midna back, despite the Twili's protests. As soon as the two girls were back onboard, Midna immediately ran into that one giant storage room that was down below and hid in one of the many barrels, trying to block out all the loud noises.

"Ok, and…that's it!" Mudd said cheerfully.

"Hooray!" Everyone shouted, and they all ran down below as well and started to throw the barrels around for no particular reason. Poor Midna was tossed out of her barrel, and so she shot herself out of the ship's cannon instead and went flying off to who knows where.

"Time for our game show!" Link said happily.

* * *

"Today's contestant is The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!" Link shouted through his microphone as Navi struggled to fit all of the game show equipment on the narrow ship.

"Hi everyone!" The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule said, waving happily and easily dodging Navi as she flew back and forth with long strings of different colored lights.

"Welcome to…Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!" Link said.

"Hooray!" the audience shouted from the giant storage room below (there was no room on the deck for them).

"Are you ready for your first question?" Link shouted, passing out the buzzers.

Before he could even react, Mudd came charging in and grabbed the hero's buzzer thing, "I wanna play!" Mudd whined.

"No! It's my game show!" Link screamed, trying to get his buzzer back. "I say who plays, and I say that I play!"

"But but but…I'm a special guest! You have to be nice, or I'm telling!" Mudd said smugly.

"What!? But…oh, fine!" Link said miserably as he trudged over to where Navi was wrapping up Sheik in all the lights.

"Hahahaha! I'm glowing!" Sheik said excitedly, clapping his hands.

"Oh, what's this?" Link asked as he pulled out a plank of wood from the ship's side, much to Tetra's dismay. "I found another buzzer!" Link shouted before cackling maniacally.

"That's not a buzzer…" Mudd said, causing Link's laughter to instantly cease.

"Well I say it is!" Link said, and he joined the contestants at the other side of the ship, sticking his tongue out at Mudd.

"Ok then, first question!" Link read outloud, "Who is usually the main antagonist (aka, the bad guy) in the Zelda games?

a) A cool clicky pen  
b) Malon  
c) Ganondorf"

Instantly all three hit their buzzers (Link actually just continually slammed his wooden board against his head). "I heard my buzzer go off first!" Link said smugly. "And I say that the answer is A!"

"I was going to say that too!" Mudd protested.

"Hahahaha! I beat you!" Link shouted as Navi started to hit both him and Mudd with her microphone, once again upset that someone had gotten it wrong. "What do you have to say about that!?" Link asked, looking at The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule.

"Well I think the answer is Malon! I mean look at her!" The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule said, pointing at Malon, who was currently summoning a large army of skeletal minions.

"Creepy…" Mudd commented as they watched her.

"Well according to this, C is the right answer," Link said, looking at his cheat sheet, which Mudd quickly stole.

"Why does everyone think I'm evil!?" Ganondorf wailed, still trying to create his dress without Ilia noticing that he had swapped the pink fabric with blue.

"'Cause you are…" Saria said casually.

"Fine."

"Ok, next question!" Link shouted. "In the Ocarina of Time, what is the musical instrument that Link receives from Princess Zelda?

a) A large drum set  
b) An ocarina, called the Ocarina of Time  
c) A rubber band, which required Link to stretch between two fingers while plucking it with another finger."

"Ahha! I know this one!" Mudd shouted as he and the other two contestants started to slam on their buzzers once again.

"I heard mine go off first!" Link shrieked over all the noise. "I say the answer is-"

"A! It's A!" Sheik shouted, interrupting Link.

"…Really?" Link asked in a confused voice.

"Trust me!" Sheik shouted, still trying to untangle himself/herself from all the lights that Navi had wrapped around him/her.

"Ok…A it is!" Link said happily.

Navi glared at Link, and then at Mudd when she realized that the thief had fallen asleep out of sheer boredom from waiting for his turn to answer. The poor little guy was instantly woken up when the tiny fairy threw Link straight at Mudd, and then began to smack both of them with a five pound fish.

"Um…Can I answer now or what?" The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule asked cautiously as Mudd and Link ran around in a mad panic.

"Ok…go ahead!" Link shouted from his hiding place inside one of the cannons.

"B!" The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule shouted over Link's panicked shouted when he realized that Navi was lighting the fuse. Immediately after the cannon fired, and Link joined Midna at wherever she was at, the lights that were still wrapped around Sheik began to flash, and the windmill guy started his Song of Storms (which got Tetra confused again, as she had no idea how all these people were able to get onboard when there were no islands nearby).

"Congratulations, The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! You got a Golden Rupee!" Mudd said.

"Hooray!" shouted the audience, even though they couldn't see what was going on.

"Wow! Thanks! I'd like to thank everyone that's helped me get this far!" The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule instantly pulled out a long list of names and glared warningly at Mudd as he tried to take back the shiny rupee. "I'd like to start with-"

"Yeah yeah, that's great," Mudd said, and he shoved The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule off of the stage, which also happened to be the ship. "Oops…" Mudd said nervously as the contestant disappeared into the horizon, still reading from her list of people to thank. "Well, that's that!" Mudd said, stealing Sheik's umbrella.

"Hey…" Sheik said slowly, taking a few minutes to realize what had happened.

"And next time, we're getting someone else to do the winning song, because 1: Everyone's tired of getting wet, and 2: I said so! And I am Mudd, host of…uh…cohost of… whatever this fic is called… Hooray for me! And for those of you who haven't yet… check out the story that I star in! His Name is Mudd, by Starlll! It just started, but it's really funny! Jane hasn't gotten around to sending a review yet, mainly because she's just so darn lazy, but she's working on it! Anyway, see you all next chapter!"

* * *

**Whew! Long chapter! I hope this one made sense... My brothers claim it was too confusing and hectic, so if there was anything there that seemed confusing, just let me know so I can fix it! **

**And as for what I was saying before about the game show... if anyone is having trouble with emails or something, or if they wish to remain completely anonymous, they can request to have their questions posted in this fic as a special chapter. Then they can just PM me the answers, or review the answers, or whatever. **

**Ok, so I'm pretty sure that I have the right order of who enters the game show when... Next chapter will be Sott again, since he asked to reenter way back at chapter 2 (...ok, not that far back...), then next will be Senom299(), and then Lostwonder15. I hope I remembered everyone, but if you asked to enter earlier and you don't see your name there, let me know so that I can try to find when you asked.**

**And...a bit of sad news... I'm going to be super busy for the next few months, so I think I'm going to end this fic soon... really sorry! I mainly just wanted to see what fics like this were like, and I have to say, though it's fun, it's not really my thing... It's sort of suspenseful having to come up with funny answers for everything in a timely manner, lol. So...yeah...sorry again. I will do at least three more chapters so that the three people who wanted to enter the gameshow won't feel left out, but I won't be accepting any new entry requests. Sorries!  
I also had a sudden vision for what to write next for another fic, so I kind of want to concentrate on that more... (ok fine, I just renewed my World of Warcraft acount and am desperatly trying to get a flying mount before my friend does, lol). Anyway... What else do I have to say... I don't have any new game show questions right now, so I'll hopefully make some up by tommorrow for you, Sott. And Senom299(), a special chapter with your questions will be posted sometime after chapter 5 is up, unless you give me something to email you with. Lostwonder15, just let me know if you want a special chapter too! ...And that's it! Thanks for reading, everyone! :-) And thanks, The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule, for entering the game show!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Bwahahaha, got this one up before a week passed! Woot! Thanks for reviewing, y'all are the best!**

* * *

Chapter 5  
New Hosts

"Yo yo yo, what up daw-"

"Vaati Vaati! You've been fired!" Link shouted, racing into the storage room on Tetra's ship, where everyone else was already gathered.

"What!?" Vaati shouted.

"Jane fired you, because you got one of the reviewer's names wrong…twice!"

Both Midna and Zelda started to snicker at the shocked expression on Vaati's face.

"But I…but…" the Minish began to stutter.

"Who's the new host? Who who who?" Mudd asked excitedly, jumping up and down.

"According to this…" Link said, looking at a piece of paper. "Uh…"

"Well, don't keep us waiting, arrr!" Tetra shouted from way up in the crow's nest.

"It's me!" Link said, staring at the paper in surprise.

"Hmph!" Mudd said, pouting and crossing his arms.

"Yay for you, can we please move on now?" Midna asked as Vaati marched out of the room to sulk.

"Ok then! I'm you're host, Link!" Link shouted, striking a majestic pose. He pouted when the only sound that reached his ears was a bunch of crickets chirping.

"Bugs!" Malon screamed, and she went running off.

"Ok, first dare!" Link said. "This one is from Lostwonder15. **Ilia: I dare you to hug Tingle.**"

"Ewwwwwwwww!" Ilia shouted as she watched Tingle dance around the room, still dressed in his flower hat and pink tutu.

"Listen!" Navi shouted, finally able to talk, as she chased after Tingle with a bunch of bombs.

"Do the dare!" Link screeched.

"Fine!" Ilia snapped at him, and she went marching up to the strange man, grumbling under her breath about never liking Link.

"Tingle loves hugs!" Tingle shouted, pulling Ilia into a hug. Unfortunately, Navi managed to catch up by then, and so both Tingle and Ilia got hit by a bunch of exploding bombs.

"Noooooo!" Ilia screamed over the loud explosions.

"…...Next!" Link said, motioning for everyone to run outside. They all quickly escaped the flying bombs, just as a giant hole formed in the ship.

"Hey, watch out!" Navi shouted as water began to slowly pour in.

Meanwhile, Link was reading out the next dare from Lostwonder15, "**Tingle: I dare you to hug Ilia back.**"

"Noooooooo!" Ilia screamed from under the deck.

"Tingle loves hugs!"

"Watch out!" Navi shouted even louder as the water level inside the storage room got deeper.

"And another dare from Lostwonder15! Hey, look at that, it's a dare for me!" Link said excitedly, smiling at everyone and ignoring all the bored expressions around him. "**Link: I dare you to try and answer the questions correctly for the trivia!**"

"It's not like he gets them wrong on purpose, he's just stupid!" Vaati grumbled.

"Ok, I'll do it!" Link said, clapping for himself. "Oh hey look, another dare from Lostwonder15, and it's for me again! **Link(again): I want you to try and scale the ship's side and not fall off! If you do...well enjoy your tea party with Dora!**"

"Dora's having a tea party?" Zelda asked, leaning over the edge. "Well look at that! I want to join!" And with that said the princess of destiny jumped over the side, managed to avoid Tetra's attempts to get her back onboard, and went over to the floating picnic table where Dora, Boots, and all the sharks were having a lovely tea party.

"Arrrr, me mateys, we've lost one of our crew," Tetra said sadly after climbing back onboard.

"She's just joined the tea-"

"I said, we lost one of our crew!" Tetra screeched angrily at Malon.

"Fine, whatever!" Malon said, and she went stalking off.

"Arrr, be there any dares for me yet, matey?" Tetra asked, turning to face Link, only to find that he wasn't there. She leaned over the edge of her ship and saw Link climbing along the side with the help of his cool double hookshot things. "Arrrrr, man almost overboard!" Tetra shouted. She stared at him and waited for him to fall so she could save him from drowning. When he didn't fall after a few minutes, she used her sword to pull out the hookshots. "Arrrr, man overboard!" Tetra shouted as Link fell into the water.

After the pirate captain had 'rescued' Link, she went running back to her crow's nest to search for the treasure.

"You know, I don't think there even is a treasure…" Malon whispered to Ganondorf, who was still busy with sewing the most girliest dress without Ilia noticing that he was using blue cloth.

"Yeah whatever," Ganondorf said distractedly, shooing the young farm girl away.

"Ok then, let's see the next dare!" Link said cheerfully, wringing salt water out of his hat. "Another one from Lostwonder15! **Midna: Do you really like Link? So far I'm not believing that**." Link looked up hopefully at Midna, who was turning all the non-important characters into wolves.

"What?" she asked, looking up from the task. "Honestly, I don't know why everyone thinks I like him! Seriously, all I said was 'I…'! I could've been meaning to say anything with that start! Maybe I wanted to say I hated him! Or maybe I wanted to say that I felt like throwing a party once I got home, too bad he couldn't join me!"

"So…you don't know what you were going to say…?" Link asked, slightly crestfallen.

"Uh…well I felt like I should say something, but I couldn't really think of anything fantastically brilliant, so I just left," the Twili said, shrugging.

"Fine! Well I'm throwing a party without you, too!" Link shouted.

"How did you even get back here?" Saria asked. "I thought you destroyed the mirror…"

"Well I did!" Midna said, glaring at Link who was looking around innocently. "But _somebody_ decided that he wanted to fix the darn thing!"

"It took me forever too! I usually just do two piece puzzles!" Link said proudly.

"Yeah…" Midna said, rolling her eyes.

"Ok, moving on! Another one from Lostwonder15!** Mudd: I dare you to shoot the owl with your awesome bow.**"

"Nooooooo!" the owl shouted before hiding behind Tetra…even though he was way bigger than her.

Mudd shrugged, "Ok!" He then pulled out his giant longbow and aimed carefully at the owl, who was being yelled at by Tetra for ruining her hair. "Carefully…carefully…" Mudd said, still aiming his arrow.

"Fire!" Link shouted, startling Mudd and causing him to hit Tetra instead.

"My hair!!" Tetra wailed, fingering the arrow that was now placed in her hair.

"Oops…" Mudd said as everyone else slowly inched away from the angry pirate.

"Good luck!" Link said quickly, and he then raced back into the storage room along with everyone else.

"Arrrr, you be walking the plank today!" Tetra shouted as she chased Mudd around the deck.

Mudd was saved from Tetra's planned punishment, however, when suddenly all the Zelda characters came running back from the room. "There's a hole in the ship!" Link screamed, running around and waving his arms in the air as he panicked.

"What!?" Tetra shouted. She shoved her way through all the people and marched down the stairs, only to find that the entire storage room was flooded, and the water level was still climbing. "Arrrrr, we got a hole in the ship! Abandon ship, mateys!"

* * *

"This is stupid," Midna complained as she inched even closer to the edge of the small dingy to make room for Link as he danced around and bragged that he had managed to rescue all the reviews.

"Arrrr, it be someone's fault that we're all here on this one tiny boat, and I plan to find out whose it is!" Tetra growled.

"Hey, how many people are supposed to fit on these things anyway?" asked Zelda, who had joined them and was now crushed between Ganondorf and Ilia, who were fighting over which color to make the dress with as Ilia had finally noticed that Ganondorf was using blue.

"Oh, about six," Tetra said casually. Everyone suddenly froze when their brains finally registered what the captain had said.

"Ok, well how many do we have now?" Link asked, and he started to count all of the characters from every single Zelda game.

"Arrrr, we'll start sinking if we don't do something soon!" Tetra shouted at Link, and she started to throw the random characters out, shouting that there was a man overboard every single time she did. After a few hours they were finally down to just Link, Malon, Ganondorf, Midna, Ilia, Zelda, Mudd, and Tetra. Everyone else was just floating around the small boat and singing for some reason. "Ok mateys, two more have to go!" Tetra said.

"Well, I'm the host!" Link said. "So I get to pick who goes!"

"Well I be the captain of this here boat!" Tetra shouted, and she scooped up Zelda and Ilia before tossing them over the side.

"Hey!" Zelda shrieked. "I'm the princess of destiny!"

"Ok then! Now that we're safe, let's get on with the dares!" Link said, ignoring all of the groans as he pulled out the reviews from his pocket. "Ok, this one is from Lostwonder15!** Link: I dare you to show Mudd your bow**." Link pouted, "Do I have to?"

"Yes," everyone else said, even the people who were in the water.

"Fine! Here…" Link said as he handed Mudd his bow.

"Hmmm…it's kind of small. Is it just a piece?" Mudd asked as he compared Link's bow to his giant long bow.

Link's bottom lip began to quiver, "No!" he shouted, and he snatched his bow back before running to the other end of the boat to hide.

"Ok…I guess I'll just read the others," Midna said, grabbing the pile of reviews that Link had left behind. "Another one from Lostwonder15. **The princess(sorry I some how forgot your name): I dare you not to complain about people not knowing your name.**"

Zelda smiled sweetly, "One minute please," she said, and she quickly went under water before screaming angrily. All that anyone else saw, however, was a long stream of bubbles.

"Now see what you did? You made her very mad," Ganondorf said, having a large amount of experience with Zelda's anger problem as he was always kidnapping her for some reason.

A few minutes later Zelda resurfaced, wearing the same smile she had disappeared with. "Ok!" she said, still smiling.

"Wow, her smile is creepier than mine when I was an imp!" Midna said before turning to the review by Lostwonder15. "Here's another one for you, Zelda! **Princess: What is really your name?**"

"One minute!" Zelda said, and she went under water again. This time the others could just make out a muffled scream of anger.

"Let's move on…" Midna said nervously. "This one is from Sott. **Owl: Say I love Sott before everything you say in two chapters**."

The giant owl glared, "I love Sott! I will never do such a ridiculous thing!"

"Ok… Next! Another one from-"

"I wanna read some!" Mudd whined.

"No way! I'm having fun!" Midna said, turning her back to Mudd, who glared angrily. "Now then, another one from Sott. **Malon: Destroy your undead army**."

"But I don't wanna!" Malon shouted. She had just been in the middle of joining her army together to form a raft for her, but in an instant the army disappeared thanks to some of Midna's magic. "Nooooooooo!" Malon screamed.

"Hahahaha, loser!" Midna shouted. "Oh look at this, I've got a dare from Sott! **Midna: Get rid of your army of fans.**" Midna gasped, "Noooooooo!"

"Finally! We're out of here!" the army of fans said, and they jumped into the large cruise ship that had been floating around.

"…Dude, we could've used that!" Mudd said as everyone watched the cruise ship cruise away.

Midna sighed sadly, "Next dare. Another from Sott. **Talon: Befriend a walking mushroom guy with funny spots on his head and a blue vest.**"

"What in tarnation!?" Talon shouted as he suddenly found himself floating next to a walking mushroom guy with funny spots on his head and a blue vest.

"Hello!" said the mushroom guy in a strange, scratchy voice.

"What in tarnation!? I'm turning over a new leaf!" Talon shouted (apparently he was just like Navi and only knew a few lines).

The mushroom guy screamed because of Talon's shouting, "P…P…Princess Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser!"

"What in tarnation!? I'm turning over a new leaf!"

"Well, as entertaining as this conversation is, we're on a time limit," Midna said, and she turned her back on the two people who were now just repeating themselves over and over. "Hey!" Midna shouted when suddenly Mudd grabbed the review from her.

"I'm cohost, and it's my turn!" Mudd said with a pout.

"Oh whatever," Midna said, rolling her eyes.

"Yay! Ok, this one is from Sott! **Dora: Don't sing anything in the whole fanfic, break your map, burn your backpack, throw your rocket launcher to the rocket launcher-eating sharks and eat Boots' boots while dancing the Macarena.**"

"Doo doo doo, doo do Dora! Doo doo do, doo- Wait, what!? No singing!?" Dora screamed a high pitched scream before fainting.

"Arrrr, no starting fires on my boat!" Tetra shouted. "Just dump everything in the water, and then jump in the water yourself, because this boat only holds six people, darn it!"

Boots shrugged and then tossed the talking map, backpack, and rocket launcher into the water.

"Say backpack!" shouted the backpack as the rocket launcher eating sharks started to munch on the rocket launcher.

"Oh Dora, wake up!" Boots said.

Right as Dora started to dance the Macarena and eat some boot stew made with Boots' boots, Tetra came marching over and threw them both into the water. "Only six people, arrrrr!" she shouted at them before marching back.

"Ok…looks like that's it for Sott's review!" Mudd said.

"Ahha! And I have the next one!" Midna said happily, opening up an envelope. "Here's a dare from Starlll. **Vatti: Change into Valoo's size and fight to see who gets the grand prize: a lifetime supply of golden rupees! (A donation from the skeletula family).  
Valoo: (Read vatti's dare)**."

"Graaaawgh!" Valoo, a large dragon, said (he didn't bother talking since nobody could understand Ancient Hylian anyway).

"Yo yo yo, check it out! I'm a giant!" Vaati shouted.

"Arrrr, How many times do I have to tell you landlubbers!? Only six people!!" Tetra shouted, and she easily shoved Valoo and Vaati into the water.

"Check it dawg, I'm gonna totally win that grand prize!"

"Graaaawgh!"

"And let the battle begin!" Mudd shouted through a megaphone.

"Yo yo yo! Take that!" Vaati shouted, and he turned Valoo into stone.

"Graaaaaawgh!" the stone Valoo shouted (somehow he managed to stay floating, even though he was now made of heavy stone).

"Well, that was easy…" Mudd said. "Congratulations, you won a lifetime supply of golden rupees!"

"Yes!" Vaati cheered for himself.

"That brought back some bad memories…" Zelda and Tetra said at the same time before glaring at each other.

"I got turned to stone first!" Zelda shrieked. "And I had to wait for forever before Link finally got around to rescuing me! He could've done it in a few days, but nooooo, he wanted to trade stupid kinstones with everyone first!"

"Well I was turned to a statue just because I was looking for treasure, arrrr!" Tetra argued. "And how many times do I have to say this!? Six people only!" The pirate threw Zelda back off of the boat, much to the amusement of Midna, who was getting ready to read the next dare. "Ok, this one is from Starlll. **Malon: You lost your horses. Too bad. But you can find them from the ocean god: Neptune. Or Jabun. Or Jabu-Jabu. (Mudd worships the last two. they ARE the zora gods after all)**."

"Ahhhhh, Jabun or Jabu-Jabu!" Mudd said in awe, and he started to bow towards the water several times.

"Stop that, you're freaking me out!" Midna said, slapping her cohost on the face.

"How am I supposed to find a stupid fish!?" Malon asked, ignoring the angry glare that Mudd was pointing her way.

"I know how to find him!" a Zora shouted, jumping up and down in the water.

"Oh no! It's Ruto!" Link screamed, and he promptly fainted.

"Awwww, he's so amazed by my beauty he fainted!" Ruto said happily as she climbed aboard the small boat.

"Arrrrr, how many times do I-"

"Oh shut up, commoner! I'm a princess! I don't have to listen to you!" Ruto said, and she smacked the pirate, sending her flying into the water.

"Now then, finding Jabu-Jabu is my specialty! In fact, I'm the-" Suddenly Ruto was interrupted when a giant fish jumped out of the water and swallowed the Zora princess whole.

"Huh," Midna said, slapping Mudd again when he started to bow at the spot where the giant fish had disappeared back into the water.

"It happened again," Link said, sighing. "She's always getting eaten."

"Now how am I supposed to find him!?" Malon shrieked.

"Well, we'll figure it out later. Moving on!" Midna said casually. She read the next dare from Starlll to herself first, and then smiled happily. "Oh I like this one! **Mudd: Get tied to a barrel for the rest of the episode. No moving!**"

"What!? But…but…I wanted to join the quest to find Jabu-Jabu!"

"Too bad!" Midna said, and she quickly tied Mudd to one of the many floating barrels.

"What am I supposed to do from way over here!?" Mudd shouted. He sighed sadly when he realized that he was drifting closer to where Talon and Toad were still talking.

"What in tarnation!? I'm turning over a new leaf!"

"P…P…Princess Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser!"

"Why me?" Mudd asked miserably.

Meanwhile, Link was slowly recovering from having his bow teased, and he was now arguing with Midna over who was actually the host. "But I got promoted first!" Link whined.

"Yeah well, get over it! I'm cooler than you, and everyone knows it!"

Link's bottom lip began to quiver again, and he went running off to hide behind Ganondorf, who was still arguing with Ilia over which color to use for the dress.

"Ok! This one is from Starlll." Midna said happily. "**Gonzo: (He's the guy who's all "Miss tetra", Right?) stay on windfall island for two days.**"

"But Miss Tetraaaaaa!" Gonzo whined.

"…I'm not Miss Tetra," Midna said, looking at Gonzo with a confused expression.

"Miss Tetraaaaaaa!" Gonzo shouted, and he went swimming off to look for her.

"Arrrr, get to Windfall Island already!" Tetra shouted from somewhere far away.

"Ok…" Gonzo said, and he started swimming towards the nearby island.

"Dude, we could just go there, then we don't have to worry about only having six people on the boat!" Mudd shouted over Talon and Toad's shouting.

"Good idea!" Midna said, and she passed out oars to everyone but herself. "Start rowing, slackers!"

After a few minutes, all of the Zelda characters were on Windfall Island. While most of them ran around and bothered the natives, the more important people gathered at the little café that was over that one shop owned by the guy who gives you the sail. Link decided to hang out with him, since he felt underappreciated by the others. "Ok, next dare!" Midna said after everyone had found a seat. "And bring us some coffee!" she shouted at the owner of the café.

"Ok ok!" the owner said, scowling at Midna before getting to work on making the coffee.

"Another dare from Starlll. Oh, no wait, it's a question!"

"Hooray!" everyone shouted.

"**Tetra: (Q)Why do you have a flower lamp in your room?**"

"Uh… I do?" Tetra asked. "I didn't even notice that! Well, the ship sunk now, so I guess I don't have one anymore!"

"So why _did_ you have one?" Midna asked, smiling evilly.

"Uh… It's actually…treasure! Yeah, treasure! It's worth five rupees! Arrrrr!"

"That's it?" the café owner asked as she poured the coffee.

"Arrrr, don't you go saying that's not worth much! I bet that coffee is worth less!"

"It is, but I'm still making you pay fifty rupees per cup."

"What!?" Midna shouted.

* * *

"Move over Link!" Midna said as she and the others joined him outside near the little store.

"We're selling flowers!" Link said excitedly, pointing to the potted flower that he was wearing as a hat.

"Good for you…" Zelda said, rolling her eyes and placing the barrel that Mudd was tied to down on the shelves.

"Hey! I'm not for sale! Get me down from here!" Mudd shouted.

"Oh he is so cute!" said one of the villagers as she pointed to Mudd. "How much?"

"Are you deaf!? I just said I'm not for sale!" Mudd shrieked.

Midna just shook her head at Mudd slowly before turning the villager into a wolf.

"Ahhhhh! Monster!" shouted a random kid. Instantly everything darkened.

"Hey, what happened!?" Malon shouted. Right after she had said that the lighting returned, but all of the villagers were gone.

"Weird…" Zelda said.

"You get used to it," Link said.

"Next dare from Starlll! **Tetra: (D) dare number one: stop talking like a pirate. Dare number two: Kiss Mudd (no complaining).(I know. Mudd, You'll stab me to death with your knives... Then you'll probably try to poison me.)**"

"Probably," Mudd said, shrugging casually.

"But…today's Talk like a Pirate Day!" Tetra protested. She was just about to say her usual 'Arrrr', but caught herself in time. "And I'm not kissing him!" the pirate shrieked. "And that wasn't really a complaint either, just a complete denial! So hah!"

Tetra grimaced and was just about to do her dare when suddenly the villager who had been turned into a wolf came running from out of nowhere and grabbed Mudd. "Ahhhh, she's stealing from the store!" Mudd shouted.

"No no no, my friend, come around the other way!" the store owner said, blocking Link from saving the day.

"Move it, guy! I need to save my cohost!" Link shouted.

"Hey, he's my cohost now!" Midna screeched at him.

"I can be cohost to both of you, just get over here!" Mudd shouted as the villager ran around in circles for some unknown reason. Finally Mudd was rescued and stuffed into the safe that the store owner had. By then, however, Tetra had 'mysteriously' disappeared, along with all of the other Zelda characters' money.

"We'll get her later. Let's move on!" Midna said. "Another dare from Starlll. **Tingle: Get locked in a cell for two days with Gonzo**."

"Miss Tetraaaaaa!" Gonzo whined.

"I'm not Tetra!" Midna yelled, and she shoved both him and Tingle (who was still battling with Navi), into the jail. Navi just sat on one of the boxes and waited patiently for the door to open, even though she could've easily just flown between the bars.

"Hi there! My name is Tingle! I sell maps for my father!" Tingle said happily at Gonzo, who was hiding under one of the chairs. "Would you like a map?" When Gonzo didn't respond after a few minutes, Tingle just shrugged and blew up a giant balloon and flew around the jail cell.

"Booooring! I was hoping they'd fight or something," Midna said, yawning as they watched what was going on through the window.

"Hang on, I got this one!" Link said, and he pulled out his bow and ran inside before quickly shooting Tingle's balloon and then running back outside.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Tingle screamed as he fell to the ground. He laughed when he spotted Gonzo. "What's this? Pirate clothes, and a fairy nearby? Why sir, could you by chance be a forest fairy?"

Gonzo shook his head fearfully.

Tingle began to dance around, "I'm a fairy too! Tingle will give you maps for…kind of free! Here you go!" Tingle threw all of his maps at poor Gonzo. "That'll be two thousand rupees!"

"Nooooooooo!" Gonzo screamed.

Meanwhile, all the other Zelda characters were laughing loudly. "That was great! Well, let's go back to the store!" Midna said, forcing everyone to hold hands so she wouldn't lose anyone.

"We're not three!" Link protested as Midna pulled them all along.

"Come on everyone! When we get back, we can all have ice cream!" Midna said.

"Hooray!" Everyone cheered except for Link, who just sighed.

As soon as they arrived at the store, Midna didn't keep her promise for ice cream, and so everyone went running off in tears, except for Link, who just grabbed his reviews back before Midna could get to them. "My turn!" he snapped at the Twili.

"Fine!" Midna snapped back before stomping off.

"Uh…guys? Come on, I can't just read the dares to the air!" Link shouted. He glanced at the next dare from Starlll, "This one is for you Ganon!"

"Coming!" Ganondorf said excitedly as he came racing over.

"Ok, **Ganon: Do whatever you want. If you kiss Minda. Twice**."

"But I don't wanna!" Ganondorf said with a pout, and he went stomping off, leaving Link all by himself once again.

"Ok… next! Another one from Starlll! Oh hey look, it's for the author!"

"Hooray!" Jane said, suddenly appearing. "What is it?"

"Ok, **Jane: eat**-"

"Oh hang on. Does anyone else hear that?" Jane asked suddenly when the sound of banging could be heard from inside the store's safe.

"Oh that's nothing," Link said, waving his hand casually.

Jane glared at Link when she opened the safe to reveal Mudd, still tied to the barrel. "Oh thank goodness! I can breathe again!" Mudd said happily.

"You put our guest in an airtight safe!?" Jane shouted.

"Uh…"

"Anyway, what's my dare?"

"Oh, right! **Jane: Eat Pie. Lots and lots of pie**."

"Alright! Can it be any kind? 'Cause I just love mixed berry!"

"I guess…" Link said. He blinked in surprise when suddenly a large table filled with pie appeared.

"Yum!" Jane said happily.

"Can I have some?" Link asked hopefully.

"No way man!" Jane said, her mouth full of pie. "The dare just said me!"

"Oh, ok…"

"My turn to read a dare!" Mudd said, knowing that he could now get away with anything since Jane was there.

"Fine…" Link grumbled, pouting.

"Another one from Starlll! **Midna: this time you must go with Malon on her Quest to save her horses**."

"Says who?" Midna asked grumpily.

"Uh…Midna?" Link said nervously, trying to point out Jane to Midna.

"I'm not going on a stupid quest!" Midna shouted.

"Yes you are!" Jane said suddenly.

Midna whirled around and gave a high pitched scream, "It's her!! And…she's got pie! Can I have some?"

"No," Jane said, and she used her awesome magic powers to warp both Midna and Malon inside Jabu-Jabu.

"Ewwwwwww!" both girls shouted.

"Ok, well that was a fun dare, I'll be seeing you!" Jane said.

"You ate all of those pies already!?" Link shouted.

"Yeah…" And with that, Jane left, leaving the dishes for the Zelda characters to clean.

"Ok then. Next! Oh…this is from that one person whose name Vaati spelt wrong…twice! Hey Midna, you can read some reviews now!" Link said.

"Hey thanks!" Midna said.

"Wait a minute…I thought we were inside Jabu-Jabu!" Malon said.

"I can make twilight portal things! Muhahahaha! Now then, where's my review! Ah this one is from…" Suddenly Midna gave a scream. "Uh…this one is from that one person whose name Vaati got wrong, and got fired because of it! Link, why don't you- Link? Where'd he go!?"

Malon just shrugged as she looked around.

"Fine! Vaati called this person Senom299, but of course everyone knows that that's totally wrong! So anyway, here's the dares from that person! **Vaati: Don't spell my name wrong. EVER**."

"Ok," Vaati said.

"**A word to Zelda...I don't really hate u, just Ilia and Ganon(makes up by giving éclair cake)**"

"Yum! Thanks! I love éclairs!" Zelda said, clapping happily and ignoring Ilia and Ganondorf as they burst into tears.

"**Kpora Gaybora: put 5 LAYERS OF MASK TAPE ON YOUR BEAK**."

"I love Sott! Why would I do that!?" the owl shouted, but Midna was already wrapping the tape around his beak and cackling eccentrically. "I love Sott! I hate dares!" the owl grumbled to himself.

Midna cleared her throat before continuing, "**Ilia: drown in lava, don't scream while I let Lacri pour in pirahnas and sharks, and stay in there while we launch a rocket in your face**."

Ilia looked around, "Who's Lacri? And anyway, I don't really see any volcanoes around here, so…"

"I'll dig one up!" Link said happily, and he started to dig right where everyone was standing.

"This is going to take a while…" Zelda said when Link hit a rather large rock.

"Let's keep going then while he's doing that…" Mudd said, snatching the review from Midna. "**Midna: I STILL LOVE U! tell Nintendo that TEIRS R 4 QUEERS and then we invade the Mushroom Kingdom.**"

"Uh…Teirs are for queers? What does that even mean?" Midna asked, staring at her dare. Everyone else just shrugged, except for Link as he was too busy trying to blow up the rock with his bombs. "But I'd love to take over the Mushroom Kingdom! Last I heard, it's leader was kidnapped anyway, by some guy called Bowser! See you losers later!" Midna said, and she warped to the Mushroom Kingdom to take over.

"Aaaack! Mushroom Kingdom has been taken over…by…by…Midna!" Toad shouted.

"What in tarnation!?" Talon shouted back.

"Anyways, let's continue!" Mudd said. "**Sheik: same as Midna**."

"Ahha!" Zelda said, instantly turning into Sheik. "I'm going to be queen of the Mushroom Kingdom!" he shouted as he went running off. Fortunately for him, Sheik was able to rule the Mushroom Kingdom all on his own, because Midna had been warped back inside Jabu-Jabu along with Malon, as they still had to find the horses.

"**Ganon: make the world's funniest book on how Dimentio and Bowser are WAY better villains then u, not true but I still would laugh.) READ IT OUT LOUD!**" Mudd read.

"Hmm, I've always wanted to make a book! Ok!" Ganondorf said, and he went running off, leaving Ilia to start shredding the dress he had been working on. In a few seconds he came running back. "I did it!"

"Well then, let's hear it!" Link said, now trying to remove the giant rock with his hammer.

Ganondorf cleared his throat, "Once upon a time, there were two villains called Dimentio and Bowser. Dimentio and Bowser were way better badguys than Ganondorf, because Dimentio had a cooler name, and Bowser was an awesome turtle. This made Ganondorf sad, so he just ate some ice cream. The End!"

"…That's it?" Mudd asked.

"Yep! And I sent it to a publisher, and they're going to publish it! I'm a millionaire!" Ganondorf shouted happily.

"Wow! I want to write a book too!" Ilia said.

"Ok then, let's see what else we got here…" Mudd said. "**Navi and Tingle: U R still fighting...Navi eat a duck while u fight and Tingle throw maps at Gaybora.**"

"Hey!" Navi shouted from inside the jail before swallowing a rubber duck whole and then launching arrows at Tingle, who was taking his maps back from Gonzo and throwing them at the giant owl, who was annoying one of the local villagers by talking to him.

"And now we're doing a review sent by The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!" Mudd said, watching Navi, Tingle, and the giant owl fight amongst themselves and Gonzo trying to escape. "**Princess Matilda: Hey, what do you think of my new golden rupee?**"

"Ooooo, shiny!" Zelda said, reaching out to touch the giant rupee. Instantly she was zapped by a hidden zapper thingy inside the rupee. "Ow!" she screamed.

"Oh hang on, I forgot to read the rest of it…" Mudd said hesitantly. "**If you even think about touching it, you'll get zapped!**"

"Thanks for the warning," Zelda said sarcastically, glaring at Mudd.

"Anyway…here's another one from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Ganondorf: How's the dress making going? Don't forget to use pink fabric! And sew some pretty flowers on while you're at it.**"

Ganondorf, who was nearly finished with making a blue dress, pouted. "Oh fine!" he said, and he went stomping off to find some pink fabric.

"Told you!" Ilia said smugly.

"I'll help, yo!" Vaati said, running after the tall Gerudo.

"That's the Minish in him," said Link cheerfully. "They run around and make things!"

"And you thought I cared because…?" Mudd asked.

"Well fine, be that way!" Link shouted, and he went back to digging out his volcano.

"Another dare from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Link: I dare you to smack Tetra with a rubber chicken every time she talks like a pirate!**"

"Hooray!" Link said happily, instantly dropping his shovel and pulling out a rubber chicken instead.

"Arrrrr, how'd you get that, silly landlubber!" Tetra shouted as she walked over, dressed in fancy clothes and covered in bling (she had obviously spent every single rupee that she had taken from the others).

"Ahha, take that!" Link said, and he smacked Tetra across the face with his chicken.

"Arrrr, you annoying land lubber, I should-" But whatever she was planning to do was forgotten when she was smacked again. "Arrrr! I should- Ow! You're so annoying!" Tetra shouted before stomping off, taking money from that one rich guy on Windfall as she went.

"Hey, I bet I could use this rubber chicken to launch the moon made of cheese back into the sky!" Link shouted excitedly while everyone else just stared at him (giant dessert of your choice if you can guess which game that came from! Hint: it's kind of old, actually really old, and it's not a Zelda game. It's kind of a vague reference, so I'll probably just hand out desserts to anyone who feels like guessing :-D).

"Anyway… next!" Ilia said, looking at the next review.

"Hey…what happened to Mudd?" Link asked, looking around.

"He's a bit preoccupied at the moment…Muhahahahaha!" Ilia shouted as lightning flashed behind her. "I want to read a few reviews anyway!" Ilia said sweetly while everyone else stared at her in fear and wondered what she had done to Mudd.

* * *

…At the mail sorting room on Dragon Roost Island…

"I am so going to beat Link's old record!" Mudd shouted, throwing the mail around wildly.

"You have to get them _in_ the boxes! _Next_ to the boxes doesn't count!" the mailman said, pulling his feathers in distress.

"Silence, fool!" Mudd screeched.

* * *

"So here's a question from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!" Ilia said cheerfully. "**Malon: What is the weirdest dream you've ever had?**"

"Oh, which one do I pick!" Malon said. "I guess the weirdest one was when I dreamt that Ingo took over the ranch!"

"…But that really did happen," Link said.

"I know, weird right! I think I can see…into the future! Of course it would've been even cooler if I had had that dream _before_ he actually took over the ranch…"

"Right…" Link said, inching away slightly from the girl. "I get to read the next one! I haven't read any in a while!"

"Fine," Ilia said. "I want to bother Ganny anyway!"

"Who?" Link asked in a confused voice.

"Ganny-poo!" Ilia shouted as she ran over to Ganondorf, who was desperately trying to finish his dress with Vaati's help before Ilia arrived.

"Strange…" Link said. "Anyway, here's another one from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!** Saria: Hi!**"

"Hi!" Saria called from the middle of her dance off with Makar, the little plant dude who happened to be a descendant of the Kokiri and was also a sage of some temple place.

"Well, looks like that's it!" Link said.

"Hooray!" Everyone shouted.

Suddenly one tiny envelope landed on Link's hat. "Oh, wait…we got some more…"

"Aw man!" everyone said disappointedly.

"Ok, one more from Starlll! **Make Mudd suffer**."

Link paused as he thought about this before a smile started to grow on his face. "Excellent!" he shouted, and he grabbed Mudd's bow before trying to saw it in half with his Master Sword.

"Hahahaha, you'll never break it!" Mudd shouted, still tied to his barrel. "It's made out of…which ever wood is the strongest! Hah!"

Link just ignored him, however, and continued to hack away at the bow with no results.

"Arrr, I've got an idea, matey!" Tetra said, dressed in even more expensive clothes.

Link paused long enough to smack Tetra with his rubber chicken before continuing with his task.

"Here we are! This is my pet, Octo!" Tetra said, pulling a giant octorock out of her pocket.

"Eep!" Mudd said as Octo started to spit giant rocks at him. "This just isn't my day…"

* * *

"Hello everyone…it's me…Ganondorf…" Ganondorf said nervously from inside Windfall Island's school. He had finally finished his pink dress and was currently wearing it as Navi ran around the building, setting up the game show equipment and trying to kill Tingle, who was still in jail with Gonzo, all at the same time. "Since Link is currently busy trying to saw Mudd's bow in half, I'm your temporary host!" Ganondorf said.

"And me!" Ilia said, smiling widely and dressed in a very poofy dress with ribbons everywhere.

"Yeah…and her…" Ganondorf said sulkily.

"Our contestant today is a returning contestant!" Ilia said. "You all know this person, you all love this person, it's Sott!"

"I love Sott! Booooooo!" shouted the owl.

"Are you ready to play…Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!" Ganondorf shouted, trying to sound excited.

"Ok! I, Ilia, shall read the questions, and Ganondorf will try to answer to make the game show seem more realistic! First question! Where does Link first meet Midna in Twilight Princess?

a) in a prison  
b) in a pretty field filled with flowers and dancing unicorns  
c) at a history museum...which, for some reason, is also filled with dancing unicorns"

"Hmmm…" said both Sott and Ganondorf.

"This one isn't really fair, because I'm not Link or Midna," Ganondorf said.

"Yeah!" Sott said, nodding in agreement.

"So? There were a bunch of questions about Link that Link got wrong!" Ilia snapped. "Just hit the darn buzzer and answer!"

"But we don't think it's very fair to-"

"Hit the buzzer and answer!" Ilia shrieked. Instantly both buzzers were pressed and Ilia was back to smiling. "I think I heard Ganny-poo's buzzer go off first!" Ilia said, clapping happily.

"Um…I'm gonna go with-"

"Wait! Cut!" Ilia shouted suddenly.

"What now?!" Ganondorf shouted impatiently.

"I see a strand of hair out of place!!" Ilia screamed, staring at her reflection on one of the many cameras. "Emergency! Call 911!!" Without even waiting for the contestants to react, Ilia dialed the emergency number herself. "Hello? Yes, I have an emergency here! There's a strand of hair out of place! …No, this isn't a prank phone call, what would make you even think that!? Yes I'm being serious!" Ilia bellowed into the phone that had been, luckily enough, invented right when it was needed. "Look here, mister, if you don't send someone here right now I'll- What? Why yes, I can wait!" Ilia covered the mouth piece with her hand, "I'm on hold," she whispered to the two contestants, who were just staring at her. "Hey, they're playing some pretty catchy music too!" Ilia said, and she started to dance to the music that was playing.

"Uh…did you want to answer?" Ganondorf asked.

"Sure, why not!" Sott said. "I think the unicorns are logical, I mean, why would he meet her in a prison? Stupid! I bet it's... C!"

"Makes sense to me!" Ganondorf said.

"Don't you have the answers?"

"No…Link has them. We'll just go with who makes the most sense."

"Ok!"

"Alrighty then, next question!" Ganondorf said happily. "What is Link turned into when he enters the twilight in Twilight Princess?

a) a wolf  
b) a rocking chair  
c) a talking car with surround sound speakers!"

Right before Ganondorf or Sott could hit the buzzers, Ilia suddenly shushed them both. "Be quiet, I think they're taking me off hold!" she hissed. "Yes? Hello! Yes, there is a strand of hair out of place. Ilia. No I don't know my last name! I'm just trying to tell you that I have a strand of hair out of place! What do you mean that isn't considered an emergency!? But I- …I just have to brush my hair? You expect me to do that myself!? Go to a hairstylist? Well I guess I could do that… Oh wait, it was just a smudge on the camera, not my hair! Never mind, thanks again!" Ilia said happily, and she hung up. "Well, it's a good thing I didn't panic!" she said, smoothing a few wrinkles out of her dress. "So where were we? Oh yes, the questions! Are you two going to try and answer or are we just going to stand here all day?" The two contestants quickly hit their buzzers before Ilia could continue talking. "Normally I'd say that I heard Ganny-poo's go off first, but I'm tired so let's just go with Sott," Ilia said.

"Yes!" Sott cheered. "Ok…I'm gonna go with…ABC. Oh... One answer... right... uh... A! …BC!"

"Good enough," Ilia said in bored voice.

"Hooray!" the audience cheered as the lights in the school began to flash and the new theme song started to play. This time it was the sun song, played by a bunch of ghosts. As the sun rose and set continually, Sott was handed a second golden rupee. "Congratulations!" Ilia said, making sure that her head was covering everyone else's while pictures were being taken. "Thanks for coming!" she said as soon as everyone was done taking pictures.

Ganondorf, who was tired of standing in high heels, quickly shoved Sott off the stage before sitting down. "That was hard!" he said.

"No, that was fun! I'm a star!" Ilia said as she went skipping outside.

As soon as everyone was back outside, Link came running up to meet them. "There you all are! We have a ton of dares to do!" he said.

"What!? But I'm tired, and we just did a bunch today!" Ganondorf protested.

"No…the sun song warped you all ahead a few days! We got more reviews!" Link said happily, shaking all of the unopened envelopes in front of the other Zelda characters. Everyone else groaned and Ilia grumbled something about killing the ghosts who had played the sun song before she trudged after the others to the café for some much needed coffee. "We need a new theme song for that game show…" Ganondorf said as Link marched alongside them, bringing them all up to speed on what had happened over the last few days.

* * *

**Ok, so I was planning on describing how Malon's quest to find her horses went, but I felt that this chapter was getting a bit too long. So then I decided to turn that into a sort of bonus chapter thing at the end! (Hope that's ok with you, Starlll) Don't worry though, you all can still give Malon, Midna, and Ruto dares and/or questions, because, technically, they already did their quest during the time that everyone was at the gameshow and the sun song was playing. Bwahahahaha, how clever was that! I didn't even plan it that way...**

**Anyway...thanks for reading, hope you all liked it! And thanks to Sott for going on the game show! **

**Um... is it Senom299()? 'Cause that's all I have... sorry if that still isn't the way you spelt your name! Anyway, a chapter with your questions will be posted probably the day after tomorrow, or maybe even later...I still have to make some up... So once you see that you can just PM me with your answers, or just review them in! **

**And I think that's all I have to say for this time! Thanks again for reading, see you next chapter!**


	6. special question chapter1

**Ok, here's your questions, Senom299()! Good luck, and there's no time limit for these. Just send me your answers whenever you can, and thanks for entering!**

* * *

1. What type of magical creature is Navi from Ocarina of Time?  
a) a fairy  
b) a mountain giant who enjoys hitting things with a giant club  
c) an immortal cucco (aka chicken)

2. How many years did Link age when he took the Master Sword in Ocarina of Time?  
a) he didn't age, he actually regressed to a toddler stage  
b) seven years  
c) one thousand years, where he then ended up dying of old age the minute he left the Temple of Time before being revived by a bottled fairy, and then he quickly returned the Master Sword to where it belonged, deciding that saving the world just wasn't worth it


	7. Chapter 7

**Uh...well I think I managed to get this one out before two weeks passed! Yay! Sorry I took so long, but I was busy trying out all the new hairstyles in World of Warcraft! You can change it any time you want at the barber shop now! What fun! Ahem, anyway... Sorry to Senom299() about the misspellings, and I went through the chapters and fixed it. I'm pretty sure I got them all! And it turns out that I've been spelling Starlll's name wrong too! So I fixed that, and now everything should be spelt correctly. Really sorry to both of you for getting your names wrong!**

**And as for that one hint last chapter with the moon made of cheese and the rubber chicken, that was actually from a really old computer game called King's Quest VII. It's so old, in fact, that it no longer works on my computer, which is sad, because I loved that game :-(  
The moon (which was made of cheese) fell and so you had to use a rubber chicken to slingshot it back into the sky, lol. It was kind of a silly game...  
Anyway, Lostwonder15 was close enough with Majora's Mask, so congrats! You get a dessert of your choice! Hooray!**

**Now then, onwards with the chapter, and thanks to everyone for reviewing!**

* * *

Chapter 6  
(which really is chapter six! Hooray!)

"Howdy everyone, it's your new host, Ilia!" Ilia said as she gave a warning glare to the giant owl, who had just been about to boo her.

"Uh…What happened to Link?" Mudd asked nervously.

"Nothing… nothing fatal anyway! Muhahahahaha!"

* * *

…Flashback…

It was the same night from the last game show with Sott, and Link was currently filling everyone in on what had happened during the time they had just been sitting there while the sun song played, warping them all ahead a few days. "And then, Navi won the big battle to the death against Tingle, and so Tingle didn't get to talk for a long time. So that was nice. And then-"

"Oh shut up already!" Ilia shouted. She grabbed Link, who was still talking about all the things they had missed, and stuffed him into the mailbox.

"Where you want me to mail him to?" the flying mailman/bird guy asked.

"Anywhere, I don't care! Just get rid of him!" Ilia said, and she went stomping off to get her coffee. Unfortunately, by the time she got to the café, everyone else had already drunk it all, and all that was left was a few coffee beans, which Ilia was about to eat when Navi came in and swallowed them all.

"Heylistenwatchoutheywatchoutlistenheyheyhey!" Navi shouted.

"Alright, who gave the fairy caffeine?" Midna shouted over Navi's loud voice.

…End of Flashback…

* * *

"Muhahahahaha!" Ilia continued to cackle as she remembered what had happened the day before. The group of Zelda characters had been gathered inside the school, but once Ilia started to laugh her evil laugh they all ran outside to the dock where Tetra was. The pirate captain had finally managed to find someone with a boat who was willing to repair the giant hole in her ship. The group was now waiting for the man to bring the pirate ship to the dock, so that they could start heading home. After a few minutes, Ilia finally realized that everyone had left her, and so she went running after them. "There you are! Now then, let's move on with our first review for today!" the girl said happily, ignoring the glare that Tetra was giving everyone. "This first dare is from Senom299()! **Ganon: Make another doily. EVEN BIGGER THEN B4!**"

"You're kidding right?" Ganondorf asked.

"Does it sound like it? Do the dare!" Ilia shouted.

"Alright fine! But I just made the world's largest one…I don't know if I can beat that…" Ganondorf said as he walked off.

Ilia rolled her eyes, "Honestly, all he has to do is add a bit more to his other one," she grumbled, but Ganondorf decided to start from scratch. "Ok, next! Another from Senom299()! Oh look, it's for me! **Ilia: Work at a glue factory**." Ilia shrugged, "Ok. Here Mudd, take over while I'm gone!"

"Finally, somebody understands what a cohost is for!" Mudd said as he eagerly grabbed the review. "Ok, while Ilia is applying for her first job, let's continue! This one is for Jane, from Senom299()! **Jane: read at a kid's fanfiction site made with synthasite**."

"Ok!" Jane said, and she went running off before realizing that she didn't have to move to get to her computer. After returning, Jane set to work to find out what synthasite actually was.

"…Anyway, here's one for Zelda from Senom299()!" Mudd said. "**OoT Zelda: Pink stinks**."

Zelda gasped and stopped twirling around in her pink dress, "It does not!" she said before bursting into tears.

"I like this person, yo!" Vaati said happily as he watched Zelda started to go into denial and shout that pink was the best color in the whole entire world.

"Ok, well here's another one from Senom299()!" Mudd said. "**OoT Link: Spell tabitha**."

Suddenly Link appeared with a puff of smoke, "Greetings, mortals!" Link shouted.

"Hey, Link," said Midna casually.

Link pouted, "That's the only greeting I get? I had such a cool entrance too! Oh well. Spell Tabitha eh? Ok! T-A-B-uh…Can you repeat the word please?"

"Yes. Tabitha," Mudd said.

"Uh…can you put it into a sentence?"

"Just spell the darn word!" Mudd shrieked.

"Can you define the word please?"

"Oh that is it! Prepare to die!" Mudd screamed out a war cry and charged towards the hero, who gave a high pitched scream and then disappeared the same way he had appeared just a few minutes ago. "Now then, let's continue," Mudd said calmly, smoothing out his shirt.

"Hello everyone, I'm back!" Jane said.

"Boooooo," shouted everyone else.

After glaring at everyone, Jane cleared her throat, "So, I read at a kid's fan fiction site made with synthasite after learning what synthasite was! Yay me!"

"Good for you," Mudd said sarcastically. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have our jobs to do!" Mudd said while Jane pouted before leaving Windfall Island via a private jet, which Jane didn't really own… She _did_ leave a note behind for the owner, however, promising to return it as soon as she had used it for a few days. Unfortunately, Jane never got the chance to use it that long, because as soon as she got home to pack for a highly anticipated vacation, Jane was arrested. So sad. Please contact the police and ask them to release Jane, as she didn't mean to steal anything, just borrow…without asking.

Mudd cleared his throat, interrupting Jane's super secret way to communicate with the outside world, "So, this is a question from Dea of Letum (hope I spelt it right!). **Vaati: how did you get back to the human world since the door only opens every 100 years?**" Mudd read

"Hey, that's a good one," Midna said as all the Zelda characters turned to look at Vaati.

"Yo yo yo, check it out dawgs! I dunno."

"…That's your answer!?" Mudd asked impatiently.

"Well… yeah…"

"That's not an answer! Think of something else!"

"Ok… Oh, now I remember! I found the back door!"

"That's your answer!?"

"What's wrong with that one??" Vaati shouted.

"Well, it's kind of short. Anyway, let's continue! Another one from Dea of Letum! **Vaati: Dare ya to be handcuffed to Ezlo for a chapter!**"

"No way, uhuh!" Vaati said, crossing his arms stubbornly as Ezlo, the old, wise Minish guy came walking over.

"Hey everybody! Where's my old friend Link?"

"Nobody knows," Midna said in a bored voice as Mudd quickly handcuffed Vaati and Ezlo together.

"Well hi there, Vaati! I didn't see you down there!" Ezlo said happily.

"Oh here we go with the short jokes again!" Vaati said, scowling at the old man. "Don't you ever quit it? You're not exactly tall yourself you know!"

"What's that, Vaati? Speak up, you know I can't hear you from way up here!"

"Well…let's move on!" Mudd said before Vaati could explode. "Here's a question from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Ganondorf: How is that pink dress coming along?**"

"Oh! I finished it! See?" Ganondorf said, standing up happily and twirling around in his new, pink dress that was covered in different colored flowers and bows.

"Pretty!" Zelda said, clapping happily.

"Yeah well, it's mine, so back off!" Ganondorf said, and he went stomping off to continue making another doily.

Zelda glared after Ganondorf and then marched off in the opposite direction.

"Ok…here's another one from-" But before Mudd could continue, Ilia came running back, covered in glue from head to foot.

"Hi everyone, I'm back!" Ilia said, striking a pose with her arms in the air.

"What happened to you?" Midna asked.

Ilia pouted and stopped posing for the nonexistent cameras, "Well…"

* * *

…Flashback…

"So, you're the new guy then?" asked one of the glue workers.

"Excuse me!? Do I look like a guy to you!?" Ilia shrieked.

"Uh…anyway, all you have to do is stand next to this here conveyor belt and place the labels on the bottles as they come. Think you can handle that?"

"Does it look like I can handle that!?" Ilia shrieked again without really realizing what she was saying. The other worker just sighed and rolled his eyes before walking off. Ilia shrugged and then got to work. Everything seemed to be going well until suddenly Ilia noticed that she had been placing the labels on upside down. She gave a startled squeak before jumping onto the conveyor belt and running after the very first bottle of glue she had done.

"Hey, what are you doing!?" the same worker from before shouted. "The belt can't handle all that extra weight!"

"Shut up, fool! I know what I'm doing!" Ilia shouted back, right before the entire machine collapsed. Before anyone knew what was going on, the entire factory was covered with spilt glue. "Nooooo, I'm all sticky now!" Ilia screamed. She grabbed the one worker she knew by his shirt collar before shaking him angrily, "Do you know how long it took me to get my hair perfect his morning!?" she hollered.

"I'm guessing a while…" the man grumbled.

"Darn right! I quit!" And with that said, the young girl went stomping off, having just the slightest trouble walking as the glue started to dry on her shoes and stuck to the floor.

…End of Flashback…

* * *

"Wow, you have the worst luck," Midna said, trying to hold back her laughter as Ilia started to panic about the glue still being in her hair.

"I know," Ilia said with a sob.

"Well, maybe reading a dare or something will make you feel better!" Mudd offered as he handed the girl the next dare.

"Ok," Ilia said, sniffling slightly. "Let's see, this dare is from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule.** Ilia: I dare you to tell everyone that Tingle is your best friend! And you have to say it loud enough for the whole world to hear!**"

"Or not…" Mudd said as Ilia started to cry even louder.

"You were wrong, cohost, it didn't make me feel better!" she shouted, hitting Mudd with a giant rolling pin that she had somehow found. After a while the girl calmed down, and she sighed as she looked over at where Tingle was staring at her hopefully. "Tingle is my best friend…" Ilia mumbled.

"What was that? Speak up, matey!" Tetra said, highly amused.

"Tingle is my best friend!" Ilia shouted loudly, making the whole world cower in fear.

The world, minus Tingle that is. "Ohhhhhhhh, you are Tingle's best friend too!" Tingle said, dancing around happily. "Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! These are Tingle's magic words, and now they can be yours as well!"

"Awwww," said everyone else, except for Ilia, as she just trying to figure out how she was supposed to get out of this predicament.

"That is so sweet!" Zelda said, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Alrighty then! Moving on!" Mudd said, deciding that Ilia wasn't in the best condition to read reviews right then. "Here's another dare from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Tingle: I dare you to annoy Midna.**"

"What!?" Midna shouted.

"Ohhhhhh, thank you, wonderful reviewer! Tingle loves you!" Tingle said happily, instantly mailing a very nice thank you card to The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule.

"Yeah, thanks, reviewer," Midna grumbled, not mailing a thank you card.

"Would you like to buy a map?" Tingle asked Midna. "I have a lot of maps that-" But Tingle never got the chance to finish his sales pitch, as Midna, with just the wave of her hand, warped Tingle into the middle of the desert. "Uh…Tingle does not have a map of this place…" Tingle said nervously.

"That's totally cheating!" Zelda scolded Midna.

"Is not!" Midna said cheerfully.

"Next dare!" Mudd said. "No wait, it's a question! From The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Link: Do you like ostriches?**"

Instantly Link reappeared in a puff of smoke, realized that he had warped himself right over the ocean, fell into the ocean, swam to shore, took a few hours to dry off, and then turned to Mudd so he could answer the question, which he had forgotten, so Mudd had to repeat it. "Hmm, ostriches? As a matter of fact, I do! I'm actually the leader of the Ostrich Fan Club!"

"How many members do you have?" Midna asked.

"Uh…it's just me. But I just started it…a few years ago. I just need a way to spread the news about the club and then-"

"Ok! Hey everyone, this guy has an ostrich fan club!" Midna shouted. She waited for a few minutes before turning back to Link, "Yeah…that's not really working."

"Oh Midna. Midna Midna Midna," Link said, shaking his head. "You can mock me all you want, but someday I'll have the most popular club ever! You'll see!" Link then quickly warped out, leaving Midna and Tetra to start making fun of his club even more.

"Moving on, everyone!" Mudd said. "Here's a dare from Lostwonder15! **Aryll (Link's little sister): Make the seagulls attack Gaybora (again).**"

"Darn!" the giant owl said miserably.

"Ok!" said Aryll, a little girl with blond pigtails and bright blue eyes. With a casual wave of her hand (which she had learned from studying Midna very carefully), she had a large flock of seagulls flying straight towards the giant, annoying, talking owl. "Now where's my big brother!?" Aryll shouted. "Big brother! Big brother!"

"What?!" Link snapped as he appeared next to her.

"Big brother! I'm hungry, buy me some ice cream!"

"But I don't think they have any ice-"

"Pwease?" Aryll said, showing him the super power that all little kids have, the infamous puppy dog eyes.

"Oh alright, come on…" Link said, sighing tiredly.

"Yay! You're the best, big brother!" Aryll said, and she grabbed his hand before pulling him towards the town.

"Awwwww," everyone else said, again.

"That is just so cute!" Zelda said.

"You're getting really sentimental in your old age," Midna commented.

"Yeah, I guess I- wait, what!? I am not OLD!!" Zelda screamed. The princess of destiny was just about to start whacking Midna with her super cool sword, when she suddenly dropped it. "Oops! Hang on, I got it!" Zelda said.

"You keep dropping that thing…" Midna said as Zelda scooped up her sword and wiped a few grass strands off of it.

"I know, and one time I accidentally dropped it, and stupid Zant thought I was actually surrendering! What's up with that? I didn't mean to drop it!"

"It's because you're old," Midna said casually, an evil grin on her face. Soon the two princesses were running around the town, one of them shouting out insults, and the other trying to use her sword on the insulting one.

"Oooookay… Let's continue!" Mudd said. "Here's another from Lostwonder15! **Zelda! Got it! Took me awhile: Uh...Make Ilia shut up?**"

"I'm on it!" Zelda shouted as she continued chasing after Midna.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" Ilia asked as she exited the hairstylist place that had just arrived. She was completely glue-free now. Unfortunately for her, Zelda decided that the only way to get Ilia to be quiet was to throw her into the ocean. "My hair!" Ilia screamed after she had resurfaced. "It's ruined again!"

"Today just isn't her day…" Mudd said sympathetically. "Anyway, here's another from Lostwonder15! **Jane: Make Link eat all the pies so HE gets fat!**"

"Hiya everyone!" Jane said as she appeared in the same manner that Link had been using recently. "That's right, I escaped from prison! Bwahahaha!"

"It's an escaped prisoner! Run!" screamed one of the random Zelda characters.

"Hmm, make Link eat the pies, eh? I like it!" Jane said, ignoring all of the characters as they ran around in a mad panic. "Hey, Link, get over here!" Jane shouted.

Link, whose quest to find some ice cream for his little sister was so far failing, quickly ran over to Jane, pulling Aryll along with him. "I wanted ice cream!" Aryll shouted at Link.

"Here Link, eat these pies. I'll find a babysitter for Aryll…" Jane said, watching as Aryll continually stomped on Link's foot.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Yum, pie! Ow," Link said.

"Oy, Grandma, get over here! …Please," Jane said.

"Heeeeeeeeere's Grandmama!" Link and Aryll's grandmother said happily as she skipped over to where Link was stuffing all of the pies into his mouth.

"Watch Aryll so she doesn't kill Link's foot," Jane said.

"Oh no you didn't!" Grandma said angrily. "Uhuh, you did not just bring me all the way here to watch my granddaughter! I do that everyday, foo!" Grandma said, much to everyone's surprise, especially Link and Aryll's.

"Grandma? You always said to say nice things, or not say anything at all!" Link said, between bites of pie.

"Oh…right…Fine, I'll watch Aryll."

"Yay! I want ice cream!" Aryll said, getting ready to stomp on her grandmother's foot if she said no.

"Ok, let's go," Grandma said tiredly.

"Yay!"

"Bye Grandma!" both Link and Jane shouted after the two.

"I'm not your grandmother!" Grandma shouted back at Jane, who pouted.

"Well, let me know how the pie eating thing goes," Jane said, getting ready to leave.

"Where are you going!?" Mudd demanded.

"I'm off to disney land! Wheeeee! No, not really. I'm just going to sit at my computer desk and stare blankly at the screen until I go blind. Bwahahaha! See you!"

"Wow, she changed after being in prison for…a whopping ten seconds…" Zelda commented after Jane had left before continuing her mission to whack Midna with her super kewl sword.

"And we're moving on!" Mudd said, staring at the two girls who weren't acting princess-like at all. "Another dare from Lostwonder15! **Midna: Sneak around Castle town with the Mission impossible music playing and wear sunglasses and a black cape! Mission, DESTROY TINGLE's MAPS!**"

"Ok, I was getting tired of this anyway," Midna said, and she quickly warped Zelda into the desert where Tingle was still trying to find his way out.

"Noooooooo!" Zelda screamed.

"Ok, and I'm off!" Midna said, and she warped to Castle Town to find Tingle's house, so she could destroy his maps. "First stop, Malo Mart (or whatever it's called)!" Midna said, and she marched into the store. After warping the little baby who Jane originally thought was a girl what with the bow in the hair and everything, but was apparently a boy, into the desert as well, Midna grabbed some sunglasses, a cool cape, and a boom box so she could play the Mission Impossible theme song over and over again as she went. Midna was just about to walk outside when she stopped and warped Malo back into the store. "Just in time! I was about to be hit by a pile of sand that Ilia and Tingle were throwing at me!" Malo said, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yeah whatever, just tell me where Tingle's house is," Midna said.

"Oh, he's actually Agitha the creepy bug girl's roommate."

"Figures," Midna said before warping Malo back into the desert, where he was hit by the large pile of sand anyway.

Once outside, Midna pressed the play button on her boom box and started to do back flips down the empty street. She stopped suddenly when her music playing device started to play the Double-O Seven song instead (007). "What the heck is that!?" Midna shouted, opening up her boom box. To her surprise, Navi was inside with a whole orchestra of tiny fairies who were all playing the theme song. "Navi, what are you doing?!" Midna shouted.

"Look?" Navi said, which, when translated, said "I'm conducting, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well that's the wrong song! Play the other one!" Midna said impatiently.

(quick author note: from now on, Navi's translation stuff will just be placed in the parenthesis things)

"Hey!(Don't you take that tone with me, missy, I'm way older than you and I know my theme songs!)" Navi shouted.

"It is so wrong!" Midna argued. "Just play the other one!"

"Listen! (Listen!)" Navi then had half of her orchestra play the Double-O Seven theme song, and the other half play the Mission Impossible one.

"That sounds terrible!" Midna shouted over the conflicting songs, covering her ears since she had never gotten her earplugs back.

"Hey! (Well fine, we'll just humor you, even though you know that I know that you know I was right the first time!)"

"Thank you!" Midna said when just the Mission Impossible song started in.

Soon Midna was back to doing her back flips. After accidentally crashing into a few things along the way, she finally made it to Agitha the creepy bug girl's house. Midna used her super ninja skills to break the door down before cart wheeling into the house. "Hi there! Do you have any bugs for the ball?" the creepy girl asked.

"No," Midna said, and she warped the girl into the desert where Zelda, Tingle, and Malo were being chased by a bunch of moblins on giant pigs.

"Here buggy buggy!" Agitha said, ignoring the battle that was going on in back of her as she chased after a small bug.

"Now then, where are those maps?" Midna asked as she looked around, her theme song still playing. "Ew ew ew ew ewewewewew!" Midna shouted when she finally realized that she was surrounded by bugs. "Navi!"

"Listen? (Whaddya want?)"

"Do something!"

"Hey! (You do something, I'm busy conducting!)"

"Ew!" Midna said again before quickly warping the bugs into the desert.

"Noooooooooooo!" Zelda screamed. "They're in my hair! Get 'em off!!"

"No buggys! No!" Agitha shouted as she tried to catch them all in her tiny bug net.

"Tingle will help, roommate!"

"I'm out of here…" Malo said, and he waddled off towards civilization. The moblins got sad that they were being ignored, and so they went home as well.

Meanwhile, Midna was still searching for the mysterious maps. "Ahha! I got them!" Midna shouted as she pulled out a bunch of maps that had been stored in a safe with the combination of just one two three four. "Prepare to meet your doom, maps!" Midna said in a dramatic voice before pulling out a shredder from under her cloak and sending the maps through it. "There we go! Now we've got some confetti too!" Midna said, and she stuffed all of the shredded maps into her pocket before warping back to Windfall Island.

"Midna! You're back!" Link shouted as soon as she arrived near the docks. Midna turned to face Link and was astonished to see that the hero had gained at least ten times his original weight. The giant hero waddled over to where Midna was staring at him. "Hi!" Link said, trying to wave but barely able to lift his hand.

"Link, go on a diet!" Midna ordered before walking off.

"Oh…ok," Link said sadly, and he wandered off to try and lose some weight.

After a few more seconds of searching, Midna finally found the others. Everyone was gathered in the bomb shop, including the bomb shop owner, who had been tied up for some reason. "What happened with him?" Midna asked Mudd.

"Oh, the pirates did that. He was being really nice and everything. I guess it's just a habit with them by now…" Mudd said thoughtfully. "Alright people, gather 'round! It's time for some more dares and questions!"

"Hooray!" everyone else shouted.

"I wanted ice cream!" Aryll screeched in her grandmother's ear.

"I told you, they don't have any ice cream here!" Grandma said impatiently.

"Alright, here's the next question!" Ilia said, her hair completely back to normal. "It's from Lostwonder15! **Talon: How do you feel about having a mental child that goes around singing odd songs all the time?**"

"What in tarnation!?" Talon shouted, waking up suddenly when Tetra accidentally dropped a few bombs that she had been stealing. "Hmm, how do I feel about Malon…I guess I'm ok with it. I'm going through therapy now." Talon quickly hit his head with a large hammer and instantly went back to sleep.

"That's not really therapy…" Saria said.

"What in tarnation!?"

"Nothing!" Saria said quickly.

"Good!" Talon said, and he went back to sleep once again.

"Ok…next! Here's a dare from Lostwonder15!" Ilia said. "**Navi: (Spoiler) Fly away like you did at the end of Ocarina of Time. At least Link couldn't hear you anymore.**"

"Hey… listen watch out! Look! (You all think you can get rid of me now…but I'll be back, so you better watch out! Bwahahahahaha!)" Navi shouted as she flew out of the boom box that was still playing the Mission Impossible theme song. The little fairy packed a few small suitcases and then flew through the window, leaving her orchestra to figure out how to keep playing together without a conductor. They failed, and so they joined Navi on her vacation at Link's private island, which wasn't really his anymore because the school teacher had taken it back, and so they just sort of sat around and stared at each other the whole time in awkward silence.

"Aaaaannnnnnnddddddd, that's it!" Ilia said, taking one last look at all the reviews to make sure she hadn't missed anything.

"Alright, time for the game show!" Link said as he tried to fit through the doorway.

"Maybe we should do it outside this time…" Malon said.

"I thought I told you to go on a diet!" Midna shouted.

* * *

"Ok, everyone, it's time for…Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!" Link said, waking everyone in the village up, since they were doing the game show at two in the morning.

"Shut up!" Someone shouted, and he threw a large shoe at Link.

Link, who was still kind of chubby, hardly felt it. "Today's contestant is…Senom299()!"

"Hooray!" shouted the audience, only to be pelted by a barrage of old boots from the same angry villager.

"Alright, Senom299(), are you ready for the first question?" Link asked. "'Cause here it is!" he said before the contestant could respond. "What type of magical creature is Navi from Ocarina of Time?

a) a fairy  
b) a mountain giant who enjoys hitting things with a giant club  
c) an immortal cucco (aka chicken)"

"Ahha, I think I know this one!" Link said. Unfortunately, he was still too chubby to lift his arm high enough to hit the buzzer, and so Senom299() got to answer first.

"This one is tooooo easy! The answer's A!"

"Yeah…that's right," Link said sadly. "Next question! How many years did Link age when he took the Master Sword in Ocarina of Time?

a) he didn't age, he actually regressed to a toddler stage  
b) seven years  
c) one thousand years, where he then ended up dying of old age the minute he left the Temple of Time before being revived by a bottled fairy, and then he quickly returned the Master Sword to where it belonged, deciding that saving the world just wasn't worth it"

Once again, Link had trouble lifting his hand high enough to reach the buzzer, and so Senom299() got to answer, "Muhahaha! I know this one too! B!"

"Fine! I was going to say C anyway…" Link grumbled as their new theme song started to play.

This time, it was the Wind's Requiem from Wind Waker.

* * *

…Over at the dock…

"Arrrrr, me mateys, what took you so long!" Tetra shouted at the small boat that was towing her pirate ship to shore.

"Sorry, Captain, the hole was bigger than we first thought! But your ship is all fixed and ready to go now!" said one of the repairers. Suddenly the wind changed course, which sent both ships flying in the opposite direction.

"Nooooooo! My ship!" Tetra wailed. She leaped into the water and started to swim after it, but to no avail.

"Don't worry, Captain, we'll come back as soon as this wind changes back!" shouted the repair crew as the ships disappeared into the horizon.

Tetra's eyes narrowed angrily, "Link…" she hissed before swimming back to shore.

* * *

…back at Windfall Island…

"Hahahaha, I gots me a Golden Rupee!" Senom299() shouted, holding up the giant golden rupee.

"And a new record!" Link said. "You actually got both questions right, instead of just one!"

"Hooray!" shouted the audience, who were once again hit with even more boots.

"How many of those things do you have!?" Vaati, who was still handcuffed to Ezlo, shouted.

"Now, Vaati, calm down. I'm sure he didn't mean to hit us with his many boots!" Ezlo said.

"You always have to have the last word, don't you!?"

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"There, you did it again!"

"Vaati, I'm not a child. It doesn't matter who gets the last word," Ezlo said, shaking his head at his old apprentice.

"Then stop talking," Vaati said smugly.

"I don't want to," Ezlo said in the same tone.

"There, you-"

"I'm a boot collector, now be quiet!" shouted the villager.

"I gots me a Golden Rupee!" Senom299() shouted at the villager. Said villager tried to throw a boot at the winning contestant, but the footwear bounced off of the golden rupee and hit Midna instead. Midna got mad, and warped the boot collector into the desert where he then joined the moblins with the giant pigs and turned them all into boot collectors, until one of them rebelled and started collecting stamps instead. This started a big war, but that story is completely unrelated to this one.

"Thanks for coming, Senom299()! See you around!" Link said, and he tried to push the contestant off of the stage. He failed, however, because he had gained even more weight during the game show by eating thirty tubs of ice cream, and so Mudd had to do it instead. As soon as he turned around, he saw that Tetra was trying to get Link to move so he could walk the plank, which she had somehow managed to get. Link, however, was quite content to just ignore the angry pirate and eat more ice cream.

Tetra was just starting to build a giant pulley system that would swing Link into the ocean when suddenly Mudd came racing up to the group. "I did it!"

"Did what?" Link asked, pausing in his eating for the time.

"I'm the host of this show! I had to fill out five hundred different forms, but I've finally been approved! Bwahahahahahaha-"

"Ok, Mudd, it's been three chapters, time for you to go home!" Jane said, suddenly appearing.

"What!? But I…I just got promoted!" Mudd protested.

Jane was about to say something when suddenly everyone else crowded around her, "Who's the next host!?" they shouted.

"I don't know, I'm working on it!" Jane snapped impatiently.

"Boooooo," everyone booed.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Anyway, thanks for coming, Mudd! Midna, would you make sure he gets home? I'm busy!" And with that, Jane left.

Midna sighed, "Why do I have to do everything around here?"

She was just about to warp Mudd home when suddenly the newly promoted, newly fired host stopped her. "Wait! I want to give a farewell speech!"

Midna sighed tiredly, "Fine."

"Ok! I'd just like to say that I-" But Mudd never got the chance to finish, as Midna got bored and so she quickly warped him back to Starlll.

Link waddled over to stand next to the tall Twili and sniffed sadly, "I'm gonna miss that little guy!"

Midna gave a disgusted sigh, "What is wrong with everyone!? Everyone's so sentimental all the sudden!" She gave Link and incredulous look when the hero started to cry. "Link, get over it. We'll probably see him again sometime anyway."

"Muuuuuuuuudd! Why did he have to leave?? He was too young to die!" Link wailed.

"Oh brother," Midna grumbled, and she walked off, leaving Link as he continued to cry about Mudd's departure.

* * *

**One more chapter left! Well, actually two, if you include the bonus chapter with Malon, Midna, and Ruto's quest to find Lon Lon Ranch's horses. I might add a few other things in the bonus chapter too, just for fun (if I can think of anything else to add anyway...). Thanks to Starlll for letting me use Mudd! He was great! And Lostwonder15 is our next and final game show contestant! Once again, I still have to think of some questions, so I'll post them in a special chapter for you as soon as I do that. Also, just for fun, let's have a vote thing! Who gets to be the next host and read the reviews! You can pick anyone (as long as he/she/it is from a Zelda game)! Sound boring? Well...probably because it is, but I can't decide who the next host should be, and so I'm just letting you guys pick instead. :-)**

**Anyways, thanks for reading, I hope you all liked this chapter! See you later (or as my brother likes to write it, Cya l8r...he likes to text message. A lot.)**


	8. special question chapter2

**Ok, here's your questions, Lostwonder15! Good luck! And remember, there's no time limit.  
And I guess I could make a poll thingy for who will be the next host...I'll have to figure out how to do that, lol. So keep your eyes out for that everyone! It might be on my profile later today, or maybe tomorrow...or maybe some other day... But it will be there! I always wanted to make a poll anyway :-D **

* * *

1. What is the name of the evil mask in Majora's Mask?  
a) the bunny rabbit mask  
b) Majora's Mask  
c) Ahha, trick question! It was actually…an evil boot!

2. What is Link's main mode of transportation in Wind Waker?  
a) a boat  
b) a giant snail (slow and steady wins the race!)  
c) he just swam… a lot


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone, sorry for the wait! I have a pretty good excuse though... Um... I just got Fable 2... Oh wait! I have an even better one! I'm entering this short short story competition thing, so I've been sort of busy with that. Anyway, I think this is the longest chapter I've written for anything! It was about thirty pages long with the number 12 font! Since it's so long I was planning on putting in extra divider lines, but...they didn't save :-(  
It reminded me of when I first started here. They didn't save then either. I think those lines secretly hate me!**** Oh, and there's a possibility, however small, that I might've missed a few dares or questions. There were so many this time it was sort of hard to keep track of them all! I'm pretty sure I got them all, but if I missed any let me know and I can stick them in for the bonus chapter (but no new ones please!).**

**And I might start this up again sometime, but it won't be for a while. Thanks so much for reviewing everyone! Oh, and a special thanks to keybladeboy for letting me have his OC, Xalin, for the chapter!  
**

**

* * *

**Chapter 7  
Party Planning

"Ow! Zelda, Vaati threw a rock at me!" Ezlo shouted in a whiny voice.

"So? What do I care!?" Zelda shouted.

"She's nervous about the results of the vote on who the next host is," Link explained to Ezlo, who was still being hit over the head with a rock by a very upset Vaati.

"Take that, stupid guy who thinks short jokes are funny when you are the same size as me, yo!" the Minish shouted.

"Shouldn't we just separate them?" Saria asked.

"Their dare was to be handcuffed together, and Jane's keeping them that way," Midna said, obviously enjoying the show.

Suddenly the strange messenger guy who was always running around came bursting into the café where everyone else was. "Heeeeeey, Mr. Link!"

Link sighed tiredly, "Right here," he said, raising his hand over the heads of the others.

"I have one letter for you here! Here you go! I might have more for you, so don't run away from me if you see me heading towards you at high speeds!" the messenger said, and he went running off as soon as his delivery was in Link's hands.

"Ok, looks like the results from the vote are in!" Link said cheerfully as he tore the envelope open.

"I'm not nervous!" Zelda shouted, chewing on her nails.

"…Ok, good for you," Link said, frowning slightly at the princess. "Now then, the winner is… Epona!"

"What!?" Zelda shrieked just as the large horse came trotting inside.

"Neigh neigh, whinny!" Epona said.

"Hmm…I think we need a translator for the horse…" Saria said.

Right as Saria finished saying that Malon came crashing through the window, much to the dismay of the café owner. "I can understand horses!" she said, her eyes sparkling.

"No, I can!" Ilia screamed, crashing through another window.

"Alright that is it!" the café owner shouted. "I am tired of you people waking me up at three in the morning for a snack, or because you're bored, and I'm tired of you breaking my windows!" The young woman's eye twitched when Talon came crashing through yet another window. "Everyone out! You are banned from my café!" she screeched.

"What in tarnation!?" Talon asked as he and a few others were picked up and tossed outside. All the others made a mad dash for the nearest exit in order to escape the wrath of the café owner. This exit happened to be the last remaining window.

"And stay out!" the owner shouted after them, and she started to board up her broken windows.

"Alright, Epona, what's the first dare?" Link asked as everyone found places to sit outside. The hero gave a startled scream when he saw that Epona was chewing away happily on all the reviews. "Noooooooo!" Link screamed. "Save the reviews!" Finally Link managed to distract the horse with a carrot and save all of the many dares and truths. "Ok, let's try this again. Epona, what's the first dare?" Link asked, holding up the review so that the horse could read it but not eat it.

"Neigh, whinny!"

Ilia and Malon cleared their throats before translating, "Oh my gosh! So many dares, how am I supposed to read them all!? Especially if stupid Link can't hold the darn review steady! Anyway… This first one is from Senom299()!** OoT: Pink STILL Stinks. LOL**."

"Ahha! I though you would say that, so I made up a bunch of arguments as to how pink is the best color ever!" Zelda said before cackling maniacally. "Now then. Argument one, pink is-"

"Time's up! Moving on!" Link said.

"But I didn't even get to-"

"Time's up for your protest too! Now then, Epona, please continue!" Link said cheerfully while Zelda went stomping off.

"Neigh! (Here's a dare from Senom299(). **Ganondorf: Write a fanfic of the book. Like with 5 chapters.**"

"You mean the book that I wrote that made me famous and a multi-millionaire?" Ganondorf asked from the middle of his large fan group who were insisting that he write a few autographs for them. "Ok! I'll be back!"

"Let's keep going while he's doing that…" Link said, watching with envy as Ganondorf's fan group ran after him.

"Neigh! (A question from Senom299()! **Jane: Did you REALLY see the site? It was actually mine =P**)"

"No way!" Jane said, suddenly appearing. "You made that sight? Awesome! I think my favorite one was "Mario speaks to an author", that one was hilarious! And the-"

"Time's up!" Link said happily.

"Why you-"

"And we're moving on!" Link said, interrupting Jane's angry protest.

"Neigh! (Here's a dare from PY687! **Dare 1: I dare Zelda to send Drew and Py back to... wait, wrong story. I meant... uh... Let me get back to you on that.**)"

"Oh I know you!" Jane said happily. "You're writing that one funny story, Remedies for the Ill 3! I-"

"Next!" Link said, really getting into his role as annoying interrupting guy.

"You better watch it, Link, or I'll-"

"I said next!"

Jane glared angrily at Link before crossing her arms and grumbling under her breath about talking more later.

"Neigh! (**Dare 2: I dare Jane to give Link superpowers.**)"

"No way!" Jane shouted.

"Yes! Thank you!" Link said before bursting into dance.

"But I don't wanna give Link super powers," Jane whined as Link continued to dance.

"Neigh! (That's the dare, so you better do it or I'll fire you!)"

"You can't fire me! I created you! Bwahahahahaha!" Jane's cackling instantly ceased when suddenly the Nintendo people came marching towards her.

"Actually, we made Epona, and so you're under arrest!"

"Darn!"

"That's the second time she's gotten arrested!" Midna commented.

"You'll never get me alive!" Jane screeched, and she went running off to find a way off of Windfall Island. While the Nintendo people chased her around the island, she decided to might as well give Link super powers and see what happened.

"Yay! Now I am all powerful!" Link shouted.

"Noooooo! I wanted to be all powerful first!" Ganondorf said with a pout.

"Muhahaha! With my new found powers…I think I'll summon the pizza man!"

"That's it?" Midna asked incredulously as a small man in a chef's outfit suddenly appeared.

"What is it, what do you want?" the man snapped at Link, who was clapping happily for himself.

"Duh! I summoned a pizza guy, so I obviously want a pizza!" Link shouted.

"Fine, I'll make the pizza, but I have a bunch of orders to finish before you, so I'll get to you by Monday!"

"Monday? But…that's…a long time from now," Link said with a sad face.

"Too bad! You could've just called me and made a pre-order, but noooooo! Mr. All-powerful guy wants pizza now! Now I have to get back to my restaurant!"

"Ok, bye pizza guy," Link said sadly as the short man went running off to catch up with Jane, who had managed to find a boat.

"Neigh, neigh! (Moving on! Another dare from PY687! **Dare 1 (cont.): Oh yeah! I dare the Happy Mask Salesman (wherever he is) to give away all of his masks. After that, he has to go to Ganondorf and destroy his doily so Ganondorf will never be able to finish his dare!**)"

"Hahahahahaha, t'is I, the Happy Mask Salesman!" shouted the tall man as he came charging towards the group, avoiding the army of Nintendo people as he went. "Wait a second…" the man said, finally realizing what the dare had said. "I make a living off of these masks! I can't just give them away!"

"If you don't give them away, you can never destroy Ganondorf's doily!" Link threatened.

The mask salesman looked over to where Ganondorf was nearly finished with the next world's largest doily. "Oh, it would be so much fun to ruin his project, and therefore his day… Alright, fine! Here you go, kids, knock yourselves out!"

"Hooray!" shouted a bunch of random kids that had just suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Ack! More students to spread joy to!" The school teacher, Miss Marie, said anxiously. "So many students… I think I'll make today a holiday! So long, losers!" And with that, the teacher went swimming after Jane and the pizza guy's boat, which was already halfway to Outset Island (Jane was hoping to 'borrow' some of Grandma's soup before she went home).

"Hahahahaha, time to destroy Ganondorf's doily!" the Happy Mask Salesman said, and he raced over to where Ganondorf was knitting his giant doily and working on his five chaptered fan fiction for his book, all at the same time.

"Darn you, Happy Mask Salesman!" shouted Ganondorf as the merchant snatched the doily away and pulled it apart. "I was so close to finishing it!"

"Hahahahaha! Well, I'm out of here. Now that I got rid of my only source of income, I have to find a new job!" said the Happy Mask Salesman, and he went skipping off.

Before Epona could start to read the next review that Link was holding up, Ganondorf came stomping towards them, grumbling about having to re-knit the whole doily. "Ok, I finished my fan fiction story!" he said as soon as he had reached them.

"Let's hear it then!" Link said excitedly.

"Ok!" Ganondorf cleared his throat and was about to start reading when suddenly Tetra came running towards him, shouting that her ship had finally arrived. The young pirate accidentally crashed into the Gerudo, which caused him to drop all of his chapters. Epona then pranced over and promptly ate them. "Nooooooooo!" Ganondorf shouted angrily.

"Neigh! (Yeah that's right, I ate your story! Whatcha gonna do about it?)"

"I'll get you, darn horse!"

Link quickly stepped between the horse and Ganondorf before they could start fighting, "Alright, let's just calm down and get on Tetra's boat-"

"What are you talking about? I'm not letting you on my boat!" Tetra shouted. "We still have to put more food on it, and I'm not going to let you get in the way! We'll be ready to go by tonight!" Tetra said as she marched back to the dock to supervise the people who were re-supplying the ship. "Don't be late, or we're leaving without you lot!" she shouted back at them with a warning glare.

"Ok… Anyway, next dare!" Link said happily.

"Neigh! (This next dare is from Sott!** Jane: Don't hate me but... First, send all your Gold in WoW to my main character(muhhahahaha!). Then, delete all your WoW characters. First, the lowest level one, then, at the end, the highest one. Muhahahaha!**)"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!" Jane screamed, her voice hearable even from the long distance. "I worked hard to get to level…uh…I forgot what level I am! Forty something… Anyway, I'll never delete her, never! Bwahahahahahaha!"

"Jane's finally lost it…" Midna said quietly.

"And I like my money! It's so shiny. It's my precious!" Jane then turned into Gollum and lived most of her life in the mountains, playing World of Warcraft on her laptop. Until…one day an annoying person came into her cave and stole her laptop, claiming it had to be melted in a giant volcano or the world would end. Jane chased after this person, and then after his nephew, but never managed to get her laptop back. It's a sad story, really.

"…Anyway… let's go to the next dare!" Link said hesitantly.

"Neigh! (Another dare from Sott! **Owl: I'm back! Muhahahaha! Go find a bunch of seagulls and get them really mad. Wait there for some minutes, then go and give everybody bats and put masking tape on your beak and now everybody has to hit you with the bats all the time they want to.**)"

"I love Sott! I hate you," the giant owl said, already searching for a flock of seagulls. They weren't too hard to find, as most of them were surrounding Aryll as she tried to create the world's first scoop of ice cream. The owl cleared his throat, "I love Sott! Even though I know I'll regret this, I just love annoying people!" he said happily before shouting at the seagulls and claiming that they were stupid and owls were totally smarter. The flock slowly turned to face the giant owl and glared angrily at him, giving him a chance to shut up before they attacked. After a few seconds the owl still wasn't stopping, and so the seagulls took off and charged at the owl just as he was asking them if he wanted to hear the insults again.

"And starting the clock!" Link said, pulling out an old fashioned device that Hylians used to tell time: the sun dial! "I happen to be a member of the sundial association," Link said proudly.

"How many clubs are you in!?" Midna shouted at him.

"Just three. The ostrich fan club, the sundial association, and the ice cream team!"

"What!?" Aryll shouted. "So ice cream does exist! I want it I want it I want it I want it!"

"Thanks a lot, Link," Grandma said crossly as Aryll continued to throw a temper tantrum.

"Oops…sorry…"

"How much time until I can leave?!" the giant owl screamed from inside the flock of seagulls.

"Oh…whoops! You can leave now!" Link said, wincing nervously when he saw that almost ten minutes had passed.

"Finally!" the owl said as he exited the angry flock. The seagulls instantly vanished for some reason, and so the owl was able to easily gather up some baseball bats. "Here you go," he grumbled, passing them out.

"Hooray! Fun!" Aryll shouted. "I want to hit birdy too!"

"Link, give Aryll a bat," Grandma ordered.

"But, Grandma," Link protested in a whiny voice. "I was going to hit the bird with my friends!"

"You can take your little sister with you! I need some vacation time!" Grandma said, and she went marching off towards the docks, where she was instantly drafted into Tetra's pirate crew and loaded up with boxes to carry onboard.

"Fine," Link said with a pout, and he handed Aryll a bat. Immediately after receiving the item, the little girl ran full speed towards the giant owl and began to whack him over the head.

"Ow!" the owl whined, fortunately for him Aryll didn't have much muscle, and so he didn't really feel anything. With Aryll ruining all of their fun just by being there, Link and the others didn't join in. Instead they just sort of hung around and waited for Epona to read the next dare. The horse had forgotten about her job, however, and so she was currently playing that one game inside the windmill (the annoying one where you have to guess at where the squids are and shoot them…yeah. I could never win that one…).

After a few hours Link decided that they were running low on time, since Tetra would probably be finished getting ready to leave soon, and so he elected himself to be cohost. "Alright, next dare! Another one from Sott!** Link: Hug Malon.**" Link's smile slowly faded as he realized what he had just read. "I don't really like Malon…" he said, but it was too late. Malon had heard the dare and she was already charging towards him. "Ow," Link said as Malon pulled him into a hug, nearly crushing every bone in his body. "Uh, Midna? A little help here?" Link asked as he tried, and failed, to get away from the farm girl.

Midna gave a disgusted sigh, "What, do I have to do everything?! Fine." The Twili promptly warped Malon right next to Tetra. After saying a few startled arrrr's, the pirate forced Malon to work along with Grandma and help out with loading the ship.

"Alright then, next!" Link said calmly, pulling out the same review from Sott. "**Ilia: I hate you. So Midna has to make you a wolf. An ugly wolf with just one eye and the other one made out of glass, no ears and a wooden paw. Yay!**"

"Yay!" Midna cheered along before quickly turning Ilia into the previously specified wolf.

"I'm a doggie!" Ilia said happily, much to Midna's disappointment.

"Doesn't anything upset you?!" she shouted at Ilia, who just stared at the princess with her one good eye.

"I can't hear you," she said finally in a sing-song voice.

"Ok, how come she can talk normally and I couldn't?" Link asked, confused.

Everyone else just shrugged, except for Ilia, who was busy chasing her tail.

"It just doesn't seem fair. Anyway, let's continue! Here's a dare from Starlll! **Tingle: You have to fight a big octo... using your wind waker powers! (T. Bomb, float, potion, etc.)**"

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!" Tingle shouted before blowing up his balloon and flying off. Everyone ran to the beach and watched as Tingle flew over the ocean and started to randomly throw bombs down into the water. He must have hit something, because after a few seconds a giant octo leaped out of the water and ate him. Everyone stared at the spot where the octo had gone back underwater, wondering if they should do anything or not. Eventually they all just backed away slowly and then ran back to town.

"Moving on!" Link said while everyone else sat down nervously. "Another dare from Starlll! **Tetra: (Mudd is utterly lost without you) Do Niko's challenges.** And, **Niko: Make a bunch of challenges for Tetra.**"

"Arrrr, we don't have time for any silly challenges! We've got work to do!" Tetra shouted.

"Ahha! If you fail, I won't be the lowest ranking pirate anymore!" Niko said happily, and he went running off to set up some challenges.

"Um… don't be silly! I did the challenges already… And I passed them!" Tetra said nervously, which got everyone to become suspicious.

"You never passed the pirate tests?" Link asked.

"I just said I did!" Tetra shouted at him. She was about to yell at him some more when suddenly Niko came running back out and dragged the girl downstairs.

"Now this I have to see!" Midna said, and she, Link, and a few others (yes, I'm too lazy to name them all, just pick your favorites and go with that) ran downstairs after them.

"Uhhhhh, you can't come in here, this is Miss Tetra's room!" said a large pirate that had managed to get out of supplying the ship by pretending to protect Tetra's room.

"Shut up, we're not even trying to get inside!" Link said as they raced down the rest of the stairs. By the time they arrived, Niko was already showing Tetra how to swing to the different platforms that had been raised in the storage room.

"Arrr, I know how to do that, stupid Niko! Just step aside and let me show you how it's done!" Tetra said.

"Well, she's confident," Link said as Tetra rubbed her hands together and stared at the first rope. After a few minutes Midna got bored and so she snuck up behind the pirate and shoved her towards the swinging ropes.

"Arrrrrrrr!" Tetra screamed as she missed the rope and fell to the ground.

"Oy oy oy, what are you doing? Falling isn't part of the program, Captain!" Niko shouted.

"Oh shut it, Niko! Somebody pushed me!"

"Don't use excuses, Tetra!" Link said amusedly as Tetra climbed up the ladder and turned to face the rope once more.

"Alright mateys, here I be going!" Just as Tetra started to jump, Midna, who was enjoying herself, warped the rope out of the ship. "Arrrrrrrrrrr, that's it! Prepare to meet your doom, Midna!" Tetra shouted.

"Run!" Link screamed.

…ten minutes later…

"Did we lose her?" Link asked as the small group hid inside the island's prison.

"Of course we did, I warped her into one of the dungeons when we first started running!" Midna said casually, studying her nails.

"Why didn't you say anything!?" Link shouted as the others glared at Midna.

"I was having fun," Midna said, shrugging.

"Oh for crying out loud! Let's just go," Link grumbled, and the group went back outside and joined the others.

"Neigh! (Well it's about time you guys got here, we're about to do another dare!)" Epona scolded them. "Neigh! (This next dare is from Starlll! **Link: Do kareoke (James blunt or Dispatch only)**)"

"I don't even know who they are!" Link protested.

"That's ok, I researched them for you!" Saria said, handing Link a notebook full of notes.

"Hmm, I guess I'll just pick randomly!" Link said happily, and he soon started to sing Passerby, by Dispatch, because that's the only song Saria had actually managed to find the lyrics too… "I'm not crazy like my brother, but-"

"You don't have a brother!" Aryll screeched angrily.

Link sighed and lowered his microphone, "It's how the song goes!" he explained, trying to remain patient.

"Well I don't care! I want to do a dare! Me me me me me me m-"

"Why don't you go find Tetra," Link said.

"Oh good idea!" Midna said happily.

"Yeah I- no wait! Don't warp her into the dungeon!" Link shouted, but it was too late.

"Oops," Midna said, smiling nervously.

"Are you crazy!?" Link yelled at the princess.

"Nnnnooooo, just bored."

"Neigh! (Moving on everyone! Another dare from Starlll! **Ze...Zel... Zeller: (All three) Have an all out battle to see who gets bragging rights to be... the true prince of dust's knee!**"

"Ummmm, are you talking about me?" Zelda asked uncertainly.

"Neigh! (Who cares, just fight!)"

"With who!?" Zelda shouted.

"Here Zelda, take the Four Sword!" Link said, and he did a cool, slow motion move and threw the sword at Zelda, just like something from a movie! Unfortunately, Zelda wasn't really paying attention, and she got knocked out by the sword as its handle hit her on the head. "Oh come on, that would've been so cool if you had caught it!" Link said, pouting.

"Neigh! (Another dare from Starlll! **Minda: Participate in the Zalda fight. Wait, I mean the Princess of dust's knee.**)"

"Uhhh…" Midna said as she looked over at the unconscious Zelda. "Can I just take the sword?"

"No, it's mine! I didn't say you could have it!" Link shouted, and he grabbed the sword before running off…in slow motion! Everyone watched him with bored expressions as he did this, as they weren't moving in slow motion along with him.

"Nnnnneigh! (Oooook. Moving on! Another dare from Starlll!** Dark Link: Plan a party for the last episode and don't do anything else.**)"

"Ahha! An idea for the bonus chapter! Yay!" Jane said happily.

"Why can't Ganondorf do that? He's into the whole arts and crafts thing!" Dark Link protested as he suddenly appeared.

"I'm being _forced_ into liking arts and crafts! There's a difference!" Ganondorf protested, still knitting his doily.

"Fine! But just so you know, y'all are bringing your own food and drink!"

"…Then what are you going to do?" Saria asked.

"I dunno."

"Neigh! (Still doing Starlll's review! **Ruto: Help Dark Link.**)"

"Oh no," Dark Link said sadly as Ruto gave an excited scream and started to jump around.

"I get to help Link! I get to help Link!"

"I'm Dark Link, fool!"

Instantly Ruto stopped her celebrating, "Oh… But I don't like you!"

"Gee thanks. Let's just start planning the party," Dark Link said, and the two walked off, still glaring at each other.

"Neigh! (Another dare from Starlll! **Starl: let me guest star for the party scene. I write the dares in script form, so you know what I'm like, dashingly handsome, nobody knows what I really look like, Eighty-billion OC's at my disposal, Gets trampled on a daily basis.**)"

"Hmmmm, let me think about it…" Jane said. "Ok! See you at the party!"

"Did somebody say party?" Zelda asked, finally waking up. "I love parties! When's the party?"

"Who knows! Whenever Jane gets around to writing it…" Saria said.

Zelda gave an excited squeak, "I need to go shopping! I need an outfit!" Everyone watched as the princess went running off to find her outfit, stealing a few things as she went so she had some money.

"It's weird that a princess doesn't have any money…" Saria commented.

"She spent it all during an auction for a joy pendant," Makar said.

"Did she win at least?"

"Nope. I did!" Makar said, showing off the butterfly shaped necklace.

"Nice!"

Meanwhile, Epona hot gotten tired of reading the dares, and so she had appointed Ilia (who was still in wolf form) as co-cohost, since Link was nowhere to be seen. "Ok everyone! Here's a question from Starlll! **Malon: What did happen on your quest?**"

"Well… I'll tell you! First me and Midna (censored) and then (censored) and- (censored)… Alright, who's playing with the stupid censor button!?"

"Hey!" Navi said happily, continually jumping on the large button that emitted very loud beeps.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to wait for the bonus chapter to find out!" Malon said, glaring at Navi as she started to jump on the button once again.

Ilia, who was still earless, just nodded for awhile before realized that everyone was staring at her. "Oh! Time for another dare or question?"

Everyone nodded.

"Ok! Another question from Starlll!** Jabun: 1) speak in the new language (not latin)**"

Jabun, the giant fish, suddenly splashed onto the shore and started to speak in Ancient Hylian.

"What?" Ilia shouted at him as villagers ran towards the fish before trying to push him back into the ocean.

"I said I don't know the new language!" Jabun shouted. "Oh…oops. Darn, I ruined my aura of coolness!" he said with a pout as the villagers ran away from him, screaming something about possessed fish.

"I still can't hear you!" Ilia shouted. "Oh whatever, moving on! **2) Are you the reincarnation of Jabu-Jabu?**"

"Well… maybe I _am_ Jabu-Jabu! Muhahahahaha!"

"What'd you change your name for?" Midna asked.

"Hello! Jabu-Jabu? What kind of silly name is that! My parents said that they had named me that because it was 'different'. It was different alright! I got teased the whole time I was in Fishy School, and then in college, when I was learning how to be a god. My school years stank! But now, I found out how to change my name! And I also had some surgery done to get the 'cute cartoon' look that everyone seems to be going for… And now here I am!" the fish sighed when he saw that his story had put everyone else to sleep, including the few brave villagers who had decided to come back and help him get back into the water.

"Next question! From Starlll!" Ilia said happily (she was the only one who hadn't fallen asleep). "**Jabu-Jabu: Why do you inhale monsters (The tenticals)**"

"It's Jabun!" Jabun whined. "And I get hungry, alright! I don't question you about your eating habits!"

Ilia just nodded at him before continuing, "Still doing Starlll's. **Talon: I can't think of one for you.**"

"What in tarnation!?"

"**Vatti (or is it Vatii): Eat with Kirby.**"

"Actually it's Vaati, dawg! And who's Kirby? I never saw him before…" Vaati said, pulling Ezlo (who had fallen asleep along with the others) behind him.

"Hiiiiiii!" shouted a small, pink ball with hands, feet, and a face.

"You're strange looking, dawg!"

"Hiiiiiii!"

"Uh…hi."

"Here's some food for you guys!" Ilia said, pulling a picnic basket towards them.

"Hiiiiii!" Kirby shouted as Vaati cautiously opened the basket. Suddenly Kirby's mouth opened extremely wide, and he sucked in every single food item, basket and all, along with Vaati.

"Yo yo yo!" Vaati screamed from inside Kirby's mouth. The little pink ball quickly spat out Vaati, but not before copying him. "Hey…you stole my hairdo, yo!" Vaati shouted, staring at Kirby, who now had purple hair and a cape.

"Byeeeeee!" Kirby said, and he turned into that one cloud thing with arms that Vaati usually turned into when he was super mad.

Vaati watched Kirby leave with a pout. "He stole my look! Oh well, at least I'm not chained to Ezlo anymore…"

"He's so cute!" Ilia said happily. "And now…A dare from Starlll!** Valoo: Let Ruto/Dark Link plan on dragon roost.**"

"Gwaaaargh!" Valoo protested, still stuck as a statue and floating around in the ocean.

"Oh did you here that, Darky! We get to go to a tropical island!" Ruto squealed.

"For the last time, my name is not Darky!" For the past hour, the two had been making plans for the party. Ruto had drawn up blueprints of the area where the party was going to be held, and had made little figurines for each Zelda character, so they could figure out where each would sit. Dark Link had been placed in charge of planning the food, since that was the last thing he wanted to do (Ruto was evil like that). "And where did you get the tropical island from?" he shouted at the Zora, who was gathering all of their plans.

"Well, it's near a volcano, just like Hawaii! Therefore, it must be tropical!"

"That's ridiculous," Dark Link scoffed.

"Call it what you want, but you can't argue with logic!" And with that, the princess went skipping off, leaving Dark to stare after her incredulously. A few minutes later and Ruto had managed to get eaten by Jabun, so Dark Link hopped on top of the giant fish and let him swim the pair to the other island. As soon as they arrived, they were flown up by the bird people that lived there. Soon they had reached the very top of the volcano (Ruto was very upset to see that there was no tropicalness anywhere to be seen), and they set to work once again on planning the party. This was very difficult, as the heat kept melting all of their hard work.

Meanwhile, back at Windfall, Ilia was reading the next dare from Starlll, "**Sheik: You can participate in the Zelteno fight.**"

"Uh…" Sheik said nervously as he/she looked over at where Midna was arguing with Link about who got the Four Sword. "No thanks, I'm good…" he said when Midna angrily turned Link into a wolf and then chased after him as he bolted with the sword in his mouth.

"Next! Another from Starlll!** Jane: here, have all of the triforce.**"

"Hey thanks! Finally, the Triforce is mine! Ahhahahaha!"

"Noooooo! I wanted the Triforce first!" Ganondorf whined.

"You had your chance, Ganon! Now I get to make a wish! Woot! Ok let's see… I wish…

TO BE CONTINUED! BWAHAHAHAHA!

* * *

**Hey everyone, sorry to cut it off, but it was getting a bit long. I promise to get the second part out as soon as possible, but- What's that? You can tell it's not the end because you can still scroll down quite a bit? Well fine, be that way. Maybe I just filled all that space up with a special speech by Navi! Yeah, that's it…**

Heylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylisten  
heywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyhey  
listenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyhey  
listenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyhey  
listenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyhey  
listenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyhey  
listenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylisten  
heywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenhey  
watchoutheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchoutheyheylistenheywatchout  
heylisten!

"Woah, if you stare at that for a super long time, you start to see different shapes!" Ruto said happily from way up high on the volcano.

"Only you would actually stare for that long…" Dark Link muttered as he sprayed another figurine with fireproof spray.

"Hey!" Navi shouted in conclusion to her speech. If anyone had actually been translating it, they would've gotten a very interesting lecture on the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but since everyone had been trying to ignore her, they were still oblivious to the fact that their entire lives were actually (censored).

"Stupid Navi, I thought I took that from you!" Saria shouted as the little fairy went back to jumping on the censoring button.

"Look listen! (I've got a backup!)"

"Hey, I still didn't get to make my wish!" Jane shouted.

"So make your stupid wish already!" Midna shouted as she continued to chase after Wolf Link.

"Ok! I wish for-" Suddenly, Wolf Link accidentally crashed into Jane, sending her flying into the water. The hero barked at her, which was supposed to be an apology, before running off again. "I wish I had that stupid sword so you two would stop running around!" Jane shouted, splashing back to shore. Suddenly the Triforce began to glow, and before Jane knew it she had the magical sword in her hands. "Darn it all! I wanted to take over the world!" Before Jane could start scolding Link for ruining everything, she suddenly split into four. "Oh… well this'll work!" Jane said as the other three Jane's started to complement each other.

"Ok, we still have more dares to do! Gather 'round everyone!" Ilia said happily as the four Jane's went running off. "Now then, this dare is from Starlll! **Ganon: Get stranded on an island.**"

"I already am," Ganondorf grumbled before standing up and swimming to a different island, never once looking up from his knitting project.

"**Ganondorf: Have a pet dragon. His name is Norbert.**"

"Thanks!" Ganondorf said excitedly, and he used his dragon pet to fly back to Windfall.

"**Morpha: Take the medallion back.**"

"Blub…" said the Water Temple boss from Ocarina of Time. The giant water-like creature swiftly glided over to Wolf Link and grabbed the blue medallion from him before running off, cackling madly.

"Woof!" shouted Link angrily.

"Haha, you can't talk!" Midna teased, only to receive a growl in response. "Alright alright, I'll help you get it back, sheesh!" The princess promptly jumped onto Link's back and started to hit him over the head, "Get moving!"

"Midna, you're not an imp anymore… I don't think he can carry you," Makar said before quickly hiding behind Saria.

"Fine!" Midna snapped as she climbed off. "But no help for you!" she shouted before turning him back into his human form. Link just sighed at Midna as she went stalking off, upset over being called heavier than an imp.

"Alright, another dare from Starlll!" Ilia said happily. "**Nabooru: (I'm trying to stop Mudd from ripping you to shreds) Take all the grudos to the party.**"

"Whatever," Nabooru said from her seat on the nearby stone wall, completely absorbed in a book that was titled "The Idiot's Guide to Thieving".

"Don't worry, they'll be there! …Or else!" Jane said, glaring at Nabooru and her lack of enthusiasm.

"**Grandma: Cook for the party.**"

"Oh my gosh! Really? I'd love too! Grandmama loves to cook! I better get started!" The old lady skipped over to Link, "Grandmama is going to make your favorite soup, yum!" Grandma said, pinching the boy's cheeks before heading to the café to collect cooking supplies.

"**Arill: I spelled your name wrong. Whach'ya gonna do?**"

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do! I'm going to write you a strongly worded letter!" Aryll screeched.

"Hey…how'd you get out of the dungeon?" Link asked.

"Oh please, it's not like those dungeons are hard. Tetra just blew everything up!"

"Oh. …Why didn't I do that?"

"Beats me. Now then, I'm going to write my letter! Dear Starlll! You are not very nice. I don't like you. You are not my friend! -Aryll!" The little girl marched over to the mailbox and waved it around for some reason, "You better be expecting this in your mail soon!" she shouted.

She was just about to throw it into the box when suddenly a hand reached out, "Paaaaper! Give me some paper!" the hand shouted.

"Ewwww. Stupid toilet person from Majora's Mask, what are you doing here!?" Aryll shouted, snatching her letter away from the strange person.

"Paaaaaaaaper!"

"No paper for you!" Aryll snapped, and she went running off to deliver the letter herself.

"That letter sounds familiar…" Link said. "Hey… she stole that from Ugly Betty!"

"What? I like that show!" Aryll shouted back.

"Moving on!" Ilia said. "Another dare from Starlll! **Maker: dance with/ marry Saria.** And, **Saria: Say no.**"

"I like to dance!" Makar shouted, and soon he and Saria were break dancing once again. "Hey Saria, would you marry me?" Makar asked in the middle of their dance.

"No way!" Saria shouted, wrinkling her nose in disgust and stomping off.

"Darn!"

"Well, at least there weren't any tears," Midna commented.

"I wanted tears!" Aryll said with a pout.

"Another dare from Starlll! **Mido: Yell "My mom is an idiot" across castle town.**"

"But…I was created by the Great Deku Tree…" Mido said. He shrugged and then started to run around the large town, "The Great Deku Tree is an idiot! The Great Deku-" Suddenly the Great Deku Tree popped out of the ground, glaring angrily at Mido. "Oh…hi, Great Deku Tree…"

"You are in a lot of trouble, Mido! Go back to the forest and stay there!" the giant tree bellowed.

"But, Great Deku Tree!" Mido whined.

"Right now, Mido!"

"Fine! But I'm never talking to you again! …Ever!" Mido shouted as he ran off.

"Moving on! Still doing Starlll's review! **Mario: I dunno.**"

"Mama-mia, I'm-a gonna make-a me-a some-a spaghetti-a!" Mario said cheerfully.

"Uh… who's idea was it that just by adding an 'a' after every word makes you Italian?" Zelda asked.

"You-a gotta problem-a with-a the-a way-a I-a talk-a!?" Mario shouted angrily, preparing to eat a flower so he could start shooting fireballs at the princess if necessary.

"As a matter fact, I d-"

"Don't! She doesn't!" Link said quickly. "Zelda, I don't think you should insult the plumber. He does do repairs for free you know!"

"Oh…right. Never mind!"

"Good-a!"

"Oh hey look, a question from Starlll!" Ilia said happily. "**Link: (either) Where do you keep everything? A secret pocket?**"

"Actually, it's a secret, _magic_ pocket!"

"Oooooooooo," said everyone else in awe.

"**Link: (Wind Waker) Have a swordfight with Dark Link (Who can't stop planning with Ruto)**"

…Up at the volcano…

"I already told you, I don't want to sit next to Link!" Dark Link shouted.

"You don't want to sit next to anyone!" Ruto said, exasperated.

"Well maybe that's because I don't want to go to the stupid party!"

"Well maybe we should just-"

"Ahha! It is I, Link! Prepare to meet your doom, Dark Link!" Link shouted, twirling his grappling hook around impressively.

"Ugh, there are way too many Link's around here!" Ruto complained as Dark Link and Link started to duel. "What about Saria?" Ruto asked calmly.

"I'm not sitting next to her either!"

"Makar?"

"No!"

"How about me?"

"Definitely not!"

Link suddenly pulled back a bit from the duel and looked past Dark to where Ruto was sitting, "Hey, you're making sure that all the Link's are seated together right?"

Ruto sighed tiredly, "Yes. All the Link's are at one end, and all the Zelda's are at the other side."

"Ok, just checking!" And soon the duel started again.

"I think I'll separate the Kokiri, because if you put a bunch of five year olds together, you're just asking for trouble!" Ruto said calmly as the two tried to push each other off of the mountain. "Now that just leaves me, since I don't want to sit next to my boring lazy father, Jane, the guest star person, and you, Darky."

Link snickered at that, "Darky?"

"I told her that's not my name!" Dark grumbled.

...Back at Windfall...

Meanwhile, Ilia was continuing Starlll's review, "**Tetra: Why do you have a picture of Link over your bed?(Mudd pulls out a dagger)**"

"Eep!" Link said nervously.

"Arrrr, what do you do all day, hang out in my room!? I don't even know half of the things I have in there! It's just a random picture that I found! Now where's that one pirate who says he's guarding my room? He is so fired!"

"**George: there is no George.**"

"How could you forget about me!?" George shouted before bursting into tears and running off.

...At Dragon Roost...

"Oops, we forgot about George…" Ruto said, looking over the seating arrangements.

"Nobody likes him anyway!" Dark Link said, shooting at Link with his bow.

...Back at Windfall...

"**Skull kid: here, have a mask!**"

"Hey, thanks!" Skull kid said happily.

"**Majora's mask: here, have a Skull kid!**"

The mask just hissed angrily.

"Uhoh…" Skull kid said nervously, but he put the mask on anyway.

"Stay back, people! I got this one!" shouted the Link from Majora's Mask.

"Well, while they're fighting let's just continue…" Ilia said, watching the super cool battle. "Another dare from Starlll. "**Kirby: test Grandma's cooking.**"

"Hiiiiii!" Kirby said, flying back.

"Haha, you lost my hair style!" Vaati said, cackling madly.

"Ok, Grandmama finished her first pot of soup! Where's my taste tester?"

"Hiiiiii!"

"Here you go! Now wait until I leave before you start ea-" But it was too late, Kirby had already eaten the entire pot of soup, along with Grandma. Before she knew it, she was being spat out, and Kirby had gray hair on his head, all tied up in a bun.

"Hiiiiii!" Kirby said, trying to figure out what exactly his special ability was now. After a few minutes he decided he didn't have any, and so he went flying off, shouting out a goodbye as he went.

"Good riddance!" Vaati shouted.

"Next! Another dare from Starlll! **Zyphos: Translate what Valoo says.**"

There were a few minutes of silence before Ilia grew impatient and ordered someone to call the wind god.

"All I got was a message saying that he was on vacation, and if he was needed for anything to call his brother," Malon said.

"So? Call his brother!" Midna said.

"Nooooo, don't call his brother!" Tetra shouted, but, as was the common theme around here, she was too late. Malon had already called the god's brother, and a large cyclone was heading straight towards them.

"Run!" Majora's Mask shouted, and it abandoned Skull kid. This didn't exactly work in his favor, however, as he realized soon after that he didn't have any legs and was soon left behind by everyone as they ran into the safety of the nearest building. The mask was swept up and dumped on some island, where it would remain until some unknowing and stupid person picked it up… sort of like Jumanji! Anyone else see that movie? I thought it was scary…but that was a long time ago. Anyways…

"Here's a complaint from Starlll!" Ilia said cheerfully as they all sipped on their coffee inside the café. "**Readers: The Doyle is my Gimmick!**"

"Uhoh, see what you guys did? You made Starlll very mad!" Link said.

"Does this mean I don't have to knit anymore?" Ganondorf asked hopefully.

"No," everyone else said.

"Darn!"

"Here's a dare from Starlll!** Cyclos: Protect Dark Link! (Read Link(WW)'S dare)**"

"Well, he's right outside at least!" Midna said as the giant cyclone slowly moved towards Dragon Roost Island.

...At Dragon Roost Island...

"Ok, I think I've got the food platters figured out!" Ruto shouted over the loud noise of clashing swords. "We'll do the desserts first, and then appetizers, and then the main meal!"

"Why are we doing desserts first!?" both Dark Link and Link shouted.

"Because, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm always too full for dessert by the time it comes around!" Ruto said. "Therefore, we're having it first! That way, everyone's happy."

"You mean you're happy…" Dark said.

"Well…yeah!"

Suddenly a large cyclone swooped in and grabbed Link before dropping him in the middle of a deserted island. "Darn it all, I was winning too!" Link shouted. "Stupid Cyclos! …Oh hey…what's this? An awesome looking mask! What's it doing in the middle of nowhere?"

...Back at Windfall...

"Ok, here's another dare from Starlll! **Big octo: Spit out the great farie and give it to a twelve eye octo.**"

The giant octo sighed sadly before spitting out the giant fairy… along with… Tingle! "Tingle is freeeeeeeee! Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!"

"It's the end of the world, run!" shouted the twelve eyed octo, and so the great fairy was safe from being eaten…for the moment. Unfortunately, she suffered a worse fate than being eaten. She was stuck with Tingle for the entire trip to Windfall. Why she was actually going to Windfall and not to her home, nobody knew.

"Tingle is a fairy too! Did you know?"

"Yeah… I kind of figured that out after you told me for the hundredth time…" the fairy grumbled. Finally they arrived at Windfall, and the fairy quickly handed Tingle to Navi, where the two soon entered an argument about who was the better fairy.

"Next dare!" Ilia said. "Another one from Starlll! **Kraken: Are you a gentle giant or a killer?**"

"Weeeellll," said the giant Kraken uncertainly. "I guess I'm… a KILLER! Bwahahahahaha!" Suddenly the Kraken accidentally swallowed a fly, and he instantly started to cry. "I killed the little bug! I hate myself!" he shouted before quickly going back underwater.

"Ok… Here's a question from Starlll! **Meladi: Are the rito Zoras?**"

"My name is Medli! I looked it up on my fansite!" Medli screeched as she swooped down. "And I think they're supposed to be, but everyone knows that bird people are way cooler than fish people, so…"

"That doesn't really answer anything. Moving on!" Link said (he had managed to get his job back from Ilia). "Here's a dare from Starlll! **Owl guy: (you still have to say "I love Sott") I'll give you a choice: 1) Have a tea party wit the hemlock king 2) Get Mauled by cuccos/ pigs**."

"I love Sott! Can I have another choice?"

"No."

"I love Sott! Fine! Then I pick… the tea party!"

"Good luck!" Link said, and he tossed the giant bird towards the Forsaken Fortress.

…At the Forsaken Fortress…

"Squawk!" shouted the giant bird from Wind Waker as soon as the owl arrived.

"I love Sott! Uh… don't you speak normally?" the owl asked.

"Squawk?"

"I love Sott! Speak Hylian!"

"Squawk!" the Hemlock King shouted, right before throwing his fancy tea dishes at the owl.

"I love Sott! Stupid bird, I'm out of here! I'll reschedule the tea party for another day!"

"Squawk!"

…Back at Windfall…

"Here's another dare from Starlll! **Moe the Moblin: Just go to the party.**"

"Ugh," said Moe the Moblin as he wielded his club and went walking off.

"No no no, the party is the other way!" Link shouted after him, but the Moblin didn't hear.

"Moe Moe Moe, I love Moe!" sang a nearby girl in a frilly dress, with weird rabbit ears perched on her head. "I hope I get to sit next to Moe!"

"Darn it all, we forgot Moe and what's-her-face!" Ruto shouted angrily.

"If Jane keeps inviting more people at the last minute, we'll never be done!" Dark Link wailed.

"And that's it for Starlll's review. Moving on to keybladeboy!** Jane: Put my Xalin, my OC, in as a cohost! I COMMAND IT! *eye twitch***"

"Ok! Everyone, let's all give a big hand for our newest guest, Xalin!"

"Yay," a few people said nervously as a tall man came running towards them, loaded with a many assortment of weaponry. He was wearing a long cloak, had dirty blonde hair, and green eyes.

"Oooo, lots of shiny weapons! Can I have one?" Link asked.

"No way, man! They're all mine!" Xalin shouted, hugging a large machine gun.

"Link, what have I told you about trying to get free gifts out of the new guy!?" Jane shouted while the other three Jane's just glared at him.

"Sorry…" Link grumbled.

"Now then, I'm back to taking over the world! Blue Jane, you-"

"I vote for getting milkshakes first!" shouted Purple Jane.

Regular Jane sighed, "Fine. We'll get milkshakes first."

"Bye!" shouted all the Zelda characters as the four Jane's went running off.

"Ok, next dare!" Link said. He pouted when he realized that no one was paying attention to him. Instead they were all crowded around Xalin as he showed off his attack moves with all of his weapons. Soon the entire town was in shambles and burning, though nobody really knew how the fires had started. "Guys! Come on, we have to do more dares!" Link shouted.

"Booooo," someone in the group shouted, but they all marched back to where Link was.

"Now then, here's a dare from keybladeboy! **Link: Go through your entire TP adventure, only instead of a sword...You have a piece of pizza.**"

"Oh come on!" TP Link shouted. "I could beat that game with my hands tied behind my back!"

A few minutes later, he was facing off with his first enemy… the wooden target practice dummy. "Take that!" he shouted. The pizza slice hit the wood with a splat, but that was all.

"That was boring," Malo muttered as the other kids just walked off.

"Well… If I had two slices, I would've been able to take it!" Link called after them.

"I'll show you how it's done!" Xalin shouted, running into the clearing. Soon he had all the kids ooh-ing and ahh-ing as he smashed the dummies into tiny pieces of wood with a giant mace.

"Show off… I'd like to see you do that with the pizza!" Link grumbled.

"Ok," Xalin said with a shrug, and he continued destroying the dummies with Link's slice of pizza.

"Show off… I'd like to see you do that with half a slice of pizza! …Without cheese! Hah!"

"Ok!" Xalin said.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, new guy you make me so mad!" Link shouted, lowering the kids' opinions of him even more.

"Next dare! Another dare from keybladeboy! **Ilia: I dare you to kiss Zant.**" Link turned to look at Ilia before realizing that she couldn't hear, since she didn't have any ears still. "Uh…we'll get back to that one. Moving on! Another dare from keybladeboy! **Zant: I dare you to crack your neck like you did when Ganondorf died in TP, only at a rapid pace, while running along the walls using your spinny-blade-arm-thing move.**"

"OK!" Zant shouted, a bit too energetically as he had gotten into the hidden cache of coffee beans. "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" The creepy Twili quickly ran along all the demolished walls, continually cracking his neck.

"He freaks me out," Midna said as everyone watched him.

"Uh…let's keep going before we all get nightmares from this," Link said. "Here's a comment from keybladeboy! **Zelda: You stink.**"

"Well! I never!" Zelda said with a pout, and she continued with her shopping spree.

"Here's a warning from ()! **Vaati: The cops are coming for you! Run!**"

"Yo yo yo, dawg! Check it! I'm super fast!" Vaati said, and he went running off just as a police siren could be heard in the distance.

"**Ilia: Go back to the glue factory with Malon, and compete to see who can get more productivity in a day. (Note: Just before their shift starts, tell them which animal glue comes from! MUAHAHA!)**"

"Uhoh, you don't want to do that…" Saria said. "Jane's a vegetarian and-"

But suddenly all four Jane's appeared, looking around suspiciously. "Ok, you two have to work at the glue factory, but first! Fun fact time! Glue actually comes from plants, and anyone who says otherwise will suffer from the almighty cucco army! Muhahahahaahahaha!!!!"

"Let's get out of here!" Malon shouted, and she pulled an oblivious Ilia along with her as Jane borrowed Xalin's weapons and started to go on a random killing spree with her army of cuccos. Xalin, who just liked shooting stuff, tagged along enthusiastically.

"So…here's another dare from ()," Link said nervously. "**Midna: So you don't like Tingle, huh? Well, now I am making him your official stalker!**"

"Lucky me," Midna grumbled as Tingle bounced around happily.

"Tingle loves following people! Hello there, I'm a fairy! Are you? Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah! These are Tingle's magic words, don't steal them!"

"I am so glad we're going home today. Then I can get rid of you," Midna said, glaring at Tingle.

"Moving on! Another dare from ()! **Get Aryll and Navi both on lots of sugar, lock them in a room with Link, and have them compete to see who can annoy him the most!**" Link stared at the review in horror. "Why!? What will that accomplish!? Whyyyyyyyyyyy!?"

"So…I get to annoy my brother, and eat lots of sugar? Sounds good to me!" Aryll said cheerfully.

"I'm not your brother! Your brother was swept up in a cyclone and dumped somewhere! I'm Ocarina of Time Link! Because I am Jane's favorite! Hah!"

"Actually, I like Twilight Princess Link better now…" Blue Jane (who was the only one to have not joined the cucco army) said.

"What!? Darn you, better graphics! Fine, let's just get this over with…" Link said, and he trudged over to where Aryll and Navi were eating a triple layer fudge brownie cake…with dark chocolate icing! And rainbow sprinkles, because they're pretty.

"Heyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyheyhey!" (I don't think I have to say who said that…)

"Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" Aryll shouted, and she joined Zant on his run on the walls, going twice as fast as him.

"I think Navi won this one," Midna said as Link started to bang his head against a nearby wall. "And since Link doesn't look too good, I'll be co-co-cohost!"

"With cuckoo cocoa puffs!" shouted Aryll, eating an entire box of the cereal in just one bite.

"Sure… Anyway, let's see what the next dare is! Another dare from ()!** Ganondorf: Tell everyone about how much you love pink!**"

"I love pink!" Ganondorf shouted as he flew around on his dragon, still knitting the world's largest doily.

"Huh. He didn't even hesitate or complain… Anyway, here's another from ()!** Link: How many times have you had to rescue Zelda now? I'll leave you to think about that…**"

"Well let's see, there was the time…and then there was that other time… Oh my gosh! That's all I do!" all the Links shouted.

"I didn't have to rescue Zelda," Majora's Mask Link said smugly.

"Technically you're from Ocarina of Time, so yes, you did," Saria said.

"Darn! () is right! We need to find something else to do!"

"Now look at what you did! You sent all the Links on strike!" Midna shouted as all the heroes marched around with signs, shouting to find someone else to rescue the princess next time.

"This could be a problem…" Zelda said, loaded with bags from her shopping trip. "What am I going to do if I get kidnapped again!?" she shouted at them. She pouted when she was just ignored, and then went stomping off, grumbling about having to find a new hero.

"Here's a dare from Lostwonder15! **Link: Dump all the pies in the ocean, wait for some sharks to swarm, and jump after them, Midna, it's your job to save him.** And, **Ilia: Follow him, but please no one save her.**"

"Freeeeeedom!" Link shouted as he ran away from Navi, who was still annoying him. The other Links glared at him for ditching the protest, and for ruining perfectly good pies as he threw them into the water. "Here I go!" Link said, and he leaped after the pies just as a few sharks started to appear. "Uh…Midna? You going to save me now?" Link asked nervously as the sharks slowly started to circle around him.

"Wait, one minute! I have to find the shark theme song!" Midna said, searching frantically through all of her music disks.

"Sharks don't have a theme song!!!" Link screamed.

"Here I am!" Ilia said happily, prancing over to the group with Malon right behind her, the both of them completely covered in glue.

"What happened to you?" Saria asked.

"Pretty much the same thing as last time… Except this time I was there, and so that's twice the amount of glue bottles with upside down labels!" Malon said.

"I just can't get the hang of that job!" Ilia complained. "Hey, what's Link doing in the water? I'll save you Link!" Wolf Ilia quickly leaped into the water.

"Midna, hurry up!" Link shouted.

"Oh wait, here it is!" Midna said, and she quickly placed her cd into her boom box, and soon the theme song from Jaws started to play. Midna started to dance to the music, completely ignoring Link as he tried to get her attention. "Woooo! Gotta love the shark theme song!" she said, finally turning around. "Link! What are you doing in there?!" she shouted at the boy. "Honestly, how thick can you get? Everyone knows not to jump into shark infested waters! …Except Dora, but she doesn't count anyway." Midna quickly warped Link out of the water and onto the safe, dry land.

"I'm aliiiiiiive! Yes!" Link shouted, and he quickly ran back to the protest group.

"Wow, Miss Fairy, you saved Mr. Fairy!" Tingle said amazedly.

"Hey! What about me!?" Ilia shouted.

"Whatever. Next!" Midna said, ignoring Ilia. The wolf sighed and swam to shore (not even the sharks liked her…how sad). "Another dare from Lostwonder15! **Saria: Dye your hair orange for Halloween! (Some one actually did that at my school but not exactly for halloween, she got dared to do it! It was funny...anyway...)**"

"Orange!? But I like green! I have green hair, a matching green outfit, and green eyes!"

"…You don't have green eyes!" Link said.

"Fine! But I want green eyes!"

"Too bad, you're getting orange hair today…even though we're too late for Halloween. Oops!"

"What?! It's over!? But I wanted to go trick-or-treating!" Ganondorf shouted down at them. "I was going to go as the Triforce!"

"My hair!" Saria wailed. Everyone quickly turned to face her, and saw that Midna had dumped a bucket of orange paint on top of the Kokiri. "It's ruined!" Saria screamed, and she went running off.

"Moving on! Another dare from Lostwonder15! **Every Zelda Character: Write thank you letters to Jane for making them and not letting the reviewers kill them. That even includes you Gaybora...owl...thing…**"

"Awww, that's so nice! I like this dare the best!" Jane said happily.

"So, you still think you made the Zelda characters, eh?" asked a large Nintendo guy behind her.

"Uh… no yes maybe!" Jane said quickly.

"Which is it!?"

"Yes!" Jane shouted, and she went running off, cackling maniacally. The other three Jane's rolled their eyes before following.

"I love Sott! But I don't want to write a thank you card!" the giant owl protested.

…two hours later…

"There! Finally, everyone's finished! Here you go, mailman/bird!" said Link happily, shoving a large bag into the mailman's…wings.

"Where you want me to deliver this too?" the bird asked, trying to see over the bag.

"Uh…I don't know. Where is Jane right now?" Link asked, turning to look at Midna.

"How am I supposed to know!? Just guess!"

"Ok… send it to…Dragon Roost Island!"

"Ok!"

…at Dragon Roost Island…

"No no no, that's all wrong! I don't want to sit next to Navi!" Jane shouted at Ruto and Dark Link. "And why does Navi even have a seat? She doesn't sit, she hovers!"

"Well who do you want to sit next to then!?" Ruto shouted back. "I just got Dark Link happy, and now I have to figure out everyone else's seating arrangements again!"

"I got the whole table to myself!" Dark Link said happily.

Jane frowned, "Where are we going to sit then?"

"I was thinking a picnic…outside."

"Oh no you don't! I want to sit in an actual chair, not on a rock! Throw Dark out!"

"What!?" Dark Link shouted.

"It's either that, or you sit next to…" Jane scanned through the names, "The Gorons. Take your pick!"

"Fine. I guess the Gorons are alright. They do know how to party at least…"

"Delivery for Jane!" shouted the mailman as he flew up.

"Oh yay! Those must be my thank you cards! …Huh, that's weird."

"What now?" Ruto asked.

"Well, your cards aren't in here."

"We're busy!" Dark Link shouted.

"Yeah but still… It doesn't take that long to write a simply thank you now does it?"

"Arrrgh! Fine!"

Jane beamed at the two of them before sitting down and reading through all of her cards.

…back at Windfall…

"Here's a dare from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!" Midna said happily. "**Ilia: I liked watching you give Tingle a hug so much, I'm gonna dare you to do it this time! Mwahahahahaha! Hug him!**"

"I can't hear you," Ilia said cheerfully.

"How about now?" Midna asked, turning Ilia back into Hylian form.

"Eep! But I don't want to hug him! He's weird!"

"Tingle loves hugs!" Tingle shouted.

Ilia sighed, "Oh fine…"

"Awwwwww," everyone else said as Ilia hugged Tingle, who was practically beaming with joy.

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!"

"Ok, moving on! Another one from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!** Link: Here, have some scotch tape! Ah, randomness…**"

"Hey thanks!" Link said, and he started to pull the tape out of the container thingy. A few seconds later and he had somehow managed to not only tape himself to the nearest building, but everyone else as well.

Everyone was yelling at Link for this when suddenly Xalin came skipping in, "Hey…Dudes, what are you all doing?"

"Just help us get out of here, alright!" Midna snapped.

"Ok!" Xalin pulled out a giant, double bladed axe and prepared to swing it through the tape.

"Noooooooooo!" Everyone screamed, closing their eyes tightly. They all sighed with relief when Xalin lowered the axe with a confused expression.

"What's wrong now!? First you want my help, and now you don't! You lot are confusing!"

"We'll get out of here on our own, why don't you go… find something else to do." Saria said.

"Hahahahahahaha! Orange hair!" Xalin shouted before walking off, swinging his axe around casually.

"Ok, I think I can just reach the review…" Link said, trying to grab the envelopes that were just out of his reach.

"Use your hookshot!" another Link called.

"Hah! Fool! Letters are made of metal, and so you can't grab them with the hookshot! Everyone knows that!" another Link shouted.

Just then Epona came prancing in. "Epona! Good horsie! Grab the reviews! There you go!" Link said as the horse trotted over to the pile. She looked down at the reviews, and then back at Link who was encouraging her to bring them over. She carefully leaned down and started to chew on the first on, staring at Link with wide, innocent eyes. "No! Bad horse! Give them to me!" Link shrieked.

"Ok, this was fun at first, but now it's just getting boring," Midna said, and she warped everyone out from under the scotch tape.

"Hooray!" Everyone cheered at the princess as Link snatched the reviews from Epona.

"Now then! Here's a comment from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!** Ganondorf: Aww, you look so pretty in your new dress! Here, have a cookie. :)**"

"Yay! I love cookies! And I do look pretty good, don't I?"

"Next!" Link shouted. "Here's a challenge from The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule! **Zilelda: I challenge you to a staring contest!**"

"Ok! Bring it!" Zelda shouted.

"Alright, start staring in three…two…" Link frowned when he saw Zelda start to blink at an incredibly fast pace. "Zelda, how are you supposed to win if you can't even stop blinking for one second!?" Link shouted.

"I'm making up for all the blinks I'll miss during the contest!" Zelda said. "Keep counting down!"

"Ok… two…one!"

Zelda instantly stopped blinking and started to stare. A few minutes later and the others started to get bored, and so they started to place bets on who would win. Nobody placed any money on Zelda except for the other Zeldas, who were all cheering for her. "This is boring!" Midna said, and she warped Zelda a few feet to the left.

"Hey!" Zelda shouted, blinking in surprise.

"WINNER!" Link shouted. "The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule!"

"Not fair!" all the Zeldas screemed.

"Congrats you get… the satisfaction of winning!" Link said.

"That's a lame prize," Midna said. "Here, have the Triforce for a day!"

"Midna, you can't just hand the Triforce out!" Link whined.

"Why not? It seems that everyone else is!"

"Fine! But I get to do the rest of the reviews!"

"Fine by me!"

"Hah! I win! …Hey, wait a minute… Oh well. Next dare! Here's a dare from BTM707! **Ilia: Shave your head bald.**"

"I don't think so!" Ilia shouted. Unfortunately for her, she accidentally shaved her head anyway. "My hair!!! It's ruined!"

"Join the club," Saria grumbled.

"Noooooo! Join my club! I need members!" Link shouted.

The others just rolled their eyes at him.

Link sighed sadly, "Here's another dare from BTM707. **Jane: Lock Tingle and Dora&Boots in a cell and see who cracks from the annoyance first!**"

"Ok!" Jane said happily, and with the help of the other Janes, she shoved the three into Windfall Island's jail.

"Ah bueno! We've found the jail!"

"You're right, Boots!" Dora said, and she burst into song. "We did it, we did it!"

"Uh…Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah?"

…A few minutes later…

"Let's see how they're doing!" Link said, and he opened up the door with the others crowding behind him eagerly. Everyone moaned in dissapointment when they saw all three singing songs from Dora's show.

"They've brainwashed Tingle!" Midna screeched. "We can't risk letting this horrible disease of singing happy songs spread! Keep them locked up!"

"Ok," everyone else said, and they obediently followed Midna towards the dock.

"Let's continue! Here's another dare from BTM707! **Zelda: call yourself 'princess of poverty' for the chapter.**"

"But but but…I'm the princess of destiny!" Zelda said, flinging her long hair in back of her.

"Not anymore you're not!" Link said cheerfully.

"Fine. I'm…the princess of poverty." Zelda burst into tears and went running off, nearly crashing into Xalin as she went.

"What's up with her?" he asked as he approached the others.

"She's upset about her dare," Link said.

"Oh! I've got a dare!" Xalin shouted.

"You can't give us dares, you're a guest here!" Link said. "Now then, let's do the next dare!"

"You guys are fools! Don't you know not to go against Xalin!?"

"Oh great, now he's talking about himself in third person…" Midna grumbled to Link.

"I'll show you! I'll show you all!!!"

"You want to read the next dare?" Link asked in a bored voice.

"Ooooo, sure! Ok! This next dare is from BTM707! **Link: Regardless of the consequences, insult Jane.**" Xalin snickered, "Good luck, man!"

Link glared angrily, "I really don't like this dare…" he said as all four Janes suddenly appeared and looked at him expectantly. "Uh…Jane is a lozer! With a z!"

All four Janes gasped in surpise, "How dare you!? Prepare to meet your doom!" Before Link could even react, he found himself in the jail with Tingle, Dora, and Boots.

"Oh look, Dora! Someone else to teach our wonderful songs too!"

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!" all three of them shouted.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Link screamed.

"Harsh, man," Xalin said.

"Yeah…I'll let him out in a bit. In the mean time, you can be co-co-co-cohost!"

"Sweet!" Xalin said, and he grabbed all the reviews as the Janes went running off to keep an eye on Link and to let him out if it looked like he was about to start singing. "Here's another dare from BTM707! **Ganondorf: Give ballet lessons to the entire cast while wearing your dress!**"

"Uh…ok…" Ganondorf said, and he had his pet dragon land so that he could get off. "Ready everyone, and one two three, one two three, and twirl!"

"This is lame," Midna muttered crossly.

After a while, Xalin decided that he agreed, and so he had everyone stop dancing by knocking their teacher unconscious with a pair of nunchucks. "Alrighty then, next dare!" Xalin said calmly while everyone else inched away from the strange man.

Suddenly, Tetra came running up to them, "Arrrrrrr, me mateys, the ship be ready to go! So get yourselves onboard, before I leave without you!"

"We're not done with dares yet!" Makar protested.

"…Are there any for me? Because if there ain't, then we're shipping off!" Tetra said grumpily.

"Actually…there is!" Xalin said. "It's from BTM707! Tetra: Sink your ship, and don't complain."

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

"Uh…Tetra?" Link asked nervously, waving his hand in front of the pirate's face. "I think she died!"

"Don't be ridiculous, she's just gone into shock!" Midna said, and she walked over before slapping the girl across the face.

"Arrrrrrr! I won't be sinking my ship anytime soon!"

"Sink the ship? Ok!" Niko said, and he went running off, eager to obey his captain.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" Tetra screamed as the large ship slowly sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

"That was kind of entertaining," Midna said.

"Wait… how are we supposed to get home now!?" Zelda shouted. Everyone froze and then looked at each other nervously.

"Arrr, I'll get back to work on fixing it. Again!" Tetra said, and she went stomping off, dragging a few random characters along with her so they could help.

"I guess that gives us more time to do dares!" Xalin said cheerfully while everyone else groaned. "Here's another dare from BTM707! **Midna & Saria: Get your armies back and actually finish the fight!**"

"Yes!" both girls shouted.

"Aw man, we were having fun!" wailed Midna's army of fans as the cruise ship they were on suddenly kicked them off. All Saria's army did was squeak at each other.

"And…fight!" Xalin shouted through a megaphone.

"Fight the cute little bunny-rabbits?" asked one of the fans, ignoring Midna's shouts to get moving. Suddenly one of the rabbits started to kick the fans, and soon Midna's army was in full retreat and screaming something about rabies.

"Hahahahaha, I told you, rabbits pawn fans!" Saria shouted.

"What an exciting battle, folks! Stay tuned for more!" Xalin said.

"…I think it's over, actually," Link said.

"Yeah, I know. But it keeps people guessing! Mwahahaha! Next dare! Here's a question from Super Dragon! **Link: What do you do when you're not rescuing Zelda?**"

"Uh… I cut grass…and lift rocks…and buy things…"

"So basically, nothing?" Xalin said.

"Hey, I didn't say that!" Link shouted, but Xalin was already moving on.

"Here's a dare from Super Dragon! **Link: Play "Through the Fire and Flames" (From Guitar Hero 3) on expert. If you don't get 101% (Yeah that's right. 101%) on your first try, you must marry Midna!**"

"What!?" both Link and Midna shouted.

"101%!? That's impossible!" Link said, but he grabbed the guitar anyway, mainly because he was just curious how the game actually worked. "Blue button, red button, yellow, blue, red, all three… all three!? My fingers aren't that fast!!!"

Finally Link was finished, and he got a super awesome score of…0. "Nooooooo!" both Link and Midna screamed.

"How could you Link!?"

"It's ok, we'll get married, and then we'll just get divorced!"

"That's not the path to a healthy relationship you know, planning a divorce before you've even started the wedding plans!" Zelda said.

"Shut up, Zelda," the happy couple said.

So after the wedding, and the divorce, Xalin continued with the dares, "Here's a dare from Super Dragon!** Jane: Ordinarily, I'd dare you to read my truth or dare fic, but if this one is any indication, then I would say that it wouldn't be your kind of humor. So read it at your own risk. Instead of that, you should be locked in a room with Tingle for 1 hour while he's hyped up on sugar and caffeine!**"

"I'll probably get around to reading it eventually! I'm just…you know…super busy, and stuff…"

"Excuses excuses! She spends most of her time browsing yahoo answers and eating chocolate truffles!"

Jane gasped, "Red Jane! Nobody likes a tattle tale!"

"Yeah whatever, into the room with Tingle, Dora, and Boots you go!"

"Traitor! Don't think I'm sharing my truffles with you!" Jane shouted as the three strange people (well, two people, one monkey) began to dance and sing. "I can't take it anymore!!!"

"…It's only been two seconds," Link said.

"Noooooooo!" Jane shouted before fainting.

"Uh…we'll check on her later. Let's get out of here before we all go crazy!" Xalin said, and he went running out with the review by Super Dragon. "**Midna: Set Princess Selda's hair on fire and throw bombs at Ganondorf and Zant! I want to join your army as well!**"

"Ah, excellent! A new fan! Start fighting the rabbits!" Midna shouted before stomping over to Zelda. "Oh Princess of Poverty!"

"Yes?"

"I have to light your hair on fire, nothing personal!"

"Oh, ok! Hey…wait!" Zelda screemed, but it was too late. Her hair was completely gone. "My hair, it's ruined!"

"Join the club," Ilia and Saria said.

"Oh come on! Their club just started and they already have three members!" Link shouted.

"Next dare! Oh wait, it's a question! From Super Dragon! **Princess Selda: Why can't you ever do anything useful?**"

"Well, for one thing, I'm a princess! Hello! Princesses don't do anything useful, except rule the world and/or kingdom! Another thing I don't get, why don't they call it princessdom? Or queendom? Kingdom seems so old fashioned! I say we make it netrual and call it a persondom from now on!"

Everyone else just sighed at her before turning back to Xalin, who was getting ready to read the next dare. Before he could, however, Tetra came stomping over, "Alrighty mates, I've got the ship fixed, now let's go before something else happens!"

"Hey wait, there's another dare for you, Tetra!" Xalin said, snickering.

"Oh aye? Let's hear it then, matey!"

"It's from Super Dragon! **Tetra: Sell your ship.**"

". . . . . ."

"She's going into shock again! Clear!" Link shouted, and he pulled out a defibulator (those fun paddle things that shock people!), and zapped Tetra with them.

"Arrrrrr, I'm still alive, you fool!" Tetra shouted, her hair now standing up on end. "Arrrrr, me hair! It be ruined!"

"Join the club." Saria, Zelda, and Ilia said.

"That is so not fair!" Link whined. It didn't take long to find a buyer for the ship, and soon the group was once again clueless on how to get back home.

"Arrr, I'll see if I can buy it back," Tetra said tiredly, and she went trudging off, pulling Zelda along with her so she could pay.

"Next dare!" Xalin said. "**Navi: Get locked in a jar for the rest of the chapter.**"

"Hey! Heyheyhey!" Navi shouted as Link chased after her with a bottle.

"Oh hey, it's been an hour already! We should check on Jane!" Midna said. As soon as they entered the jail they were horrified to see that even Jane wasn't invincible to Dora and Tingle's powers of brainwashing.

"Hola everyone!" Jane said, waving enthusiastically as she, Tingle, Dora, and Boots danced around the room, shouting out Tingle's magic words and shaking maracas, all at the same time. Soon the group burst into song, "I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map! I'm the map!"

"Hmm. I think we lost Jane…" Link said sadly while the others just stared in shock.

"Well, let's move on to the last and final dare," Xalin shouted over the loud singing. "**Malon: Cook Epona for dinner.**"

"Hahahaha, cook Epona!" Jane shouted. "Hey…isn't Epona…a horse!?"

"Uhoh," said everyone, including the other three in the jail.

"Where's my army of cuccos!?!?!"

"Jane's back!" Link said.

"Hooray!" Everyone else cheered as Jane broke through the bars and looked around madly.

"So…I guess we aren't doing that dare then?" Xalin asked. Link shook his head quickly.

**(There's supposed to be a divider line here...)**

"Whew, such a long chapter! But we're up to the final part, the game show!" Link said cheerfully, ignoring Jane and the army of cuccos as they ran around in the distance, barely visible in the growing darkness. "Today is a special episode, because it's the final game show we'll be doing! And our very last contestant is… Lostwonder15!"

"Hooray!" cheered the audience.

"Hello everyone!" Lostwonder15 shouted as she climbed up the stage.

"And since Xalin didn't really get to do much today, I've decided to let him be the other competing contestant!" Link said cheerfully.

"You did?" Xalin asked.

"Yeah…I told you earlier, remember?"

"Oh… I tend to tune you out, sorry man!"

"Fine. But anyway, here's your microphone, here's the buzzers, there's no rules, so you all know the rules! Now let's play… Who Wants to be the Owner of a Golden Rupee!"

"Hooray!" shouted the audience.

"First question! What is the name of the evil mask in Majora's Mask?  
a) the bunny rabbit mask  
b) Majora's Mask  
c) Ahha, trick question! It was actually…an evil boot!"

Both contestants instantly slammed on the buzzer, and since Xalin was holding a giant chain saw, Link decided to let him answer first. "Uh…wait what was the question? I tuned you out again…"

"Ok… Lostwonder15! You're turn to answer!"

"Ok, I'm certain that the answer is… b! Yeah, b!"

"Coooooorect!"

"Hooray!" the audience cheered once again.

"Next question! What is Link's main mode of transportation in Wind Waker?  
a) a boat  
b) a giant snail (slow and steady wins the race!)  
c) he just swam… a lot"

Lostwonder looked over at Xalin, who had, for some reason, cut his buzzer in half and was now staring at it forlornly, before shrugging and hitting her own buzzer, "Ok, I think...I remembered he did swim...why didn't he use a boat? Oh well! Or maybe it was the snail...ugh! Okay...can I have two answers? Please? With a cherry on top?"

"Sure, why not. Other people did it," Link said, shrugging.

"Okay I choose c and a! I hope I'm right… I BETTER be right!" she shouted, grabbing Xalin's chainsaw from him.

"Hey!" Xalin shouted, and he pulled out another one. "En garde!"

"As it turns out, the correct answer was A! Congrats, you got a Golden Rupee!" Link shouted as the two contestants dueled with the loud chainsaws. "Uh…where's our theme song?" Link asked as he grabbed the shiny, golden rupee.

"Hey! (The band is late!)" Navi shouted from inside her bottle.

"What band?! All we need is one guy!"

"Listen! (Not my problem, I'm stuck in a bottle, remember!)"

"Oh fine. Oy, contestants! No fighting!"

"She started it!" Xalin said, but he lowered his chainsaw anyway.

"Alright! A golden rupee!" Lostwonder15 shouted, and she tossed her 'borrowed' chainsaw off to the side and raced over to Link.

Xalin gave a scream and leaped to catch the weapon in a very dramatic way. "It's ok, chainsaw number 55. You're safe now!" Xalin said, and he put away that weapon as well, glaring angrily at Lostwonder15 as she received her rupee.

"Congratualtions, Lostwonder15! Thanks for coming!" Link was just about to push the contestant off of the stage when suddenly their newest theme song started to play. The last theme song happened to be… the Song of Soaring, from Majora's Mask! Everyone started to scream as they were suddenly surrounded by white wings. Xalin and Lostwonder15 stared in awe as the entire Zelda cast disappeared before their very eyes.

"…Where do you think they went?" Lostwonder15 asked.

"Don't know, don't care. I'm out of here!" Xalin said, and he went running off. Lostwonder15 went home as well, admiring her golden rupee the entire way.

"Where are we!?" Zelda shouted as soon as the wings had left them.

"I think… hey! We made it back home! The building we were in during the first few chapters!" Link shouted excitedly.

"Hooray!" everyone cheered.

"What!? No no no NO! We can't be back here!" Ruto shouted with Dark Link nodding in agreement next to her. "We planned the party for Windfall Island! We have to redo everything now! Come on, Darky, let's go!"

Everyone started to snicker at the nickname.

"Ruto! I told you not to call me that! Now everyone's laughing at me!" Dark Link shouted as he followed after her.

"Hey guys, look! I got an awesome mask!" Wind Waker Link shouted as he marched over to them, showing off Majora's Mask.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" everyone else shouted as he slowly and dramatically placed it over his face.

TO BE CONTINUED! …No really, for real this time!

**Well that's it! All that's left is the bonus chapter with Malon's quest and Starlll's party! And I know I'm a bit late, but Happy Halloween anyway! :-D**

**Thanks for reading everyone! And thanks, Lostwonder15 for coming on the show! And thanks, keybladeboy, for Xalin! Whew, lots of thanks... and now for some advertising! Yay! If me and Senom299() were talking about the same thing, then she made a fanfiction site for people under thirteen, which is a really cool idea, in my opinion. If you guys want to check it out, I think it's fanfiction4kids(dot)synthasite(dot)com! Also, another funny story you all should check out on this site is Remedies for the Ill, 3 (by PY687)! And...I probably forgot someone/something... oh well. I'll say sorry, just in case! :-D**

**See you at the bonus chapter!**

**Hmm...now I have to figure out the new and confusing menu to get this posted... Life is so hard! lol  
**


	10. Bonus Chapter!

**So sorry about the wait, but the final chapter is finally here! And... I think the dividing lines saved this time! Woot! Just a quick warning, there's some spoilers for Majora's Mask in this one (not anything big though...I don't think...). Also, I realized after I posted the last chapter that I never finished my sentence on Senom299's stories! Sorry about that. I was going to say that I really enjoyed 'A Guardian of the Dimensions' (even the name is cool!), and 'Sincerely -Princess Midna' (sniff, it was so sad). I _still _haven't found the time to read 'I'm a Gerudo and a Good Guy', but it sounds interesting (I read the summary at the top). And I think that's all I was planning on saying... I probably forgot something. Also, good luck on your novel!  
And now for the chappie!**

**

* * *

**Chapter 8  
Bonus Chapter!

It was really early in the morning in Hyrule, and Dark Link, Ruto, Twilight Princess Link (because he's the best looking one, bwahahaha!) and Jane were making their way to their office building thing where the party would be held in just a few hours. "It's soooo early!" Jane complained. "I don't like getting up before the sun!"

"Me neither!" Link said with a pout.

"Oh, it looks like there's someone already here…" Ruto said, stopping short when she saw a single person standing near the locked door. As soon as this person spotted the others he started to wave enthusiastically. "Who the heck is he!?" Ruto shouted.

"Hi guys! It's me, Starlll!" shouted the guy as they arrived at the door. "When's the party starting!? When when when???"

"Uh… not until later…" Dark Link said.

"Is that a mask you're wearing?" Link asked frantically when he noticed the George Washington mask over Starlll's face. "Was this a costume party that everyone conveniently forgot to tell me about!? This is kindergarten all over again!" the hero shouted before running off.

"He's a bit strange isn't he…" Starlll said as everyone watched him run off.

"Yes, he is. Now step aside! I have the master key!" Ruto shouted, and she shoved a giant boss key into the lock before desperately trying to turn it.

"Ruto… that's not the right key…" Jane said, yawning tiredly while the others just stared at the fish princess.

"It is too!"

"Oh just move over, will you! I want to get this over with!" Jane shouted, and she shoved the Zora away from the door before using her own key to unlock the door.

"PARTY!" Starlll shouted, and he pushed past everyone and raced inside. "…Hey, where is everyone? And where's the confetti and cupcakes!?"

"We're working on it!" Dark Link shouted as he dragged in a humongous table that didn't really make it through the doorway. "We're stuck!" Dark Link announced finally.

"You were supposed to build it inside the building, fool!" Ruto screeched.

"Hey guys, I got a mask!" Link said as he came back. "Are you going to get this table inside? Because I kind of want to come in too…" he said, pouting from outside and leaning on the table that was only halfway through the door.

"Hey…is that the bomb mask?" Dark Link asked.

"Maybe…" Link said nervously.

…five seconds later…

"Clear everyone!" Jane shouted as Link aimed his face at the narrow doorframe.

"Fire in the hole!" Link screamed before blowing up his mask. The doorway was instantly widened, and so the others were able to easily move the table inside.

"Hmm… on second thought, we probably could've just used the back door. It's bigger," Jane said as Link drank some red potion to get rid of the annoying beeping sound that always arrived whenever he was almost dead.

"Now this mask is ruined! I have to find another one!" Link said crossly before stomping off.

"Ok, I'm going to head to the store for some last minute things. Good luck!" Jane said, and she went running off.

"Party party party party party party party party party par-"

"Starlll," Ruto interrupted calmly, "I know you're the all important guest and everything, but…shut up!"

Starlll gasped, "PARTY!" he screeched.

"Oh that is it, prepare to die!" Ruto shouted.

She was just about to slap him with a fish when Dark Link quickly intervened. "Hey, how about you go see if Link is back yet," he suggested.

Instantly hearts appeared in Ruto's eyes, "Linky!" she shrieked before running outside. Dark Link shook his head before getting back to decorating the room.

"I really like parties, how about you?" Starlll shouted in Dark's ear.

"Yeah…they're great…" Dark said, rubbing his ear to try and get rid of the strange ringing sound that had just started.

A few hours later, the room was finally ready for the party, and most of the other guests were already arriving. Jane, for some reason, was still nowhere to be seen.

"Ahha! En guard, everyone!" shouted one of the guests as they poured into the finely decorated room. "Lacri, for the last time, we don't want to duel!" Malon said tiredly.

"Who's Lacri?" Dark Link asked.

"Ahha! I am Lacri! The amazing OC from one of Senom299's stories! I challenge you, sir, to a duel!"

"Alright then, bring it!" Dark Link shouted eagerly.

"Oh honestly, this is a party! You're not supposed to duel at a party!" Ruto shouted. She quickly ducked when the two duelists nearly hit her with their flailing swords.

"This place is insane! Why did Dea of Letum send me here!?" asked a young girl as she entered the building along with Jane.

"What do you people think you're doing!?" Jane shouted.

Instantly Lacri sheathed her sword and looked innocently at Jane, "He started it!"

"Dark!" Jane snapped at the Link look-alike.

"Did not!" Dark shouted back.

"How many times do I have to tell you!? No fighting with the all important guests!"

"But I-"

"No buts! Now, time for some quick introductions before the party starts. You've all met Lacri already," Jane said as Lacri waved happily at everyone. "She's from Senom299's story, A Guardian of the Dimensions, which is on her own site, which I mentioned in the last chapter. And this is Sam, Dea of Letum's OC, from her story, Unfolding the Tale of Secrets. And we also have our very last contestant from the game show, Lostwonder15!"

"Hi everyone! I love parties!" Lostwonder15 said, shoving past Jane and Sam.

"Me too!" Starlll shouted as he shoved a few cupcakes into a bag to save for later.

"Hmm… Sam?" Zelda asked.

"Yeah?"

"Isn't that short for Samantha?"

"My name is Sam, fool!" Sam shouted, and she whacked Zelda with a giant hammer.

"Ok everyone, let's get this party started!" Jane said. "I've never been to a party, so I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do, so just do your own thing… and let's keep the sugar away from the Kokiri if we can…"

"That's prejudice!" Mido shouted. "Prejudice against Kokiri!"

"Too late…" Midna commented as Mido started to throw a temper tantrum and swing around on the ceiling ornaments, cackling madly as he swallowed sugar cubes whole.

"DANCE OFF!" Starlll shouted before bursting into dance along with Lostwonder15, Lacri, and Sam.

"Noooooo, dancing isn't scheduled until after lunch!" Ruto screamed. "Oh this is all wrong!" she shouted, stomping her foot angrily as the Gorons joined in on the dance. "Dark!"

"What now?"

"They aren't following the schedule!"

"What!? But we worked so hard on that… I'll stop them! Hey everyone, TV time!"

"Hooray!" everyone cheered, and they marched over to the table and sat down, completely ignoring Ruto's attempts to show them where they were supposed to be sitting.

"Our first show shall be the recording that I made while Malon was looking for her horses!" Jane said happily.

"Hey…I didn't see you there!" Midna shouted.

"Yeah whatever. Now pay attention, you're missing it!"

* * *

… A long time ago (I don't feel like figuring out how long)…

"This is Jane, recording, for the first time, the actions of the elusive Zelda characters!" Jane whispered into a large camera.

"Actually, people have been doing these truth or dare things for awhile now…" Link said.

"Shut up, Link! You're not supposed to know I'm here! Why else would I be disguising myself as a stupid tree!?"

"Ohhhhhh, that's why you're wearing the costume. It's weird, because we're sort of floating around in a tiny boat in the middle of the ocean…"

"Oh whatever!" Jane shouted. "Aren't you supposed to be doing a dare or something?"

…the scene cuts to static as Jane and Link start to argue…

"Ok, Malon and Midna should be arriving inside Jabu-Jabu any minute now!" Jane said from inside Jabu-Jabu's mouth, this time disguised as a rock. "Ruto just got eaten a few seconds before, and then she went stomping off to explore! Oh wait, here they come!" Jane said happily.

"Ewwwwww," Malon shouted as she and Midna suddenly appeared inside the giant fish's mouth. "This guy's breath stinks!"

"Where'd Ruto get to?" Midna asked.

"I don't know… but there's a clue to where my horses are somewhere here, and I'm going to find it!" Malon said.

"Yeah well, good luck with that," Midna said. "I'm waiting here until it's safe to leave!"

"But you're supposed to help me! I am not walking around inside this fish by myself!" Malon shouted, stomping her foot, which made Jabu-Jabu yelp in surprise.

"Stop stomping around, you'll hurt the fish!" Midna scolded. "And fine, I'll go with you. Let's move out and get this over with!"

"Yay!" Malon said, clapping happily. "See you later, Jane!" the girl shouted, waving at the rock as the two left the mouth and went deeper into Jabu-Jabu.

"Darn it all! I really need to find better disguises!" Jane grumbled as she followed them… from a discreet distance.

…There's another short burst of static before the camera focuses on that one room inside Jabu-Jabu where Link first met Ruto (if you haven't played Ocarina of Time, it's sort of big with these weird sinkholes everywhere…I know, my ability to describe things amazes even me). "Who are you!?" Ruto demanded, ignoring the confused looks that Midna and Malon pointed at her. "Well I don't care who you are! I'm looking for my precious stone, that Jabu-Jabu stole from me! What's that? I sent a message for help in a bottle? I did no such thing! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my stone!" Ruto screeched, and she went stomping off, only to fall into one of the sink holes. "Noooooo!" she screamed as she disappeared and fell to the room below.

"That was weird… It's like she completely forgot us!" Malon said as Midna jumped into the hole after the Zora. Malon sighed before following as well.

"What? Are you still here!?" Ruto shouted at them. "Well if you're so insistent on following me, you can carry me!" Ruto said, and she immediately sat down before looking up at them expectantly. "Well hurry up! Those electric jellyfish are coming!"Midna just gave a disgusted sigh before calmly walking off, leaving Malon to carry Ruto. "I'm not leaving this fish until I find my stone though!" Ruto warned as the group quickly slipped into another part of Jabu-Jabu.

"Well I'm not leaving until I find my horses!" Malon said.

"…Horses!? Zoras don't have horses! Why would Jabu-Jabu eat a bunch of horses!?"

Malon just sighed before tossing the princess into a large bubble that had nearly hit them. "Eep! Haha! Fun! Do it again!" Ruto shouted, clapping her hands. "Again again again again again again again!"

"This is going to be a long quest…" Midna grumbled.

After a long time of wandering around, the group finally reached Jabu-Jabu's head. "This guy doesn't have a very big brain, does he," Midna commented as the trio wandered around, still searching for the horses and Zora stone, which wasn't even inside Jabu-Jabu anymore but in the Temple of Time.

"I don't get it. I was supposed to have found my stone by now!" Ruto screeched into Malon's ear.

"Alright that's it! I'm tired of carrying you! You can walk yourself!" Malon shouted, throwing the princess away from her.

"Weeeeee! Do it again!" Ruto squealed as she went flying through the air.

"I'm never going to find my horses at this rate!" Malon wailed loudly.

"And I want to be thrown again!" Ruto screamed. Soon Midna was stuck with two crying girls, and no earplugs.

"This quest stinks!" Midna said miserably. Suddenly, a giant, electric monster thing appeared.

"Ahhhhh! Monster!" Malon screamed.

"Get it! Get it!" Ruto shouted, still sitting in the place where she had landed with her back turned to the monster and most of the room.

"Ok, we'll just call this quest a failure!" Midna said, and she quickly warped everyone out to Lake Hylia.

"Midna!? Why did you warp the monster!?" Malon screamed.

"Uh… I dunno."

"Quick! Let's ride some of those horses!" Ruto shouted, pointing to a large herd of horses that were grazing near the lake.

"My horses used to graze near the lake too!" Malon said sadly as she trudged after the other two, who were running desperately towards the herd.

For some reason, none of them even noticed that the monster had turned around and started to head back to Zora domain (his job was to sell paper weights to the Zoras, and gosh darn it, he was going to sell all three hundred! Whether he got eaten again or not!). "Hey, I just got an idea!" Malon shouted suddenly. "Epona always comes whenever I sing her song, so maybe all of my horses will come too!"

"That's a stupid idea!" the creepy, old scientist guy shouted from inside his laboratory/house. Malon ignored him, however, and started to loudly hum her song.

"Nooooooo!" Midna screamed when suddenly all of the horses started to charge towards Malon, trampling over the Twili and the Zora.

"Hey, these _are_ my horses!" Malon said happily as the herd surrounded the young girl, whinnying happily.

"Yeah, we got that, thanks…" Midna grumbled, brushing grass and dirt off of her clothes.

"I found them! I found them!" Malon cheered, spinning around in circles happily.

"I still want my stone!" Ruto shouted. "What kind of person are you? Leaving me behind like that! Act like a… farmer! Take responsibility!" the princess snapped, sitting down and waiting for Malon to carry her again.

"Let's go home!" Malon said, completely ignoring the Zora as she leaped onto one of the horses and marched the herd back to Lon-Lon Ranch.

"Hey! Get back here! …Well, I guess you'll just have to carry me!" Ruto said, looking at Midna.

The Twili grinned evilly before warping Ruto back inside Jabu-Jabu.

"Noooooo!" Ruto screamed before calmly sitting down and waiting for someone to rescue her.

* * *

"And that's how I got my horses! It's a true story!" Malon said happily.

"How'd Ruto get out of the fish?" Link asked curiously.

"I'll tell you how! I got out on my own! Hah!" Ruto shouted.

"Actually I warped her out, because she had to do a dare…" Jane said casually.

"Fine," Ruto said sulkily.

"Oh oh oh! Jane! Jaaaaaane!" Starlll shouted, waving his hand through the air. "I've got a film to play! I do! Me me me!"

"Ok! Let's start it!" Jane shouted, running up to the dvd player. "Ok… now do I press this button?"

"No, I think it's the other one," Lostwonder15 said, leaning over the back of her chair to see better.

"No no no, it's that one!" Sam and Lacri shouted at the same time, pointing to two completely different buttons.

"Ahha! There's an ancient tradition, where if we both say the same thing at the same time, you owe me… a soda!" Lacri said.

"What!? I'm not buying you a soda! There's plenty of drinks right over there!" Sam said.

"Then we shall duel for it! En guard!"

"Bring it!" Sam screeched, and soon the two were fighting while Jane, Lostwonder15, and Starlll tried to figure out how to work the fancy dvd player.

"Oh just push all the buttons!" Link, who had joined in, said cheerfully. Finally the group managed to eject the first dvd, and they were then able to play Starlll's. Lacri and Sam instantly sat down again, their eyes glued to the large screen that was hanging on the wall.

"The magic picture is starting again!" one of the Zelda characters shouted excitedly as Starlll's film began:

Mudd: (ocarina of time generation) What am I doing in this room?  
Mudd: (Twilight Princess generation) I think we're being taped.  
Mudd: (wind waker generation) Yeah...  
Mudd: (OoT) Hey, anybody see a way out?  
Mudd: (TP) (Sacasticly) Oh yeah, It's marked in big flashing letters.  
Mudd: (OoT) Hey! I'm your father!  
Mudd: (TP) You wanna mess? Huh? Huh? You wanna mess? (OoT Steps forward and  
knocks TP out with one hit.)  
Mudd: (WW) (He was the cohost) You think you're so tough? Huh?  
Mudd: (OoT) Well... Yeah.  
Mudd: (WW) Oh really, grandpa?  
Mudd: (OoT) Don't talk to your elders like that!  
Mudd: (WW) You wanna mess?  
Mudd: (OoT) Nah, one family member a day. So how's you girlfriend? Her name's  
Tetra, right?  
Mudd: (WW) SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!! (Dives at OoT with his knives, and the  
two get into a knife fight)  
Mudd: (OoT) You think you can take me?  
Mudd: (WW) You think you can take me? (kicks him in a SENSITIVE spot)  
Mudd: (OoT) (Grabs his arm) Holy Din that hurts!  
Mudd: (WW) But I didn't kick your arm.  
Mudd: Yeah, but I don't want the readers to know where it REALLY hurts.  
(passes out.)  
Mudd: (WW) Oh well. Hi everybody! I'd come to the party, but NO, Starl just  
had to go himself. And Link, I'm still gonna get you because of that poster!  
(Laughs) Oh, and by the way, Stay away from the restrooms and all beds/cots,  
I'll get you in you sleep! (Laughs crazily)  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (A fly goes down his throat) (chokes) EEP!

* * *

"Wow, the Mudd family's got issues!" Zelda said.

"He choked on a fly! Call an ambulance!" Link screamed.

"Link, he just threatened you and you want to save his life!?" Midna shouted.

"Oh…right…"

Twilight Princess Link sighed tiredly, "Wind Waker Link never was the brightest…"

"That's right! I never was- hey!"

"Great clip, Starlll! Now let's see what else we have on the agenda for today," Jane said, flipping through the schedule that had been sloppily written. "Dark Link, learn to write!" Jane shouted, finally giving up on trying to read the notes and throwing the notebook at the man.

"Hey! This is my best handwriting yet!" Dark shouted.

"Oh oh oh, is Shadow Link here? Is he? Is he!?" Sam shouted, ignoring Lacri as she and Ilia started to duel over the last cupcake.

"Um…there's Dark Link…" Jane said hesitantly.

"No no no, it's all wrong! Shadow Link is way better!"

"I didn't know there was a difference…" Dark Link said with a pout.

"Yeah well, you know less than Wind Waker Link," Twilight Princess Link said.

"That's right! You know less than me! …Hey! Again!" Wind Waker shouted, pulling out his sword. "I challenge you to a duel!"

"Bring it!" Lacri shouted, charging over to the boy.

"What!? No, not you! Fine… I'll fight you, and then I'll fight Link!"

"Wait a minute… I thought he got possessed by that evil mask…" Shadow Link said, appearing suddenly from…the shadows.

"Shadow Link!!!" Sam squealed before running up to him and hugging him.

"Hey hey hey! I don't do hugs! No hugs!" Shadow screeched.

"Oh yeah… I forgot he put Majora's Mask on!" Jane said, completely ignoring Shadow Link.

"That's why I recorded it!" Majora's Mask said happily, hopping onto the table. Everyone quickly scooted their chairs back so that they wouldn't be possessed.

"Everyone panic and run around in circles!" Jane screamed before doing just that. Everyone else just stared at her until she finally stopped and sat down, pouting.

"Annnnyway… Here's my movie!" Majora's Mask said, still staring at Jane with a confused expression.

* * *

"Hey guys, look! I got an awesome mask!" Wind Waker Link shouted as he marched over to them, showing off Majora's Mask.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!" everyone else shouted as he slowly and dramatically placed it over his face.

"Hahahahahahaha! Prepare to be crushed by a giant moon with a creepy face!" Wind Waker Link shouted (since my laziness is starting to kick in once again, we'll just call him WW for now…).

"Don't worry, I know what to do!" Majora's Mask Link shouted (MM?).

"Oh you again. I thought I killed you!" WW said with a pout, which wasn't visible because of the giant mask covering his face.

"Nnnnnoooo…" MM said while everyone else got bored with the conversation and wandered off.

"Darn it all! This is what happens when Jane doesn't finish a game! She imagines all these different endings, gets confused, and then thinks that's what actually happened!" WW grumbled, stomping his foot.

"Well we'll just have to fight again!" MM shouted.

"Fine by me!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"I'll be back in a bit! I have to do the four temples again, and get the masks!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" MM shouted before stomping off.

WW made a face at MM's back, which, once again, wasn't visible because of the giant mask over his face. The possessed hero then sat down in a lounge chair and waited.

A few hours later, MM returned, panting heavily from running around for a very long time without sleeping. "Ok, it took me a few months, but I got everything I need!" MM said, leaning against the wall.

"Finally! I was waiting here for, like, hours!" WW said, jumping up and pulling out his sword.

"Ok, here we go! OW!!! What the heck was that for!?" MM shouted as WW hit him with his sword.

"We're fighting! Aren't we?"

"Not yet! I have to play the song to keep the moon from falling first!"

"Oh fine!" WW said, throwing his arms up in the air exasperatedly before sitting down in his chair again and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Here I go!" MM said, and soon four giants were surrounding the building and holding the moon (which wasn't even falling) up. "Ok, now let's fight! OW! I wasn't ready yet, man!"

"Oh for crying out loud! What else do you have to do!?"

"Well I had to trade a few masks in first to get the super mask, but _now_ I have to drink some milk too!"

WW scowled before sitting down once again and glaring at MM as he tried to hand his masks to four little kids that were kind of creepy. "I thought we were supposed to do this on the moon…" WW said after a while.

"Yeah, but I decided to do things differently. Mix it up a little!" MM said as he drank some of his milk.

"Are you ready yet?" WW asked in a whiny voice.

"Wait…" MM said, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Oh come on! Move it already!"

"Alright alright! Sheesh, you're so impatient! Ok, ready! OW!"

WW sighed as his one hit killed MM, "You forgot to collect your heart pieces, didn't you."

"Uhhhhh… maybe?" MM said as the world darkened and the mysterious words 'Game Over' appeared. "Yes I'd like to try again, darn it!" MM shouted in response to a question that appeared a few seconds later. "Now then, you may have gotten me last time, but I'm ready now!" MM said, bobbing up and down and swinging his sword around randomly. WW stared at him before lightly poking him with his sword. "OW!"

"This is ridiculous! I don't even want to destroy the world anymore!" WW shouted, and Majora's Mask swiftly left the hero's face and went hopping off.

"Ahha! I defeated it!" MM shrieked excitedly.

"Aw man! You always get the cool battles! I wanted to defeat the monster too!" WW whined, with no clue as to what MM was even talking about.

* * *

"And that's what happened!" Majora's Mask said, glaring at Majora's Mask Link as he shrugged.

"Well…that's interesting…" Jane said. "Anybody else have any clips or anything to share?"

Wind Waker Link looked around and then smiled happily when he saw that nobody else was raising their hands, "Oh oh! Oh oh oh oh oh! Me! Me me me!"

"Nobody? Oh well, then I guess that's it for TV time!" Jane said.

"Aw man!" WW Link said, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Now then, as a suggestion from Senom299, it's time for… a Guitar battle! Woot!" Jane shouted, racing over to the game system that was already being played by the Kokiri. "What is it with these games and the little kids!?" Jane shouted, stomping her foot impatiently. "Every time I go to the store, it's always being played by this little kid who's super good at it! It's not fair!"

"…Looks like we'll just have to use real guitars!" Majora's Mask Link said, placing his Zora mask on and then pulling out a guitar.

"Noooo," Jane whined. "I'm no good at real instruments! They're hard!"

Twilight Princess Link nodded, "It's true, you should see her. She's horrible with real instruments."

"Hey!" Jane protested.

"What!? I'm agreeing with you!"

"Yeah… the one time you do…"

"Don't worry, I know how to get the kids to move!" Midna said cheerfully.

"Just don't warp them into a dungeon. They're minors and that makes us responsible for their safety and all that rubbish…" Jane said.

"Whatever," Midna said, right before warping them to Lon-Lon Ranch.

"Hey!" the Kokiri protested. "Hey… Look at the pretty horses! Yay!"

"Nooooooo!" Malon screamed as the kids opened up the gate, releasing the horses once again.

Meanwhile… Midna had beaten everyone at the game.

"This game stinks!" Jane complained, tossing her guitar off to the side.

"Yes! New record!" Midna shouted, bursting into dance.

"Alright, let's just eat," Jane grumbled as everyone moved towards the table. "Starlll, you suggested that we seat Tingle with a bunch of Oompa-loompas from Willie Wonka, right?"

"Yep!" Starlll said happily.

"Well I like it! Let's go round up some strange, orange, singing people!" Jane said before running off, dragging Twilight Princess Link along with her, since he was the only one who actually had experience with catching things.

"HO! Here comes an Oompa-loompa!" shouted a large man suddenly.

"I've got it!" Link shouted back, getting into his stance that he usually used for catching goats or throwing Gorons.

"Willie Wonka! Willie Wonka! The amazing choclateer!" the little man sang as he came skipping down the path.

"Got him!" Link shouted, easily grabbing the guy.

"Hey!" the Oompa-loompa protested as he was carried back to the party.

"Tingle Tingle kooloo-limpah!" Tingle was saying as the three returned.

"Willie Wonka!" the Oompa-loompa shouted back.

Everyone else sighed as the two soon continued to repeat themselves.

"Tingle's conversations never get very far, do they…" Lostwonder15 said as she stared at the two.

"Nope," Jane said as Lacri tried to challenge the newcomer to a duel, and Sam went back to hugging poor Shadow Link.

"Heeeeelp! I'm under attack by crazed squirrels!" WW Link shouted, running around the room and providing the others with a show as they ate.

* * *

**The End! And now I have the Willie Wonka song stuck in my head, because I had to listen to it, so I could write some of it... Must, listen, to, another, song... Anyway, thanks so much, Starlll, for the idea for the party and the clip of the Mudd's arguing! It was hilarious! Also, thanks for coming to the party, Starlll and Lostwonder15! And thanks, Dea of Letum, for your OC Sam! And thanks, Senom299, for your OC Lacri!**

**And a big big thanks to everyone who reviewed/put this on their favorites! Cookies, brownies, and cupcakes for all of you!**

**Thanks for reading!  
**


End file.
